poems to make Dale cringe

[Walden]

This is a thread for posting poems that might make Dale cringe. They need not be your own.

[Walden]

Roses are red
Violets are purple
Sugar is sweet
And so is syr'ple.

--author unknown

[Dale]

Go ahead. Have your fun. But, remember, I edit poetry as a pastime. I have a steady supply of poems that make me cringe.

[I.D.10-t]

Love is like a door hinge
Flexible yet binding
Love is like an orange
Its juice is sweet yet blinding

Wow!
I'm a poet and didn't even think it
I make a rhyme any day!

[I.D.10-t]

snip and a hair cut
the wind carries golden locks
twenty five pennies

[Innocent Bystander]

Futility Closet only seems to print cringeworthy poems.

Here are two of the most recent.

I lately lost a preposition;
It hid, I thought, beneath my chair
And angrily I cried, "Perdition!
Up from out of under there."
Correctness is my vade mecum,
And straggling phrases I abhor,
And yet I wondered, "What should he come
Up from out of under for?"

– Morris Bishop

I have tried a hundred times, I guess,
To find a rhyme for month;
I have failed a hundred times, I know,
But succeeded the hundred and one-th.

There were two men a training went.
It was in December month;
One had his bayonet thrown away,
The other had his gun th-
rown away.

[djm]

I am a poet
My feet show it
They're Longfellows



djm

[Doug_Tipple]

My Cat Is So Cute

My cat is so cute,
She jumps and plays, T-boot.
Endless fascination, the furry rabbit,
She bites it incessantly, crazy cat.

My cat is so cute,
Unfortunately she hates my flute.
Tearing through the house she goes,
Hiding in the closet, poor cat.

[dwest]

Frustration

If I had a shiny gun,
I could have a world of fun
Speeding bullets through the brains
Of the folk who give me pains;

Or had I some poison gas,
I could make the moments pass
Bumping off a number of
People whom I do not love.

But I have no lethal weapon-
Thus does Fate our pleasure step on!
So they still are quick and well
Who should be, by rights, in hell.

Dorothy Parker

[Jack]

Chicken mitten
Yellow daisy
Snakebite
Infected cat

[dwest]

My Muse
came to
my room
last night
and told
me I
couldn't write
so with
pencil and
paper in
hand
I wrote
her out
of my
room again.

[dubhlinn]

While reading the Lords literary regalia,
I found written in the marginalia,
I've a pain in me bum
me thumb is gone numb,
When's the next Crusade to Australia?

Sorry,
D.

[Walden]

Cabbages, cabbages
Yum yum yum
Cabbages, cabbages
Gimme some!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_ro3G-2eP4

[fearfaoin]

A rhyme for "Orange"
My coworker sought.
Our job, being boring,
Gave him time for such thought.

He realized that rhymes
Don't have to end lines
So he infixed some phrases
And pondered for dayses

And just as Friday nears,
A quaint phrase hits our ears:
He yells, "Four engineers
Wear orange brassiers!"

[Bloomfield]

As I am sure you are not surprised to learn there is a nearly endless supply of perfectly horrid cat poetry on the internet. These are just the first two that came up.

Cat Kisses

Sandpaper kisses
on a cheek or a chin-
that is the way
for a day to begin!

Sandpaper kisses-
a cuddle and a purr.
I have an alarm clock
that's covered in fur!

~ Bobbi Katz ~


Thomas o' Malley

Thomas o' Malley is a ginger tabby
with sleek body that's not flabby
He was somehow, by persons unknown,
discarded, but with us found a home.
He has lazy green eyes and pink nose
always sitting in comfortable pose.

Thomas is not just an ordinary good cat,
at times he's worse than a stinking rat.
He talks to his human in various sounds
as they, in the garden, do their rounds.
He has his comments and criticisms
of the layout, watering and schisms.

Thomas is a connoiseur* and taster of food
as he'll not eat if not in the right mood.
He looks with disdain on the other cats
as they scramble for cookie rats.
He'll have fish biscuits, if you please,
not on the floor in the dirt and fleas.

~ Dr. J A Vorster ~

* sic