OT: Haiku Help, coffee granules

Martin Milner · Post by **Martin Milner** » Thu Oct 10, 2002 5:15 am

We have many fine poets on this site, and I was wondering if any of you could help me with a poem about spilt coffee.

We have a communal kitchen with tea and coffee making facilities in my office. Unfortunately, some folks think it's OK to spill coffee granules everywhere, including in the sugar, leave sticky spoons lying about, leave sticky sugar rings on the surfaces, and generally be slobs.

I thought it would be quite nice to post up some poems to try to discourage this antisocial behaviour (I know I'm barking at the back of the bus, but I have to try to improve my environment). A haiku might fit the bill, but a limerick or other poem would do just as well.

Any offers?

My feeble effort:

The Coffee Drinker's Lament

I drink instant coffee, every morning and all day,
I spill the granules everywhere but by me that's OK,
We have daily cleaners who come in to mop the spills,
I'll keep them in employment and help to pay their bills.

My fellow office workers won't really give a stuff,
Even if that Martin Milner gets himself into a huff,
I like to be a coffee slob, I leave the milk out too,
I was brought up in a barn, and was born in a zoo.

The End

Now don't be telling me you folks can't improve on that!

_________________
MCM Transatlantic Whistle Detective Agency - no case too small.
Branches in London and Salt Lake City

[ This Message was edited by: Martin Milner on 2002-10-10 11:31 ]

Walden · Post by **Walden** » Thu Oct 10, 2002 6:29 am

Coffee granules spilt
Agitate Martin Milner
No one seems to mind

TomB · Post by **TomB** » Thu Oct 10, 2002 6:49 am

coffee all scattered about
will kind hands come to clean a sad counter?

I know, I know, totally lame.

All the Best, Tom

aderyn_du · Post by **aderyn_du** » Thu Oct 10, 2002 7:25 am

My extremely feeble attempt, done on only one cup of coffee:

Messy Coffee Drinkers Haiku
spilt coffee granules
messy sticky rings and goop
Martin M. fed up

or even worse:

Kitchen Lament
There once was a communal kitchen
Whose instant coffee really was bitchin'.
But Martin's one woe,
Was his slovenly foes,
Who refused to wipe up that which was stickin'.

Please, no rotten fruit...

In laughter,
Andrea ~*~

edited for missing syllable

[ This Message was edited by: aderyn_cyrdd on 2002-10-10 10:59 ]

Caoimhin · Post by **Caoimhin** » Thu Oct 10, 2002 8:50 am

Spill spill instant coffee,
Bills bills for thee,
Cut cut your salary,
So you won't be merry.

markv · Post by **markv** » Thu Oct 10, 2002 9:15 am

One hundredth posting
to give aid to one in need
gives life much purpose

Stir sticks cast aside
Coffee found in the sugar
Causes Martin pain

Sticky counter top
Stir stick coffee rings abound
Trash bin sits unused

Give me a moment
the work day pases slowly
more wisdom will come

Mark V.

note for the wise one
haiku contest is needed
it has been too long

TomB · Post by **TomB** » Thu Oct 10, 2002 9:38 am

coffee spilled
wet dirty sticks
milky sticky puddles
coffee pot gone

jim stone · Post by **jim stone** » Thu Oct 10, 2002 10:39 am

Blue sky,
The autumn sun,
and yet...
spilled coffee granules.

That'll get em!

thurlowe · Post by **thurlowe** » Thu Oct 10, 2002 10:50 am

How about:

Coffee all day long
a privilege to savor
let's clean up shall we

I started a limerick, but I couldn't get past "There once was a hard working office"

I like all of the entries so far!

Walden · Post by **Walden** » Thu Oct 10, 2002 11:12 am

On 2002-10-10 12:50, thurlowe wrote:

I started a limerick, but I couldn't get past "There once was a hard working office"

Here's my attempt at finishing it for you:

There once was a hard working office,
With cleanliness skills of a novice,
Coffee grounds ev'rywhere
Making Martin despair
Of the kitchen at work being flawless.

LeeMarsh · Post by **LeeMarsh** » Thu Oct 10, 2002 11:34 am

Martin,

Maybe rather than a poem, perhaps you could publish the following general solicitation...


<hr>Attention Mice:
Martin has gratiously
conscented to play
"Mouse in the Cupboard"
on high-g Irish whistle,
(yes the same one
that cracked
the kitties' water dish).

In his aggitated
maybe delusional state,
he believes that playing over
the coffee grounds and sugar mix
that has created such lovely
circular spots on the counter,
will make the rings
rise off the surface
and race to the drain.

Dear Mice, the Anti-Deafness League
appreciates any preemptive removal
of the targeted coffee granuals,
sticky cup rings,
and wet tea bag splotches.

Precious Mice, thank you
for you cooperation,
apparently the critters
that created said targets
are all ready deaf.
<hr>

At the very least you could get an opportunity to play and ...

_________________

Enjoy Your Music, Lee Marsh 

[ This Message was edited by: LeeMarsh on 2002-10-10 13:37 ]

thurlowe · Post by **thurlowe** » Thu Oct 10, 2002 11:49 am

On 2002-10-10 13:12, Walden wrote:
On 2002-10-10 12:50, thurlowe wrote:

I started a limerick, but I couldn't get past "There once was a hard working office"
Here's my attempt at finishing it for you:

There once was a hard working office,
With cleanliness skills of a novice,
Coffee grounds ev'rywhere
Making Martin despair
Of the kitchen at work being flawless.

Bravo! Thank you, Walden.

[ This Message was edited by: thurlowe on 2002-10-10 15:08 ]

markv · Post by **markv** » Thu Oct 10, 2002 2:59 pm

Depending on the frustration level you may just want to skip to the last two.

Despair of the mess
Coffee pot will disappear
Clean up thy own spills

All I would ask is
That you treat this space as if
Mother could show up

Judging by the mess
I shudder to imagine
The state of your homes

How simple life is
When lived so much like a pig
I envy your sloth

New place will be found
To put your wet stiring stick
You will not like it

Do you hear the screams
Of those who are not tidy?
Persist and you will

Mark V

Kaolin · Post by **Kaolin** » Thu Oct 10, 2002 5:18 pm

Hi Folks,

I have been lurking for a while but for some reason haven't introduced myself. I think you guys are great and I look forward to reading it each day. I wondered what it would take to finally get me to surface. I have restrained myself from getting involved in both the spats and the eloquent attempts at peace. But to be given an opportunity to address this apparently international ring of communal kitchen messer-uppers was more than I could resist. You will soon discover that though I am not a paticularly good poet, I don't mind embarrassing myself for a cause. If possible, the title may be even more lame than the poem.

Michael

"Grounds" for Divorce

When sugar grains and coffee grounds and sticky spoons are found.

The fingers start to pointing, turning smiles into frowns.

Do be careful who is watching, for I know this to be true.

Your mess might make some angry, but it mostly speaks of you!

AnnaDMartinez · Post by **AnnaDMartinez** » Thu Oct 10, 2002 5:52 pm

a

coma

coffee grounds

on sticky

counter

not in

Martin's cup

Oy, is he pissed!

Snerk!