Very Funny....
- HampshireWhistler
- Posts: 166
- Joined: Sat Feb 11, 2006 8:19 am
- Please enter the next number in sequence: 1
- Location: New Hampshire
Very Funny....
Southern Grandma
Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they aren't
prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first
witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand.
He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me? She responded,
"Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a
young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie,
you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them
behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the
brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit
paper pusher. "Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes, I do I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He
can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is
one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his
wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know
him."
The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counselors to
approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you
idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair."
Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they aren't
prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first
witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand.
He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me? She responded,
"Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a
young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie,
you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them
behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the
brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit
paper pusher. "Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes, I do I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He
can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is
one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his
wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know
him."
The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counselors to
approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you
idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair."
- HampshireWhistler
- Posts: 166
- Joined: Sat Feb 11, 2006 8:19 am
- Please enter the next number in sequence: 1
- Location: New Hampshire
- Innocent Bystander
- Posts: 6816
- Joined: Wed Aug 03, 2005 12:51 pm
- antispam: No
- Location: Directly above the centre of the Earth (UK)
- Cynth
- Posts: 6703
- Joined: Tue Nov 30, 2004 4:58 pm
- Please enter the next number in sequence: 1
- Location: Iowa, USA
I think there was only the one comment that was not too friendly. Aren't all the others good-humored? Surely they are. I think you need another cup of coffee, djm . I haven't had mine yet so maybe I'm confused....djm wrote:I seem to recall seeing this joke on this forum before. I don't recall seeing such nastiness from the rest of you, though.
djm
Diligentia maximum etiam mediocris ingeni subsidium. ~ Diligence is a very great help even to a mediocre intelligence.----Seneca
- anniemcu
- Posts: 8024
- Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2003 8:42 pm
- antispam: No
- Please enter the next number in sequence: 10
- Location: A little left of center, and 100 miles from St. Louis
- Contact:
I aspire to be that grandma.
anniemcu
---
"You are what you do, not what you claim to believe." -Gene A. Statler
---
"Olé to you, none-the-less!" - Elizabeth Gilbert
---
http://www.sassafrassgrove.com
---
"You are what you do, not what you claim to believe." -Gene A. Statler
---
"Olé to you, none-the-less!" - Elizabeth Gilbert
---
http://www.sassafrassgrove.com
- Joseph E. Smith
- Posts: 13780
- Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2004 2:40 pm
- antispam: No
- Location: ... who cares?...
- Contact: