Urology: A Short Essay by Dale Wisely

[crookedtune]

We might could pass a law agin it.

[gonzo914]

...which would be reassuring in the event anything needs removed.

Because this thread is only getting worse, I shall ask a linguistics
question. This "needs removed" is interesting. I would have said
"needs to be removed", or "needs removing", but somehow it's
getting more common to forgo the "to be" when using the "-ed"
form of the verb after "needs".

e.g., "This tire needs pumped up," or "My cat needs spayed."

I first encountered this in the speech of an Ohioan who had just
moved to NC, but years later I'm hearing it more and more. Is it
regional? How can it most effeciently be fought? It needs stamped
out.

According to this article, the usage is seen among engineers and scientists, Midwesterners, Pennsylvanians, and Scots, to which I would add "people facing the prospect of having something removed from their nether regions" and "folks who need to be scanned with a metal detector prior to certain invasive procedures so as to ensure the doctor does not prick her finger."

[Jeferson]

http://www.ijusthadarectalexamonline.com

[Wombat]

Actually, they CAN diagnose prostate problems without the digital exam using ultrasound, CAT scans etc. However, those are FAR more costly, and the DRE is amazingly effective.

There's a bit of a debate going on in medical circles in Australia about scans. To cut a long story short—if only to show I can—scans pick up signs of early trouble, much earlier than space probes, so can save serious treatment later. The downside is that scans also deliver loads of false positives, so people who don't really need treatment get it and have to suffer side effects. Swings and roundabouts I guess.

[Wombat]

Finally, without going into detail, sometimes a test such as this can trigger responses that can be quite embarrassing enough without your doctor being an attractive lady.

The very thought of such things makes me feel both uncomfortable and a bit paranoid.

/me shudders....

--James

There's the mildy embarrassing response and the very embarrassing response. But I won't go into details either. Except to say how ironic it is that German businessmen go to Amsterdam and pay for the kind of experience you find embarrassing.

[Joseph E. Smith]

...which would be reassuring in the event anything needs removed.

Because this thread is only getting worse, I shall ask a linguistics
question. This "needs removed" is interesting. I would have said
"needs to be removed", or "needs removing", but somehow it's
getting more common to forgo the "to be" when using the "-ed"
form of the verb after "needs".

e.g., "This tire needs pumped up," or "My cat needs spayed."

I first encountered this in the speech of an Ohioan who had just
moved to NC, but years later I'm hearing it more and more. Is it
regional? How can it most effeciently be fought? It needs stamped
out.

OK, this is the third time I've wet 'em. Anybody want to sell me their Ark?

[scheky]

I had a female Doc give me my exam once (my doctor was sick that day). Let me tell you how fun it was.

First, due to the laws, she had to call in a Nurse as a witness. Oh BOY! SPECTATORS!!! WOOT!!!!

Then, when she finished, she said "Ok Mr XXXX, you can get dressed now". MR? MR? HELL, she knows me better than my wife. You would think after that we would be on a first name basis or something.

[Cynth]

...For another thing, for whatever reason, women are not sympathetic at all to men regarding this kind of test. Rather, they seem almost to...well...to gloat about it, and to sort of rejoice that we had to experience it.

(Edited to note that Annie's post came in while I was composing this post. See her post for an example of what I mean. )....

--James

I didn't think annie was gloating. She was just being informative. Although I do honestly very deeply sympathize with anyone who has to have a finger shoved up his or her rear end, my first thought was the same as hers, like "You are just discovering this unpleasantness now????"

...which would be reassuring in the event anything needs removed.

Because this thread is only getting worse, I shall ask a linguistics
question. This "needs removed" is interesting. I would have said
"needs to be removed", or "needs removing", but somehow it's
getting more common to forgo the "to be" when using the "-ed"
form of the verb after "needs".

e.g., "This tire needs pumped up," or "My cat needs spayed."

I first encountered this in the speech of an Ohioan who had just
moved to NC, but years later I'm hearing it more and more. Is it
regional? How can it most effeciently be fought? It needs stamped
out.

I noticed that too. I first heard this sort of speech when I moved to Iowa to marry my husband. He had been living here quite a while but we both come from California. He is a scientist. He will say "Flora wants petted." for example. I have not really noticed other people talking like this. I don't get out much though.

[Denny]

I just pet the fauna...

California

[Jack]

Why are there no female urologists? I'd certainly go to one if I could find one.

I saw one. They thought I had cancer once, and I requested a woman to do my exam, because I didn't feel comfortable with a man I didn't love touching me down there.

She also had to call in a nurse as a witness.

[hyldemoer]

They can put a man on the moon
but they can't come up with a way
to check for an enlarged prostate
without sticking a finger up my
or Neil Armstrong's butt.

The examination done with a finger is the least expensive option.

I take it that the guys here would prefer the expenses of a yearly MRI instead?

[FJohnSharp]

THINKING ABOUT THE SPACE PROGRAM
WHILE LEAVING THE UROLOGIST'S OFFICE

They can put a man on the moon
but they can't come up with a way
to check for an enlarged prostate
without sticking a finger up my
or Neil Armstrong's butt.

The End

While I have come
to accept the occasional finger
up my butt for medical reasons,
I am most insistent that
said finger must
not have just been
up Neil Armstrong's butt too.


(What a cool idea for RHP--a Neil Armstrong's Butt issue. )

[fel bautista]

...the usage is seen among engineers and ...

From my experience as an engineer, it assumes that engineers can write something that is not jargon filled and hard to read. Usually need to edit other peoples writing for grammar and tense fluctuations. I think I would have done well as a copy editor in an alternate universe.

edited more than once since I messed up the italics, the quote and the bold buttons

[fearfaoin]

...the usage is seen among engineers and ...

From my experience as an engineer, it assumes that engineers

write

something that is not jargon filled and hard to read.

What a ... demonstrative post.

[fel bautista]

I guess its the start of an interesting day.