With the puzzlement and confusion that inevitably comes with the public’s first live exposure to the uilleann pipes, there comes some interesting quotes. Have any you wish to share?
I’ll start…
-“Those are bagpipes?! But they’re beautiful!”
-[angrily] “You woke me up every morning when I stayed in Edinburgh.”
-“Is that a didgeridoo/hurdy-gurdy, (etc) ?”
-“Is it battery powered?”
-“So you don’t have to blow into it”
-“How does the air get into the bag?”
-"I love the bagpipes (referring to Highland bagpipes).
“Oh look Charleen, the little leprecorny guy with the doo-del-ee-thang !” (with a Southern States drawl) a comment I heard whilst busking at the Cliffs of Moher years ago.
" Ah… isn’t that called “The Horns ?”
" Is dems de U-lay-lee-en pipes ?" (this from a Dub. born and bred).
A comment passed between two Limerick women on Holiday " See Mary, youse have to come to Clare ter hear dem Pipes".( whilst listening to two foreiners imitating Seamus Ennis… better not say who … but they know who they are).
“Is that a bag pipe?”
“Would you like to march in our parade?” (Yes, but you’ll have to provide a wheelchair and someone to push it).
“Can you play ‘Amazing Grace’ on that?” (Actually, I can).
“Wow, you’ve been playing for ages and you haven’t had to blow air into the bag.”
Not a piping anecdote per se, but I did a gig with a group back home in Toronto about 20 years ago. We had a lovely singer, who sang unaccompanied in both Irish and English (we consciously didn’t do the stereotypical Irish ballad thing). She was singing a lovely unaccompanied rendition of ‘The Boys of Mullaghbawn’, which is both a great song and a lovely air. I had stepped off stage during the song, and the owner of the pub (who was Irish himself) came up to me and said ‘Doesn’t that little girl know any Irish songs?’
My favorite thing I’ve heard was when I was playing “in-character” at a local Renaissance faire..
A woman ran up to me and excitedly asked me while gesturing to my lap “Is that a sackbutt?!”
My response was a deliberately exaggerated look of utter bewilderment while I said “Excuse me?!”
these are some things people you say to you when you’re busking but which probably aren’t specific to the pipes
a few old chestnuts that you hear every now and again:
how much do i have to give you to make you stop?
why don’t you get a proper job?
one i only heard once:
why do you keep on playing the same tune over and over again?
however, these were all negated by a very small girl saying: ‘you’re very very excellent’
sometimes they’ll throw a coin and ask: "where do you come from in ireland?’ - and then (playfully) threaten to look for a refund when you answer
a recent one: ‘you’re a bit far south aren’t you?’ - which puzzled me but it turned out they thought they were northumbrian pipes
i also get: ‘they’re like bagpipes aren’t they?’ all the time, and also ‘they’re almost like irish pipes aren’t they?’
i like the banter of passers by except when it’s nasty, also you get the feeling some people mistakenly think they’re saying something original and witty
About 20 years ago, in Glen Innes for its inaugural Celtic weekend, some of us, including Ian Mackenzie and Bill Hart, were enjoying some tunes and cordials in a local pub. Out in the main street the Highland pipers were marching and playing in the opening parade. When the parade was over, a few of the kilted gentlemen came into the pub. One stood watching Bill play. He asked, “What’s the main difference between those pipes and ours?”
“The main difference is that our chanter can play two octaves.”
Yer man looked puzzled for a moment. Then he replied, “Oh, I’m not up on all that technical musical stuff.”
When I was doing my master’s degree at Durham Uni, the guy in charge of organizing college events heard I played “the bagpipes” and approached me, asking if I could pipe in the haggis for a Burns supper. I asked, “Does this involve walking?” He said, “Er… yes.” I explained, “I’d be happy to do it, but someone will have to push me in a wheelchair.” I got a blank stare and never heard from him after. A Highland piper piped in the haggis.
I’ve been asked if I have a footpump, but my personal favorite – and you have to realize I only play a half set and at the moment seemed doomed to that for eternity – are the ones who ask me what kind of bagpipe it is, and when I answer Irish/uilleann pipes, they argue with me. “No, those aren’t uilleann pipes.” They are, I insist, thinking I ought to know what instrument I play, and then they explain to me that proper uilleann pipes have the tubes with the keys that go across the lap, and mine doesn’t have any of those. Yes, I KNOW, and f *** ck you very much. Well, I don’t say that, but I think it.
The other day I was a-busking when a women interrupted (mid-tune) to ask “Is that the theme from Titanic?”
To which I replied “No, it’s Amazing Grace”.
