Torture the Moderator!

[reedbiter]

ALRIGHT!!! Shall we see just how quickly we can get this thread locked?!

It's the new game that's sweeping the nation, all your friends are playing it! Now you too can become part of the action with the new ONLINE version! Yes, now available from RONCO, the online version of TORTURE THJE MODERATOR!!

Have you ever been enjoying a thread, only to find that "Mr. Smith" (Come on Mr. Smith, are we really supposed to believe that's your REAL name??!) has once again LOCKED the thread??

Have you ever wondered just how many weird avatars our own Mr. Smith actually has?

WELL!! Now, you too can have your very own piece of revenge! All you have to do is to post your very own non-malicious, humourous story regarding Mr. Smith. Alternatively, you can post a brand new goofy avatar of Mr. Smith (for his own private use). And in return I shall send you a private, detailed photograph of Mr. SMith's BRAND NEW set of Uilleann Pipes! It is then up to YOU, the viewing audience, whether tyo share that picture with Mr. Smith...or NOT (thus allowing you some anti-thread-locking leverage and/or revenge!)

[Nanohedron]

JES is on his own. I'm off to play for some stepdancers - torture enough, thank you.

Ta ta.

[Joseph E. Smith]

You devilish monkey you!

[rorybbellows]

Will you two please get a room!!






RORY

[tommykleen]

All you have to do is to post your very own non-malicious, humourous story regarding Mr. Smith.

Humorous stories? You mean like the time Timmy fell down the well and Joe fashioned a simple rope of braided opposum tails and saved the day?

or

the time when Joe and a friend were sky diving and the friend's 'chute failed to open and Joe inflated one of his own kidneys and the friend floated to safety?

or was it the time...

Joe and me were trapped by floodwaters and surrounded by 'gators? And Joe (always handy and enterprising) created a lifelike effigy of a wounded manatee (the alligator's preferred meal) out of nothing more than some Arundo dust and raccoon dung? Hence (the gators taken in by this ruse) I lived to tell the tale?

Well, if those are the 'humourous' stories you are looking for, well, hardy, har har!

T

[djm]

Perhaps Reedbiter is looking for something a bit more scandalous; stories of JES's checkered past. Like the time in Minnesota with the purple wig an\\\\\\ ... @@##cat in a******* wit((((====== ... ))))))urse you, J&^^^%%*mith!

dj>>>>>>>>

[Mike Hulme]

Joe inflated one of his own kidneys and the friend floated to safety


How do you tie in a kidney? Is it the same as tying in a mainstock?

Is there a doctor in the house?

[reedbiter]

..so I'm simply just not that cold hearted...

[rgouette]

or, the time I heard he alow wha o hi stom h hit w th sh t
oh man, that musta been a hoot!

[snoogie]

How about the time that JES came over to make some reeds and at least a 12 pack of Guiness and a bottle of Tullamore Dew later...I think one working reed came out of it. I sorta lost interest in making reeds along the way...

That is one heck ofa beautiful set! Wow, I can't wait to come to FL and check it out.

-g

P.S. Not sure about Kidneys, but my liver may never be the same

[gregorygraham]

Could that be a four drone half set?

Hubba, hubba. . . .

[misterpatrick]

Any more pics you want to post Davey, like maybe of a very similar set.

Hmmm, good Joe stories.... I do remember a joke he told No E and myself that went on and on and on.

And on.

The pinnacle of shaggy dog tales, I tell ya. I can't remember the joke itself, but do recollect that it was possibly the longest joke, and I tell some long ones, I have ever heard. And to top it all off it had the worst payoff in joke history. There's a half hour of my life I'll never get back.

So more of a warning than a story. When cornered by a tipsy JES, do not under any circumstances ask him if he knows any jokes.

You've been warned.

PS I think it had something to do with drugs, prostitutes and a leprechaun. No, seriously.

[Joseph E. Smith]

How about the time that JES came over to make some reeds and at least a 12 pack of Guiness and a bottle of Tullamore Dew later...I think one working reed came out of it. I sorta lost interest in making reeds along the way...

That is one heck ofa beautiful set! Wow, I can't wait to come to FL and check it out.

-g

P.S. Not sure about Kidneys, but my liver may never be the same

So that's what happened at my reed making workshop! Thanks for the memory Snoogs! Now I can fill the wife in about that missing day.

Hmmm, good Joe stories.... I do remember a joke he told No E and myself that went on and on and on.

And on.

...

So more of a warning than a story. When cornered by a tipsy JES, do not under any circumstances ask him if he knows any jokes.

You've been warned.

PS I think it had something to do with drugs, prostitutes and a leprechaun. No, seriously.

I can't think of a good joke that doesn't have these elements, plus golf, in them.


Wow Davy, that looks very, very nice. I can have fun messing around with the extra drone which'll keep me amused until the regs are finished.

[John O'Gara]

Joseph:

I think Dave should send the pipes to me in Michigan to sort of slowly "climatize" them on their way down south.

No need to thank me, it would be the least I could do given all that you've done for the board!

Really nice work there Dave!

So, what do you think Joseph? (Remember you are the moderator! )

[Joseph E. Smith]

Joseph:

I think Dave should send the pipes to me in Michigan to sort of slowly "climatize" them on their way down south.

No need to thank me, it would be the least I could do given all that you've done for the board!

Really nice work there Dave!

You sir, are a gentleman. But I must decline your generous offer to aid with the climatizing of my drones. Nice try however.

So, what do you think Joseph? (Remember you are the moderator! )

From what I can see, I think they're cocobolo, boxwood and brass with matching bellows.