Getting ripped in 23 weeks

Flyingcursor · Post by **Flyingcursor** » Tue Aug 26, 2008 1:19 pm

As part of my ongoing crises with the approach of the half century mark I have decided I want to get in really, really, really good shape by my birthday in 26 weeks. I'm not talking about just losing weight and getting good legs from bike riding. I'm talking ripped!
Well, maybe not "ripped" as in musclebound but noticably muscularer then I am now.

My question. Is 23 weeks enough?
Should I seek the guidence of an athletic trainer to obtain the most for my time? Should I use a gym/fitness center or go it alone with freeweights and lots of bike riding and (gasp) running?
Should I buy a Chuck Norris exercise machine?

Most important, is it physiologically doable?

djm · Post by **djm** » Tue Aug 26, 2008 2:04 pm

A weakling weighing ninety-eight pounds
Will get sand in his face
When kicked to the ground
And soon in the gym
With a determined chin
The sweat from his pores
As he works for his cause
Will make him glisten
And gleam, and with massage
And just a little bit of steam
He'll be pink and quite clean
He'll be a strong man
Oh, honey!

But the wrong man

He'll eat nutritious, high protein
And swallow raw eggs
Try to build up his shoulders
His chest, arms, and legs
Such an effort
If he only knew of my plan
In just seven days

I can make you a man

He'll do press-ups and chin-ups
Do the snatch, clean, and jerk
He thinks dynamic tension
Must be hard work
Such strenuous living
I just don't understand
When in just seven days
Oh, baby
I can make you a man

<A TARGET="NEW" HREF="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8yWvx56 ... /04/1b.jpg[/img]</A>

djm

jsluder · Post by **jsluder** » Tue Aug 26, 2008 2:18 pm

s1m0n · Post by **s1m0n** » Tue Aug 26, 2008 2:35 pm

23 weeks? I can get ripped in a couple of hours!

sbfluter · Post by **sbfluter** » Tue Aug 26, 2008 3:19 pm

You should probably have guidance from some kind of personal trainer. Of course, this is advice I would never take myself. But it seems like the right thing to do.

Joseph E. Smith · Post by **Joseph E. Smith** » Tue Aug 26, 2008 4:14 pm

23 weeks sounds like it would be a great start toward getting yourself in great shape, but do not try to get "ripped" by that time. Asking too much of a body will do more harm than good. Now, of course, not being a pro athlete nor Phy/ed teacher, I cannot say with authority what is good and what is not.

But...

Do seek out a professional fitness trainer and consult them regarding how you ought to proceed.

The very best of luck, and results to you Flydood!

mutepointe · Post by **mutepointe** » Tue Aug 26, 2008 5:06 pm

I once heard someone on the radio, who was talking against fad diets and stuff say, "What makes you think your body is different from anyone else?"

The Weekenders · Post by **The Weekenders** » Tue Aug 26, 2008 5:06 pm

nah, it's too late. Yer not gonna add ripples now. You shoulda bulit the mass when you had the chance. All you can do now is firm up what you got. Just go to the local Y with the new various weight machines, etc. Or start bucking hay, hauling concrete bags and other unpleasant physical tasks that civilized people work to avoid. Good luck on your back, ankles and knees. They'll need it.

Signed, the muscular-from-yute Weekender. Gee, I sound dark. Oh well, reality's a biotch.

PS. It's a great goal, though, to want to drink to our health in a better state than now. I admire you. Don't let me discourage you. Nyuk.

jkwest · Post by **jkwest** » Tue Aug 26, 2008 5:23 pm

s1m0n wrote:23 weeks? I can get ripped in a couple of hours!

Yeah...I heard the Canadian pot is horrible...

djm · Post by **djm** » Tue Aug 26, 2008 6:35 pm

jkwest wrote:Yeah...I heard the Canadian pot is horrible...

It's certainly hard enough to get rid of once you've got it.

djm

emmline · Post by **emmline** » Tue Aug 26, 2008 6:59 pm

Firstly, I love Slude's comic.
"Say!" and "Hang it!" and "This will teach you manners! (pow!)"

That's how I picked my hubby, lemme tell you.
("Listen! I dance the way I please!" what a turn on.)

Secondly, I think looking anywhere near "ripped" is probably only possible for full-time Michael Phelpsian careerists...if indeed it can be achieved at middle age. Weeks may be right.

I recently bought an elliptical trainer. Now I turn myself red as a old-timey firetruck on the thing almost daily. Plugging the iPod in on shuffle makes it tolerable, but it's a durn sight better than any stationary bike or treadmill I've ever tried out. Nice overall piece of equipment.

Sometimes the lazy 16 year old kid rides it no-handed while playing team, interactive Resistance: Fall of Man on the PS3. I figure that's better than nothing. The girls are a little more serious and do the "hill" workout.
So, it's been a family-friendly purchase.

Mainly I want bones, energy, and to minimize the belly's hifalutin' notions about adding to its real-estate.

dubhlinn · Post by **dubhlinn** » Tue Aug 26, 2008 7:07 pm

emmline wrote:
Mainly I want bones, energy, and to minimize the belly's hifalutin' notions about adding to its real-estate.

You're starting to sound like a fifty year old....

Slan,
D.

emmline · Post by **emmline** » Tue Aug 26, 2008 7:28 pm

dubhlinn wrote:
emmline wrote:
Mainly I want bones, energy, and to minimize the belly's hifalutin' notions about adding to its real-estate.
You're starting to sound like a fifty year old....

Slan,
D.

I would reply that it seems to be looming faster and faster, but I've already reached terminal velocity, I think. Let's see...my brother's next birthday in '09...then my sis, '10...and in '11...

Well, we won't think about that. My birthday's in December.

mukade · Post by **mukade** » Tue Aug 26, 2008 7:34 pm

Chuck Norris doesn't get ripped...he does the ripping.

Mukade

Joseph E. Smith · Post by **Joseph E. Smith** » Tue Aug 26, 2008 7:39 pm

It's still possible to get ripped at 50, it just takes an eternity longer.