My name is Joseph E. Smith, and I am a coke addict.

[Joseph E. Smith]

I really do not know where to begin here, but I have gotten this far so I can't stop now I guess.

For years now, I have been battling an addiction to coke... caffeine free, diet coke. It's gotten to the point where every extra dollar... and then some... goes toward scoring my next, refreshingly crisp 16 oz. fix.

My wife can nolonger bear to talk at me, she says it's like "... taking to the bottom of a coke bottle" each time she tries to. I am so embarassed, and I don't know what to do or where to turn.

Help?



PS: Pepsi products are so way out of the question.

[Coffee]

May I suggest Irn Bru to curb your cravings?

[Lambchop]

Joseph, I shocked by this egregious violation of the "no medical posts" policy. Shame on you.

Hmpf. You don't see me drinking that stuff . . . bleah! Tastes like tinfoil. Oooh! Time for another cup of tea.

[Walden]

Here's something I read about on Snopes. The Coca-Cola logo kinda looks like a guy with a Popeye the Sailor Man chin, and a hat, reaching up to snort some coke.

[Lambchop]

Dang! Walden! I wish you hadn't done that. I'll never be able to look at that logo again without seeing Popeye.

[Innocent Bystander]

My wife used to be a coke addict. I have done my best to encourage her in the pleasures of tea, and even coffee, but nothing has "taken". She has passed her addiction on to my son, who is now also a coke addict. She herself has moved on to the hard stuff - Pepsi Max.

The Fridge is full of the stuff. It's getting hard to fit the odd bottle of beer in there.

[missy]

Diet Coke - but WITH Caffeine......

[Tony]

From the economy standpoint...

I suggest you switch to 2 liter bottles. Those cans of soda have got to be more expensive.

[BigDavy]

May I suggest Irn Bru to curb your cravings?

I'm with you Cofaidh.

David

[emmline]

A) I can so not make that CocaCola insignia look like Pop-eye.

B) What the heck is Pepsi Max?

[peeplj]

I still drink the things but have cut way back.

For one thing, we keep more diet drinks than regular in the house now, and I despise diet soft drinks--absolutely nasty. Blech!

Also, we don't keep 'em cold in the fridge anymore--and we DO keep cold water and the odd concoction of Krystal Light made up and cold.

Finally, in the mornings why settle for less when you can have the best? We have a French press and a coffee grinder. 'Nuff said.

--James

P.S. Teachers are so often the very cause of what they try to prevent. When in grade school, a substitute teacher--I have no clue what her name was at this late date--seeking no doubt to be helpful, pointed out to the class that you should drink a glass of water first thing each morning to "lubricate your intestines."

It was YEARS before I could drink plain water after that.

[Joseph E. Smith]

A) I can so not make that CocaCola insignia look like Pop-eye.

B) What the heck is Pepsi Max?

a). Me neither.

b). A Pepsi manufactured feminine napkin?

[emmline]

Finally, in the mornings why settle for less when you can have the best? We have a French press and a coffee grinder. 'Nuff said.

I know. Who needs lubricated intestines when you can have fresh java?

[emmline]

B) What the heck is Pepsi Max?

b). A Pepsi manufactured feminine napkin?

Or maybe the pop-artist daughter of Peter, named in the Zappa tradition.
(I imagine if there were such a girl, she'd go all reactionary and start painting like Andrew Wyeth.)

edit because I type fast and dumb.

[Joseph E. Smith]

B) What the heck is Pepsi Max?

b). A Pepsi manufactured feminine napkin?

Or maybe the pop-artist daughter of Peter, named in the Zappa tradition.
(I imagine if there were just a girl, she'd go all reactionary and start painting like Andrew Wyeth.)

I could live with that.