Like WOW man! Can you believe my luck?

emmline · Post by **emmline** » Sun Apr 30, 2006 11:17 am

Cranberry wrote:I know Brian Jones!

But do you know Brien Jones?

Jack · Post by **Jack** » Sun Apr 30, 2006 11:19 am

emmline wrote:
Cranberry wrote:I know Brian Jones!
But do you know Brien Jones?

No!

I know a girl named Brianne ("Bree Ann") though. Does that count?

Jack · Post by **Jack** » Sun Apr 30, 2006 11:44 am

I found his phone number.

http://preview.ussearch.com/preview/new ... =red&TID=0

emmline · Post by **emmline** » Sun Apr 30, 2006 11:48 am

Here's my response: We should take bets on whether I'll hear from them again.

Dear Dawn,
Brien is in Hollywood? Far out! (I bet he's doing a little pre-scouting to whip up a bit of interest in some of the great projects you people are taking on, huh? Just wait 'til he dangles my book in front of the Disney talent-hunters!)

Oh, and about the cashier's check. I'm so relieved that that's ok with you. I've had people balk at Uncle Bellwether's stipulations in the past. It's going to be drawn on the Catatonia Island branch of the Dawes, Tomes, Mousely, Grubbs Fidelity Fiduciary Bank of the Fondolopia Archipelago. But they're good, I promise. And trustworthy. And they never forget to offer kids a lollipop.

I was in contact with the Bank Trustee, Mr. Smith-Peligrimoso-Warchovski, who oversees all withdrawals from my trust account, and he advised me that I've used up all my 10K draws as stipulated by Uncle Bellwether's original charter, and am therefore limited to withdrawing the amount of 20K. Furthermore, because Uncle Bellwether feared, above all else, that I might fall prey to a clever swindler, the amount must be made payable in full to a company which represents a worthy investment. I trust that Airleaf Publishing represents a worthy investment? As for the overage which you will need to remit to me, I am happy to accept it in the form of cash in a duffel bag.(you can hand the duffel bag to the jetski driver--see below.) You can keep the change at $12,000, and use the remaining dollar to buy a few more seconds of my television commercial!

You requested a phone number. I'm sorry to say that I have no land-line, and all my cell calls are routed through the Quantum Foam Cellular Company, located in the Fondolopia Archipelago. As I've mentioned, their banks are the cat's pajamas, but frankly, their cellular companies are the cat's underpants if you get my drift. Our connection would be scratchy at best, and I fear some kind of dreadful miscommunication could transpire.

As soon as I get your go-ahead, I can have the bank cut that check. UPS and Fedex are unheard of in the Fondolopia Archipelago, and they will intead be delivering by Jetski. They assure me that all important documents are kept in waterproof fish-skin portfolios.

Thanks,
Emily

Post by **Nanohedron** » Sun Apr 30, 2006 11:55 am

BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!

Oh my. Oh dear. Agh. I literally have tears in my eyes from laughing.

emmline wrote:As for the overage which you will need to remit to me, I am happy to accept it in the form of cash in a duffel bag.

That's just evil. You're an utter caution, Em.

carrie · Post by **carrie** » Sun Apr 30, 2006 12:01 pm

Personally, I think this exchange should become the basis for an epistolary novel, or whatever the equivalent email verison would be called. It's a gem of a start to what could be a hilarious book. Emm, maybe in a weird way Brien and Dawn are leading you to your pot of gold after all!

Carol

Post by **Nanohedron** » Sun Apr 30, 2006 12:02 pm

Capital idea.

Joseph E. Smith · Post by **Joseph E. Smith** » Sun Apr 30, 2006 12:35 pm

If you like, I could volunteer my services as your heroin addited, coffee swilling, Guiness fattened and Frito munching agent.... Dickey McSuill.

scottielvr · Post by **scottielvr** » Sun Apr 30, 2006 12:52 pm

This is divine, emm. I await developments with a worm on my tongue.

(with bated breath)

carrie · Post by **carrie** » Sun Apr 30, 2006 12:58 pm

Nanohedron wrote:Capital idea.

I'd even be willing to go so far as to manage the capital investments in this brilliant idea. (There are printing and distribution costs, people.) I will establish a secure trust where all investors' money will be 100% safe.

Joseph E. Smith wrote:If you like, I could volunteer my services as your heroin addited, coffee swilling, Guiness fattened and Frito munching agent.... Dickey McSuill.

Outa my way, JES.

Honorably yours,
Carol

izzarina · Post by **izzarina** » Sun Apr 30, 2006 1:03 pm

emmline wrote:As I've mentioned, their banks are the cat's pajamas, but frankly, their cellular companies are the cat's underpants if you get my drift.

It almost makes me want to start an account with them...after all, they are the cat's pajamas!

Excellent, emm!! I'm dying to know what they'll say about the jetski...maybe Brien can meet him halfway?

Post by **Nanohedron** » Sun Apr 30, 2006 1:11 pm

My only niggling doubt is the bit about "waterproof fish-skin portfolios".
They might have sussed you out with that one, Em. Everyone knows
the impermeability of seal bladders, even though some fish skins can
make a business fashion statement to die for.

Caj · Post by **Caj** » Sun Apr 30, 2006 1:26 pm

Wow, you are a good writer.

Incidentally, the anti-harassment group WHOA was co-founded by someone dealing with a fake literary agency. For the sordid and educational story, read
http://www.jahitchcock.com/cyberstalked/

Caj

Joseph E. Smith · Post by **Joseph E. Smith** » Sun Apr 30, 2006 1:40 pm

cskinner wrote: Outa my way, JES.

Honorably yours,
Carol

... typical me, always late for a "business dinner".

dubhlinn · Post by **dubhlinn** » Sun Apr 30, 2006 1:59 pm

I fear that the pudding has been over-egged.

There is tremendous wit and charm in Emm's reply but surely no body is so stupid, or greedy, not to sense something amiss here.

Emm deserves a better outlet for her considerable talents than fooling around with sh*t who are trying to cover their own butts and finding a way out of the disaster that they have created.

I only hope and pray that the other targets of the scam have Emms prescence of mind.

Fame, and it's various relations, can have a strange effect on those who want it for it's own sake.

Never fancied it myself but then again, I've never had Emms gift for writing.

If I had I'd be writing something..

Slan,
D.

Gob..shi.te's is one of those words that fall into the net of the autocensor