Sorry for being pedantic on the question hans, but the way you re-pose the question (as quoted above) only serves to make it even more difficult for me to give a precise answer.I meant: "how did you learn most of the tunes you play?". It is not neccessarily how you learn tunes now, or how you learned your first tunes. It is about the preferred way you used for the majority of tunes you learned.
One cannot give an answer to 'the preferred way you used for the majority of your tunes' because I did not learn all my tunes at the same time or all in the same way, so therefore the first tunes I learned were learned differently from the tunes I learned later, and they in turn were learned differently than how I learn now.
Written music was not used when I was growing up, I learned the same way the people that I knew learned how to play, and that was by ear, so for me it was not a 'preferred way', it was the only way.
I would like to make a little comment on the 'elitist' allegations. I was born in Northern Ireland, I play in what can be described as a softer edged Belfast style, (not so much 'huff and puff' and mad speed) I have played since childhood. Am I experienced? Yes. Elitist? No. Yet some folk here would jump all over me as elitist just for mentioning that I come from a real traditional music background and grew up with the music around me. That does not make me 'elitist'.
I was once a beginner, I was once a lesser musician, I have been through all the learning stages and after 30 odd years I am still learning new ways of playing tunes, and it will never end.
It is not about being elitist, it is all about different levels of experience in playing the music.
So no matter how it may sound to (and here again I have to use a word that will make the reverse elitist ears prick up) 'less' experienced musicians, I would suggest the more experienced ITM practioners on here are not being elitist but are trying to offer help and guidance from their greater depth of experience and knowledge.