A polar bear walks into a bar...

jsluder · Post by **jsluder** » Mon Dec 12, 2005 1:40 pm

A polar bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'll have a rum................................................... and coke."

The bartender asks, "What's with the big pause?"

The bear responds, "I dunno... I've always had them."

Turtle · Post by **Turtle** » Mon Dec 12, 2005 1:49 pm

That's horrid.........but I like it anyway

MarkB · Post by **MarkB** » Mon Dec 12, 2005 1:52 pm

If any Polar Bear walks into a bar, any bar, he/she can darn well have anything he/she wants. I've seen polar bears up close in Churchill Manitoba and there is no way I would serving them a drink.

But that is a good joke!

MarkB

amar · Post by **amar** » Mon Dec 12, 2005 2:43 pm

love it.

jsluder · Post by **jsluder** » Mon Dec 12, 2005 2:44 pm

Harry was in big trouble when he forgot his wedding anniversary.

His wife told him, "Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway for me that goes from zero to 200 in 2 seconds flat".

The next morning his wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Not sure when Harry gets out of the hospital.

[Source: rec.humor.funny]

Turtle · Post by **Turtle** » Mon Dec 12, 2005 3:23 pm

Ohhh, that ones gonna get me smacked tonight. Good stuff

chas · Post by **chas** » Mon Dec 12, 2005 4:18 pm

A guy walks in and sits at the bar. He orders a drink, then says to the bartender, "I'll bet you 20 bucks I can bite my eyeball." The bartender figures he can't lose this one, so he takes the guy up on the bet. The guy takes out his glass eye and bites it.

A little while later, he says to the bartender, "I feel bad about taking your money like that, I'll bet you double or nothing that I can bite my other eyeball." The bartender holds up two fingers and asks the guy how many, and, reassured that the guy could see, takes him up on the double or nothing. Then the guy takes out his false teeth and bites his real eye. He takes the 40 bucks and goes off to one of the tables for awhile.

He comes back and says, "Okay, I'll bet you a hundred bucks that I can stand at the end of the bar and piss into this shotglass and not spill a drop." It was about 20 feet to the end of the bar, and the bartender figured it was impossible. Sure enough, the guy pisses all over the bar and doesn't get a drop into the shotglass. The bartender laughs his ass off.

The guy comes back to his stool, and the bartender asks, "You seem like an intelligent guy -- what made you think you could piss into this shotglass from there?"

"Well, I didn't. I bet each of the guys at that table a hundred bucks that I could piss all over your bar and not get kicked out of the place."