gonzo914 wrote:Quite so, anniemcu, quite so. Perhaps in the future, I will leave the doily on the elephant, and we can pretend it isn't there.
I'll donate a lovely hand-crocheted doily. Later, over a nice pint, we can debate the differences between an elephant and a molehill.
anniemcu
--- "You are what you do, not what you claim to believe." -Gene A. Statler
--- "Olé to you, none-the-less!" - Elizabeth Gilbert
--- http://www.sassafrassgrove.com
gonzo914 wrote:Perhaps in the future, I will leave the doily on the elephant, and we can pretend it isn't there.
Is anyone pretending anything?
We all know Cranberry very well. Is there something you would like to tell us that would actually serve a purpose?
If he annoys you, that's a personal problem of your own. If someone else seems to need attention, does that somehow make you unhappy? Do you feel threatened by that? Did you have trouble with your siblings getting all the attention?
gonzo914 wrote:Perhaps in the future, I will leave the doily on the elephant, and we can pretend it isn't there.
Is anyone pretending anything?
We all know Cranberry very well. Is there something you would like to tell us that would actually serve a purpose?
If he annoys you, that's a personal problem of your own. If someone else seems to need attention, does that somehow make you unhappy? Do you feel threatened by that? Did you have trouble with your siblings getting all the attention?
Best wishes,
Jerry
I actually did mean to apologize (because I actually do have a problem with passive-aggressiveness), and not seek attention, though now it has occured to me I can't say anything else and not, in the process, still seek attention. Sorry. I'm working on that, too.
Everyone needs a certain amount of attention. Some people need more, some people need less. That's part of what it means to be human.
The important thing is, HOW does one go about getting his or her daily attention quota filled?
Some ways of getting attention are dysfunctional and perpetuate conflict; some ways of getting attention are more or less neutral and serve the purpose without creating ongoing problems. I'm being careful here to refer to ongoing problems and perpetuating conflict because some conflict is not only inevitable; under the right circumstances it can be a context for growth.
I think the question isn't whether posting something will attract attention to oneself. That's perfectly OK. The question is whether the specific thing posted will move the process towards something positive or whether it will contribute to a dysfunctional kind of noise that doesn't seem to go anywhere.
Often, it isn't possible to predict where a contemplated comment or posting will lead until others have reacted. Then, after others have reacted, there are often places where one can choose to take the exchange towards something positive or further into dysfunction.
Also, there are mildly dysfunctional exchanges (like some of the back and forth in some of our threads) and seriously dysfunctional exchanges (like, oh maybe, the situation in the Middle East.).
Best wishes,
Jerry
Last edited by Jerry Freeman on Wed Nov 14, 2007 3:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Cran, I took your post as being a genuine effort to recognize a trait you want to change in yourself. Though i don't think 'Passive/Aggressive' is how i would have characterized your posts, it is always a good thing to consider how something relates to what we do ourselves. Good for you.
anniemcu
--- "You are what you do, not what you claim to believe." -Gene A. Statler
--- "Olé to you, none-the-less!" - Elizabeth Gilbert
--- http://www.sassafrassgrove.com
anniemcu wrote:Cran, I took your post as being a genuine effort to recognize a trait you want to change in yourself. Though i don't think 'Passive/Aggressive' is how i would have characterized your posts, it is always a good thing to consider how something relates to what we do ourselves. Good for you.
Jerry Freeman wrote:Did you have trouble with your siblings getting all the attention?
You know, I'm only half kidding here.
For ages, I've been watching Gonzo and Lambchop following Cranberry around, suffering enthusiastically over the fact that Cranberry always gets all the attention.
anniemcu
--- "You are what you do, not what you claim to believe." -Gene A. Statler
--- "Olé to you, none-the-less!" - Elizabeth Gilbert
--- http://www.sassafrassgrove.com
I'll donate a lovely hand-crocheted doily. Later, over a nice pint, we can debate the differences between an elephant and a molehill. 
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