Great big gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts

bradhurley · Post by **bradhurley** » Thu Jul 06, 2006 8:01 am

I saw a news item that mentioned the words "monkey meat" and suddenly, after more than 30 years this song that we used to sing in primary school came floating up out of the depths of my memory:

"Great big gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat,
Saturated chicken fat

Great big gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts,
That's what we eat at school!"

And then that reminded me of all the silly songs we used to sing as kids, like this one

"Comet
It tastes like gas-o-line,
Comet
It makes your face turn green
Comet
It makes you vomit
So eat some Comet
And vomit
Today!"

Or this well-known classic, sung to the Battle Hymn of the Republic (I've heard lots of different regional variations on this song, everyone has their own version):

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school
we have tortured every teacher, we have broken every rule
We made a proclamation to the Board of Education
and that was the end of school

Glory, glory Hallelujah,
Teacher hit me with a ruler,
Shot her at the door with a loaded 44
and that was the end of school

[this was decades before Columbine, so you could sing stuff like that and nobody paid any attention].

So what other sing-on-the-bus ditties do you remember from your school days?

avanutria · Post by **avanutria** » Thu Jul 06, 2006 8:05 am

My cousin taught me his version at the bus stop years ago:

Great green globs of greasy, grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat,
Little dirty birdie feet

Great green globs of greasy, grimy gopher guts,
And I forgot my spoon"

He also knew one where part of the chorus was "suffocation, hyperventilation" and the verses featured various nasty acts. Great one for the songs, my cousin..

Years before that, when I started going to school in the town of Ronkonkoma in Long Island, I was taught this one:

From the shores of Lake Ronkonkoma to the walls of New York Bay
We will fight our teacher's battles with spitballs and some clay.
We will fight for no more homework
and to keep our desks a mess,
We will gladly claim the title of our teachers' Little Pests.

...it is to a well known tune but I can't think of what the real one is called.

Jack · Post by **Jack** » Thu Jul 06, 2006 8:07 am

I've never heard those before!

carrie · Post by **carrie** » Thu Jul 06, 2006 8:07 am

Another spoonless moment:

The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out,
The worms play pinochle on your snout,
And pus comes out like whipping cream...
And me without my spoon.

Carol

bradhurley · Post by **bradhurley** » Thu Jul 06, 2006 8:12 am

The worms remind me of:

"Nobody likes me, everybody hates me,
I'm going to eat a worm!"

And that reminds me of this one that we sang whenever we thought a boy and girl might be interested in each other:

Glow little glow-worm, glimmer, glimmer
[insert name of girl you're teasing]'s getting thinner, thinner.
Teeth are crooked and her hair is peroxyde,
in the moonlight, she looks cross-eyed
Bells on her petticoat swinging in the breezes
High above her bowlegged kneeses

All these things that people say
Can't keep [name of boy you're teasing] away!

avanutria · Post by **avanutria** » Thu Jul 06, 2006 8:13 am

Ah, I never liked the worms on the snout one. Was presented with it unexpectedly during a school special event at a particularly bad time in life. Still creeps me out. Though the other, worse ones don't seem to bother me. And I liked to sing the eating worms one...used to know all the verses at one time.

MarkS · Post by **MarkS** » Thu Jul 06, 2006 9:24 am

Ah, the songs of youth. Here's one, sung to "Off We Go Into The Wild Blue Yonder":

Off we go
Into the lunch room yonder
Pushing girls
Out of the way.

Forward boys!
Moving along the counter,
Grab some grub,
Fill up your tray

Try some beans,
They were prepared last Thursday,
And the meat's
Tough as a mule

The soup's cold,
The bread's got mold,
Anything beats the food
They serve in school

jsluder · Post by **jsluder** » Thu Jul 06, 2006 9:34 am

bradhurley wrote:"Great big gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat,
Saturated chicken fat

Great big gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts,
That's what we eat at school!"

The version we sang went like this:

Great green globs of greasy, grimey gopher guts,
Mutilated monkey meat, chopped up baby parakeet,
French-fried eyeballs floating in a pot of blood,
And I forgot my spoon. (I brought a straw.)

jsluder · Post by **jsluder** » Thu Jul 06, 2006 9:36 am

Oh, that reminds me of another one:

My grandma has tuberculosis,
She has one rotten lung,
She spits up blood and corruption,
And rolls it around on her tongue.
Save it! Save it! Save it for beans tonight, tonight!
Save it! Save it! Oh save it for beans tonight!

peeplj · Post by **peeplj** » Thu Jul 06, 2006 9:40 am

Ok, you brought up an old memory:

"This land is my land, this land's not your land,
I've got a shotgun, and you ain't got one!
You'd better get off, I'll blow your head off!
This land was made for me alone!"

--James

jsluder · Post by **jsluder** » Thu Jul 06, 2006 9:48 am

bradhurley wrote:"Nobody likes me, everybody hates me,
I'm going to eat a worm!"

Nobody likes me, everybody hates me,
Think I'll eat some worms.
Worms are greasy, go down easy,
Everybody should eat worms!

Innocent Bystander · Post by **Innocent Bystander** » Thu Jul 06, 2006 9:54 am

Everybody hates me, nobody loves me
Going down the garden to eat worms.
Long thin slimey ones, big fat fuzzy ones
Goooey gooey gooey gooey worms!
Long thin slimey ones slip down easily
Big fat fuzzy ones don't
Big fat fuzzy ones stick in your teeth
and the juice goes SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSlllllllllllllllp
Down your throat!

dwinterfield · Post by **dwinterfield** » Thu Jul 06, 2006 9:55 am

I don't have kids, so I don't know. Would a 12 year old singing these at school today get in trouble?

Too bad since gopher guts and worms bring back such fond memories.

Innocent Bystander · Post by **Innocent Bystander** » Thu Jul 06, 2006 10:01 am

dwinterfield wrote:I don't have kids, so I don't know. Would a 12 year old singing these at school today get in trouble?

Too bad since gopher guts and worms bring back such fond memories.

Alert 12 year olds do not sing them in the presence of adults.

missy · Post by **missy** » Thu Jul 06, 2006 11:07 am

be careful with the "shot my teacher" ones - they arrested a kid a few months ago for one of those.......

On top of Old Smokey
All covered with mud
I found my poor teacher
All covered with blood

A knife in her stomach
An ax in her head
I knew my poor teacher
Was nothing but dead

If you don't know any of these songs you:
Were not a girl scout
Were not a boy scout
Or did not attend summer camp

Chiff and Fipple Forums

Great big gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts

Great big gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts

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