Undisputed (Mildly) Injured in Freak Microwave Accident

Joseph E. Smith · Post by **Joseph E. Smith** » Wed May 03, 2006 4:48 am

So," what have you learned, Dorothy?"

Post by **Dale** » Wed May 03, 2006 6:35 am

Joseph E. Smith wrote:So," what have you learned, Dorothy?"

Good question. When I put the spoon in---that's when the thing oversploded and hurt me. So I have learned that spoons want to hurt me.

Watch for www.spoonswanttohurtme.com

coming soon.

izzarina · Post by **izzarina** » Wed May 03, 2006 6:56 am

I hope it's feeling better today, Dale. Were you using regular tap water?

SteveShaw · Post by **SteveShaw** » Wed May 03, 2006 7:03 am

A few years ago we bought a state-of-the-art microwave that could do everything bar get up and dance a jig on the kitchen floor. Of course, it's no longer state-of-the-art because it was obsolete about 3.5 minutes after we bought it.

Tried to cook things in it a few times. I tried, God how I tried. All I do with it now is thaw things out that I forgot to take out of the freezer in good time.

Post by **Dale** » Wed May 03, 2006 8:10 am

Microwaves are now so ubiquitous that it's easy to forget how weird they are. I still remember the first time I ever saw one and a guy explained to me how they heat food. I actually said "B.S. Tell me how the darn thing really works."

There's still a bunch of things they don't do well, most notably (1) cooking meat (2) making bread and (3) being careful not to burn me with oversploding superheated coffee.

djm · Post by **djm** » Wed May 03, 2006 8:19 am

SteveShaw wrote:Tried to cook things in it a few times. I tried, God how I tried.

Steve, you always have me in stitches.

I liked Pixy's story of the plants watered with microwaved water. The reason that no-one takes these experiments seriously is that they can't be duplicated, which is considered bad science. No-one wants to admit that any effect is still a bad sign, whether it is reproducible or not.

I have distrusted microwave oves since their inception, and refuse to have one in the house. As Dale points out, they are ubiquitous, and I have probably eaten nuked food many times in restaurants. Who knows, I may have already eaten the meal that will kill me a few years from now. Or not. Why risk it?

djm

Doug_Tipple · Post by **Doug_Tipple** » Wed May 03, 2006 8:46 am

Oh, come on! Enough of the microwave phobia talk. How else but in a microwave will I be able to heat up my Weight Watchers TV dinners in 6 minutes, I ask you? I remember the old toaster ovens (I still have one for pizza, etc.). It took me 30 minutes to cook a frozen dinner in the toaster oven, and I would die of starvation while it would take its sweet time. Another consideration is household energy consumption. Microwaves use far less electric energy than convection ovens with electric heating elements. I agree that microwave cooking is not the best for cooking some items. For example, my experiments with cooking eggs have been explosively disastrous. It reminds me of my Aunt Mary who tried to cook a pot of beans in a pressure cooker. The sticky beans plugged up the exhaust port, and "Kaboom" the high pressure plug blew off, sticking the cooked beans on the walls, the ceiling, and all over the kitchen. Now those things, i.e. pressure cookers, scare me.

Post by **Dale** » Wed May 03, 2006 8:55 am

Doug_Tipple wrote:Oh, come on! Enough of the microwave phobia talk.

Don't get me wrong. I use the things a lot. In fact, my wife and I still laugh about the time our microwave broke down--all our daughters were still at home--and we were saying "HOW WILL WE FEED OUR CHILDREN???"

Joseph E. Smith · Post by **Joseph E. Smith** » Wed May 03, 2006 9:05 am

Dale wrote:
Doug_Tipple wrote:Oh, come on! Enough of the microwave phobia talk.
Don't get me wrong. I use the things a lot. In fact, my wife and I still laugh about the time our microwave broke down--all our daughters were still at home--and we were saying "HOW WILL WE FEED OUR CHILDREN???"

You should've done it the old fashioned way (see hunter/gatherer), given them a couple of large rocks, a large mammoth bladder with water enough for a week, fishing spears with adle adles and a couple of large clubs and told them to:

"Ung, manky ungowa unk unk!!!".... simple.

Bloomfield · Post by **Bloomfield** » Wed May 03, 2006 9:12 am

Watch a movie of it happening here

Post by **Dale** » Wed May 03, 2006 9:15 am

Bloomfield wrote:Watch a movie of it happening here

THAT'S IT!! Except I wasn't wearing a glove!!

O, the horror!

Post by **Dale** » Wed May 03, 2006 10:43 am

More evidence it's about spoons wanting to hurt me.

I go get a cup of coffee just now and the coffee is hot in the coffee pot so no need to involve the microwave. I put a mug down on a folded paper towel with a damp spoon on it. (Somebody had just used it.) I put the cream in the coffee and pick up the spoon to stir it and....THE DAMP SPOON HAD ADHERED TO THE PAPER TOWEL and so when I picked up the spoon, I pulled the rug, so to speak, out from under the coffee and it nearly re-scalded me!

I'm giving up coffee.

Bloomfield · Post by **Bloomfield** » Wed May 03, 2006 10:45 am

Dale wrote: I'm giving up coffee.

That's excessive. Just give up spoons.

Denny · Post by **Denny** » Wed May 03, 2006 10:47 am

Bloomfield wrote:
Dale wrote: I'm giving up coffee.
That's excessive. Just give up spoons.

or give up polluting the coffee and drink it black

Jack · Post by **Jack** » Wed May 03, 2006 11:11 am

Dale wrote:
Joseph E. Smith wrote:So," what have you learned, Dorothy?"
Good question. When I put the spoon in---that's when the thing oversploded and hurt me. So I have learned that spoons want to hurt me.

Watch for www.spoonswanttohurtme.com

coming soon.

No! Spoons don't hurt people. Lack of spoons does.

It makes me sad that many "healthy" people have never heard of the spoon theory:

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/2004/ ... theory.php

When I was healthy, though, I had never heard of the spoon theory either, so I know you've probably never heard of it and you're not consciously mocking it.

It's a semi-long read, but it's interesting and very important. Many of us lack spoons in a way that most people would never understand. Spoons do not want to hurt us.