Devondancer update

Coffee · Post by **Coffee** » Wed Sep 17, 2008 8:29 am

I'm glad she's recovering.
I will continue to pray for a full recovery.

devondancer · Post by **devondancer** » Wed Sep 17, 2008 11:06 am

Lesley is stable now, although very tired and frail. She has had a lot of pain and been so breathless that she was totally worn out. Although she is such a fighter, for the last three days she has been slowly fading away, just worn out by all she was enduring and unable to fight any more. I had been unable to reach her, which was awful.
Last night, with the help of a friend, and, I feel, a greater friend, I just talked to her, "set her free" in a way to make her own choice of life or death. I could not force her to stay for me, not when she was in such distress. But she loves life so much, she chose to stay, and is now fighting back. She is still very ill, but there is every hope now that she will make a good recovery and may be stronger than before. This has been a miracle to me. She will be back playing music at home where she belongs. And she is annoyed because she can't yet write down the "angel music" that she heard and must record before it disappears. I can't do it for her, unfortunately! She is not impressed!
I have left her sleeping and will go to bed myself tonight, as I think she is safe now.
Thank you all for your continued and wonderful support. Lesley will be so touched.
Roland

Martin Milner · Post by **Martin Milner** » Wed Sep 17, 2008 11:38 am

Glad to hear Lesie is on the mend again, now remember to get some rest yourself Roland.

SteveShaw · Post by **SteveShaw** » Wed Sep 17, 2008 12:16 pm

Sleep tight, old chap. We're right with you both.

anniemcu · Post by **anniemcu** » Wed Sep 17, 2008 2:27 pm

SteveShaw wrote:Sleep tight, old chap. We're right with you both.

Ditto that!!

Redwolf · Post by **Redwolf** » Wed Sep 17, 2008 2:57 pm

I just revisited this thread, after a few days away, and was shocked to hear that Lesley had had such a setback! Still praying for both of you.

Redwolf

The Weekenders · Post by **The Weekenders** » Wed Sep 17, 2008 4:54 pm

I'm prayin' for both of you. This is so much to bear, Roland. You have to take care of yourself as well. Best wishes.

tansy · Post by **tansy** » Wed Sep 17, 2008 5:19 pm

I'm there with you both, Roland. So sorry she and you must suffer so.
All the best, Tansy

devondancer · Post by **devondancer** » Thu Sep 18, 2008 2:11 am

I have slept soundly all night, with no phone calls from the hospital to terrify me! I have also rung the ward this morning, and Lesley has had a good night too. I shall go and see her soon.

Today I just feel angry: angry that an old lady could do this to my wife, who only ever wanted to look after and help people. Angry that the nursing home she worked for could have let this happen. Lesley wrote to the owner before the incident, telling him that the lady concerned was not able to be cared for adequately by the number and experience level of the staff. The lady had obvious mental health problems and should not have been there at all. She was originally very sick and resisting all care, and Lesley was doing exactly what she should in reporting that the care level was not suitable. It all came down to money. Rich old lady; expensive room; blow the staff. And it has nearly killed my wife. This is wrong. It makes me so mad.

I will not upset Lesley further by saying all this, but need to say it to someone. I so nearly lost her; the world so nearly lost a good person.

Thanks for letting me let off steam, and for all your continued good wishes and kindness.

Ro

Cork · Post by **Cork** » Thu Sep 18, 2008 2:18 am

Great to hear it! I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak, as it was obvious that you could have harbored a lot of tension.

Good!

:-)

missy · Post by **missy** » Thu Sep 18, 2008 3:46 am

Roland - as I've told you before, it's perfectly OK to get mad. And it's perfectly OK to "sound off" to all of us (or to me in an email if you need to).

Later - after Lesley is healthy again - take that anger and make it into something productive. But for now, just get it out or it will eat you alive.

Drop over to the PROCT area of the board and get into a good shouting match with one of us!!!!

Take care.......

Martin Milner · Post by **Martin Milner** » Thu Sep 18, 2008 4:06 am

I'm pretty angry too Roland, moreso now that I learn that Lesley warned the authorities about the aggressive patient and nothing was done.

We now live in a country where adults alone in a public park are assumed to be paedophiles, and kids can't run around in their school playground in case they fall and their parents sue the school.

susnfx · Post by **susnfx** » Thu Sep 18, 2008 6:39 am

The ongoing stress and fear has got to be taking a toll on you, Roland. I'm glad you're getting some rest and hope to hear better news soon!

Susan

devondancer · Post by **devondancer** » Thu Sep 18, 2008 11:33 am

Lesley has had a quiet day, with no drama! She has slept a good deal, but has been busy "inside": I have been sent home to find a 48 bar waltz tune to fit a dance she has been writing! Now, Lesley has not written a dance since the first injury, as she could not bear to write dances she couldn't dance. Today, she has written a dance! "Written" is not quite true, as she is lying down with no paper etc., but it is in her head. I have gone through her databases to find a suitable tune for her - luckily I found one, or she'd have had to write that too! I shall take it to her tomorrow and she can dance her dance in her head. She is still waiting anxiously for manuscript paper and a whistle, so that she can write down the "angel music", but she is not up to it yet, and I am not tempting her by leaving it within reach!
She is still exhausted, from pain and breathlessness, but her breathing is much better and, best of all, her heart is also much stronger. She just has to recover slowly, which we all know is hard for her! Her consultant is amazed by her. He has been so good to us, stayed with us through the worst times, been with me when there was little to hope for and delighted with me in the miracle of her recovery. We have been very lucky.
Thank you, my friends, for your powerful good wishes and prayers. They have been answered, and, humanly speaking, Lesley will now make a good recovery at last.
Roland

peeplj · Post by **peeplj** » Thu Sep 18, 2008 12:50 pm

That's very good news!

And I just want to add my agreement to what's already been written: you should be angry. You should be madder'n hell, as a matter of fact.

Every now and again you're going to have to let some of those feelings out. Best to do it in a controlled fashion, at a time of your own choosing, rather than to wait until they boil over and come out unexpectedly, and possibly aimed in the wrong direction.

Warm healing thoughts to you both.

--James