Aarrr! Don't Forrrget!
- gonzo914
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A fine piratey read -- Pirates of Pensacola.
Very much in the spirit of Carl Hiaasen and Tim Dorsey, but with a tad less gore.
The Cooke and Hood families have been at each other’s throats since the Spanish Main days. The latest chapter in their piratic rivalry takes place in 2004, when an old treasure map turns up. None of this seems to matter to Morgan Cooke, a cowardly, landlubbing accountant entirely ignorant of his heritage until his estranged father, Isaac, in need of crewmen, kidnaps him and thrusts him into the fray. When Morgan wakes up on a boat in the middle of the Caribbean, he learns that piracy still flourishes, albeit with far more discretion than in the old days—pirates disguise their fast boats as shrimpers or tugs—but with no less bloodshed. Judging even a shot at riches vastly preferable to a return to his lonely, fluorescent-lit workstation existence, Morgan sets sail for glorious adventure.
Very much in the spirit of Carl Hiaasen and Tim Dorsey, but with a tad less gore.
Crazy for the blue white and red
Crazy for the blue white and red
And yellow fringe
Crazy for the blue white red and yellow
Crazy for the blue white and red
And yellow fringe
Crazy for the blue white red and yellow
- Wanderer
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But I guess you gotta filter out the spambots.
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I don't usually promote my website here much, but I think in this case it may be appropriate
Oops.."Yarr, me hearties! Me don' be spreadin' about me own bloodthirsty reputation', but I tell ye straight, this be a good time for it!"
Oh, blow the man down, bullies, blow the man down
To me way aye blow the man down
Oh, blow the man down, bullies, blow the man down
Give me some time to blow the man down!
As I was walking down Paradise Street
A pretty young damsel I chanced for to meet.
She was round in the counter and bluff in the bow.
So I took in all said and cried, "Way enough now."
So I tailed her my flipper and took her in tow.
And yardarm to yardarm away we did go.
But as we were going she said unto me,
"There's a spanking full-rigger just ready for sea."
But as soon as that packet was clear of the bar,
The mate knocked me down with the end of a spar.
It's starboard and larboard on deck you will sprawl,
For Kicking Jack Williams commands the Black Ball
So I give you fair warning before we belay,
Dont' ever take heed of what pretty girls say.
Oops.."Yarr, me hearties! Me don' be spreadin' about me own bloodthirsty reputation', but I tell ye straight, this be a good time for it!"
Oh, blow the man down, bullies, blow the man down
To me way aye blow the man down
Oh, blow the man down, bullies, blow the man down
Give me some time to blow the man down!
As I was walking down Paradise Street
A pretty young damsel I chanced for to meet.
She was round in the counter and bluff in the bow.
So I took in all said and cried, "Way enough now."
So I tailed her my flipper and took her in tow.
And yardarm to yardarm away we did go.
But as we were going she said unto me,
"There's a spanking full-rigger just ready for sea."
But as soon as that packet was clear of the bar,
The mate knocked me down with the end of a spar.
It's starboard and larboard on deck you will sprawl,
For Kicking Jack Williams commands the Black Ball
So I give you fair warning before we belay,
Dont' ever take heed of what pretty girls say.
- Jayhawk
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I quite liked Pirates of Pensacola. I also just finished Gus Openshaw's Whale Killing Journal...a bit derivative of his first book (heck, he lifted entire sentences from one book and plopped them down in the second) but fun nonetheless.
Eric (AKA Iron Tom Cash per the pirate name program)
Eric (AKA Iron Tom Cash per the pirate name program)
Last edited by Jayhawk on Tue Sep 19, 2006 8:43 am, edited 2 times in total.
Avast there mates, ye're sailin' with Long John Black-Beard,
Peg-Leg, Patch-Eye Hook, da scourge of da boundin' main.
Bloodthirstiest, black-heartedest pirate captain what ever sailed
the seven seas, haarrrr! What say ye we hoist the Jolly Roger,
heel over ta yonder Spanish galleon, lay a few broadsides agin'
her timers, swing over on these here lanyards with our cutlasses
in our teeth, cut 'em to ribbons, and split the booty!
What say ye to that, me hearties? Heh! Har, har, haarrrrr!
I don't like it....
You don't like it?
I don't like it and I won't do it. It's tacky!
Tacky, tacky... and don't look at me that way
Well, if you don't like it, what do you want?
I want to sing and dance, I want to sing and dance!
I want to be a pirate in the Pirates of Penzance...
Wear me silver-buckled slippers and me tight shiny pants
I want to sing and dance!
etc, ad nauseum.
Peg-Leg, Patch-Eye Hook, da scourge of da boundin' main.
Bloodthirstiest, black-heartedest pirate captain what ever sailed
the seven seas, haarrrr! What say ye we hoist the Jolly Roger,
heel over ta yonder Spanish galleon, lay a few broadsides agin'
her timers, swing over on these here lanyards with our cutlasses
in our teeth, cut 'em to ribbons, and split the booty!
What say ye to that, me hearties? Heh! Har, har, haarrrrr!
I don't like it....
You don't like it?
I don't like it and I won't do it. It's tacky!
Tacky, tacky... and don't look at me that way
Well, if you don't like it, what do you want?
I want to sing and dance, I want to sing and dance!
I want to be a pirate in the Pirates of Penzance...
Wear me silver-buckled slippers and me tight shiny pants
I want to sing and dance!
etc, ad nauseum.
- Loren
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- Tell us something.: You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free - Location: Loren has left the building.
- Tyler
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May FSM rest his soul...Loren wrote:Man, my poor old, and obviously long departed, relative Sir Francis Drake is probably spinning like a fully gimbaled compass in his grave right now.......
Loren
“First lesson: money is not wealth; Second lesson: experiences are more valuable than possessions; Third lesson: by the time you arrive at your goal it’s never what you imagined it would be so learn to enjoy the process” - unknown
- Loren
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- Tell us something.: You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free - Location: Loren has left the building.
- anniemcu
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Arrr... seems we be settlin' fer a bite of lasagners astead o' spaggetti wi the grog ternight... 'll do. Keep yer grubbies out'n it er cookie'll lump yer noggin and harvest yer spares fer tomorry's slop!jsluder wrote:Yep. From Boing Boing: FSM roundup:fearfaoin wrote:Have the Flying Spaghetti Monster adherents adopted this as a Holy Day yet?Regarding Pastafarian holidays, BB reader Keith Kisser says:
The holiest of holidays for Pastafarrians, is of course the birthday of His Most Holy Prophet, Marco Polo (b. sept 15, 1254), who brought the word of his Noodly Appendage back from the East.
As Talk Like A Pirate Day falls on September 19th, this five day period constitutes Holy Pasta Week, durring which spaghetti is consumed liberally. With a nice chianti, of course.
anniemcu
---
"You are what you do, not what you claim to believe." -Gene A. Statler
---
"Olé to you, none-the-less!" - Elizabeth Gilbert
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http://www.sassafrassgrove.com
---
"You are what you do, not what you claim to believe." -Gene A. Statler
---
"Olé to you, none-the-less!" - Elizabeth Gilbert
---
http://www.sassafrassgrove.com
AARRRRrrr I e be known to the seas as ''Captain Terrrifying Tommmy Terrrific''. Lower yer flag and save your self.
''Whistles of Wood'', cpvc and brass. viewtopic.php?f=1&t=69086
- mutepointe
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- scottielvr
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Arrrr, me horn-swogglin mateys... after a busy day o' pillagin' and a celebratory tot o' grog or three, ye kin always relax in yer quarters and knit like a pirate. Make ye a gunner's cap, or a vast stripey scaaaaaarrrrf.
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- Cynth
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AAAAARRRRRRRR!!!!!! What sort of stinkin' addlepated nonsense be this? Scurvy Gums Jean??? Scupper that software ye sons o' biscuit eaters. Ye jest call me Corsair Cat and ye'll get yer share o' the swaggy. Let me set the sproggies to learnin' knittin' like a pirate and then we'll get up the grog fer all ye old sea dogs and, er..., lambs? AARRR!!!
Diligentia maximum etiam mediocris ingeni subsidium. ~ Diligence is a very great help even to a mediocre intelligence.----Seneca
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Aye now, we had a lot of wee blagards come to the door last halloween begging as they will for sweets...I suspect it's the parents lurking out on the path that puts the tykes up to it but seeing as it's only the one day I go along with their extortion...One wee lad wearing a headgear that reminded me of Capn' Crunch stood leering with his sack full of booty. A comical sight, I went along mostly to get rid of the scurvy little dog and said 'well now Capn', where are your buccaneers?' He looks up and says 'Under me buckin' hat'.
cheeky wee ba*#@*#.
cheeky wee ba*#@*#.