Your Paddy Gras Piping stories

Uilleann Pipes
1

Any pipers out there have any interesting St. Patrick’s Day stories? No, I am not asking for a list of all the places you played, just curious about interactions you (as an uilleann piper) and the seething-green masses might have had.

I know for many people this day marks their first-ever exposure to the instrument. This often leads to amusing -and potentially educational- exchanges.

I’ll start, although nothing remarkable here: I was asked the name of the instrument and the person replied “Oh, Dylan pipes”. Well, Minnesota is the birthplace of mister Zimmerman after all.

The other thing was needing to stop in the middle of the tune and shout into the mic “Hey buddy! Put down the drum. Put. It. DOWN! Put it down!” The guy was starting to walk off with the kit the next band was offloading at the stage.

2

Oh, I’ll top that. I had a 12-3pm slot. Duo. Singer got laryingitis from blowing out his voice the night prior. that meaant, what is usually a “cake” gig for me (playing tina, pipes, banjo, flute, whistle, and guitar) w. about 1 set of tunes to 3 songs, turned out to be a no-holds-barred tune fest! I had M/C the entire thing too. Dangerous! So, there were gobs of kids there. I had them dancing like mad. Parents video taping. Reams of people behind the videoing parents drinking and eating.

Then, over jigs, reels, hornpipes, polkas, and different instruments, I got the kids to recreate IN REVERSE what their parents are like on Patrick’s Day. First, everyone crawled on their stomachs looking for the imaginary toilet. Then to their knees reaching for the bathroom door knob. Then, they were standing doing the “drinking gesture.” Then thye did the, “I’m pissed, but i’m going to do a free improv step dance set.” I’ll tell you, it’s difficult to bark in the mic whilst playing! THEN, I taunted one of the single mothers saying, “I believe I know you.” She put down her drink, got on her stomach and dragged herself on her elbows through the crowd of dancing kids all the way too me. I announced, “your wan here obviously knows how to get from point A to point B!”

While continuing, this woman comes to have an intimate chat with me, while i’m effen playing, because hey, that’s the best time to really have a heart-to-heart. She only has one thing to say, “Green Alligator.” I just make a quick sad clown face. She says it again, I make the face longer. She says it again, I add a “no” head movement to the clown face. She says it again, and I… well you get the picture.

The rest of the stuff that went on is best kept out of the print realm.

3

Okay, Mr Kane, that’s HILARIOUS. What a great idea!

We started the day in a tent and of course the stage backed up to the open side, conveniently located next to the battery of Port-A-Johns. The stage floor was soaked and slick as can be. For three hours I played a very exciting game of “how sharp can I get these things to go?” while trying to keep my set tucked inside my coat and watching very pretty snowflakes wafting down … not my best piping moment, that’s for sure!

After three hours in the Arctic we went indoors to basically a beer sauna for another three hours.

I now know what Paddy Keenan was really doing all curled around his pipes in those Bothy Band videos … trying to freaking HEAR them. My back is killing me!

I unpacked my pipes when I got home and they reeked of beer. I guess the bottom of the case sat in some, maybe? (I’m a teetotaller)

It does make you appreciate how great the good players really are, managing to sound terrific in spite of weather, drunks, and bad PA/sound.

Anyway, per your question, Tommy, I did in fact notice that many more people than usual asked me about my pipes (I think I have my new large-diaphragm condenser microphone to blame, maybe?). “What IS that contraption?” was my favorite line. The other thing I noticed is how many of the people asking me about the pipes were young or early-middle-aged women. Usually it’s the bearded academic gents in the tweed caps. :wink:

You go, girls!

BTW, I’m thinking of starting a movement to have that “Unicorn” song obliterated from the collective human consciousness. What is it with people asking for that? Do they not hear the irony?

Craziness.

4

Well got kinda lucky this year: no broken glass, bodily fluids, firearms or SWAT team;
But there was a coin thrown directly at a musician’s face, a stolen article of clothing, and a drunk crashing into a monitor…so- pretty dull all things considered.

:sleep:

5

:swear: You in the Aran Sweater: Step AWAY from the bodhran !!

6

I played a school assembly with a group here in LA that I’m involved with called A Gaelic Gathering http://www.gaelicgathering.com/gaelic_gathering.html

During my portion of the soundcheck the (I’ve seen it all and done it all) soundman showed up on stage with a DI box saying “I’m getting a real bad hum from your rig”. After about 10 seconds of looking at everything and trying to figure out what it might be I guffawed and (you know what’s coming up next) said while turning on the drones, “Is this the hum you’re talking about?” He stood up and walked away without saying a word. It was magical… he was MORTO, so subsequently I had to remind him about it every minute or two… no shame or pity :thumbsup:

Patrick

7

Next time just tell him that a harmonic notch filter at around 74 Hz ought to take care of it. :stuck_out_tongue:

8

I played a few gigs this year. One was for a geneological society at a library in Clermont. At the beginning of the demo/lecture I played, then told everyone how I got into piping. A lady in the back raised her hand and said quite emphatically: “you have been touched by GOD… the way you play that thing and the way you talk. You have a gift and God is speaking through you!!!” She went on for a few minutes to talk about other people in her life who had been touched by God, then when I turned to start a talk about the history of the pipes, she was out the door!

I have to say, even after such a dramatic reception, the audience was very receptive and asked a lot of great questions. Fun altogether.

K

9

My Paddy Gras story is: NO BAR GIGS for the first time in over a decade! Man, did it ever feel fantastic!!! No green beer, no Unicorn song, no feedback from the sound system, no wearing earplugs because the bar is so loud that the speakers have to be set at eleven…I don’t even care about the money I didn’t make.

It was so great, I just might do it again next year!!!

KAD

10

BTW Tom … “Paddy Gras” is now a permanent addition to my lexicon. Perfect!

11

I did a three-hour bar session with Armand Aromin, and it went surprisingly well. Once I had chased off the inevitable geezer with the “Hey cool, are you going to teach us all drinking songs?” “No, go away.” kind of nonsense. Armand and me together is a force to be reckoned with (if I say so myself) and people got that, and didn’t bug us, except to say nice things. A pleasant surprise.

12

Just had a funny encounter this evening which left me thinking, “Did he really say that?”

I was at an “Irish kitchen party” where everyone has to do their party piece. Most of those present were Irish-Canadian or Irish-American. I was the only Irish-Irish (or is that just Irish?) there. A guy asked my help in pronouncing the words of an Irish song. Then he handed me a page with the words of “When Irish Eyes are Smiling”.

I was a little surprised as I expected to be given a song with some Irish words in it. Anyway, I started to read the words, but at the end of the first line, he said “You’re not pronouncing properly. I want to hear it with a real Irish accent” and then started to read through the lyrics in what to me sounded like a bad attempt at a Scottish accent.

So that’s it. I don’t have a real Irish accent. Apart from that, though, it was a good party.

13

Must have been that “Deadly Buzz”…

14

:confused:

The geezers are supposed to know that stuff already.

15

Not really very exciting, but the proverbial old geezer, the one with the tall green fuzy hat came wobbling in my direction with the “I;ve got to talk to you” look in his eyes. I was in the opening few bars of an air I had just learned As I was holding a long note I said to him, as sternly as I could “don’t talk to me” No matter, he started blurt out something before I repeated, then the guy next to me grabbed him and moved him away. He wanted me to play “Danny Boy” but why couldn’t he have waited a few minutes.

16

Saturday was a nice quiet gig in a library - they appreciated the pipes, whistles,and flute. They even asked intelligent questions about the pipes. Sunday was the huge beer soaked tent festival - no pipes, which was a good thing. I spent 4 hours unable to hear what I was playing thru the monitors despite lots of requests for more volume. We had a blond valkyrie type pestering us, saying “I’m a musician…I play the tambourine, let me play”. Really lady? would you walk up in the middle of a symphony performance and ask to play? Our revenge was to let her play it on the unicorn song…thus peroving that she was NOT a musician. The fiddler & I gratefully sat that song out.. :stuck_out_tongue:

17

No pipes this weekend, but at a hotel ballroom gig, the place all decked out in green balloons and shamrocks with a big “St. Patrick’s Day Party!” Banner, a guy walked up to my guitarist between songs and sounding rather irritated asked “it’s not going to be ALL Irish music, is it?” The guitarist shrugged and the guy stalked off angrily. :confused: