Why I deleted the unclothed thread....

[Lambchop]

The perfect musician's wife is:

• 1) a woman who can fix things.
  2) a woman you can dance with.
  3) a woman who can pay for things.
  4) a woman you can talk to.
  5) a woman to have great sex with.

Ah, umm, . . . <hem!> . . . I know I'm good for at least 4 of the above . . . so why am I still single?????

Uh... you haven't met any single, homeless musicians?

No. None.

I spend so much time working at my stable, secure job(s) that there isn't much time for anything except doing necessary home and vehicle maintenance, looking after the occasional need of an elderly relative or neighbor, and working out. Sigh. And, there always seems to be someone who needs a kindly ear . . . the time just flies by.

I just don't know what's wrong with me.

[Cynth]

LAMBY, WAKE UP!!!!!

Remember what dog lady says:

"Dog Lady surmises you don’t have a dog or you wouldn’t ask the question. May I make a suggestion: Don’t worry about the man. Get a dog.

Have you ever thought of visiting the nearest animal shelter instead of surfing onto Match.com? Why peruse digital mug shots of men who claim to have the whaler in their souls (yeesh, what a blubbery line), when you can look into the eyes of doggies.
Be careful about Internet dating. Keep your distance and your sense of humor. Don’t build fantasies in cyberspace. Get to know someone in person before you attach too much significance to anything they write about themselves."

[jGilder]

LAMBY, WAKE UP!!!!!

Remember what dog lady says:

"Dog Lady surmises you don’t have a dog or you wouldn’t ask the question. May I make a suggestion: Don’t worry about the man. Get a dog.

• 

[Cynth]

[Doug_Tipple]

Threads tend to have a life of their own. When Dale posted this thread, he had no idea.

My ex, whom I alluded to earlier, just called me tonight. She has a large house, and she rents out rooms to people that she doesn't know enough about, in my opinion. Her current roomer says that he is a college professor, but why is he living in a rented room, I ask? And why is he screaming at night? I am glad to be living in my own apartment, thank God.

[Wombat]

Is it true all men are dogs?

Joan, St. Botolph St.

No Joan, some of us are wombats.

I think that is a female wombat . . . her name seems to be "Abigail."

Not that that is a bad thing, mind you, . . . merely pointing this out in the interest of scientific accuracy. She's rather dainty . . . charming, in fact.

Busted. She certainly is cute though.

She's also rather young.

[Lambchop]

No Joan, some of us are wombats.

I think that is a female wombat . . . her name seems to be "Abigail."

Not that that is a bad thing, mind you, . . . merely pointing this out in the interest of scientific accuracy. She's rather dainty . . . charming, in fact.

Busted. She certainly is cute though.

She's also rather young.

Yes, her brother was a cutie, too. Good diggers, I see.

Tell me, is their fur soft? Or bristly? They look soft and cuddly . . .

[Lambchop]

LAMBY, WAKE UP!!!!!

Remember what dog lady says:

"Dog Lady surmises you don’t have a dog or you wouldn’t ask the question. May I make a suggestion: Don’t worry about the man.

That's the problem, as I see it. I kept taking all that advice about "don't worry about the man."

Last week, I installed a fish in my office at work. I was thinking it might lure in prospective mates from the hallway . . . "Oh, I see you have a nice fish!" That would give us something to talk about.

[Cynth]

Her current roomer says that he is a college professor, but why is he living in a rented room, I ask? And why is he screaming at night?

Well, is it possible that he is new to the college and hasn't found a more permanent place to live yet? He might have a temporary position, like for just a year, and so maybe a room would suit him. Could he have just split up with his wife? Actually, given all the home maintenance one is supposed to do, I think having a room somewhere sounds just lovely. No more guilt!

The screaming at night is a little more worrisome. Did his landlady give him a list of things to do " like build a screened-in back porch, install a new kitchen floor (anyone could do it), put a bathroom with Jacuzi tub in the unfinished basement"? Perhaps he is behind on his grading or thinking about grading---that could do it. I am assuming he is screaming while he is asleep and dreaming and not while he is awake. I shouldn't think he would have such nightmares every night though. If he is screaming when he is awake, I think she should call the police.

[StevieJ]

... single, homeless musicians ...

A tautology, I think. Either of those adjectives will do the job of the other.

Q. What do you call a musician who's just broken up with his girlfriend?








A. Homeless.

[Lambchop]

lol: Perhaps he is behind on his grading or thinking about grading---that could do it.

Yeah, that'll do it for me!

[Tyler]

... single, homeless musicians ...

A tautology, I think. Either of those adjectives will do the job of the other.

Q. What do you call a musician who's just broken up with his girlfriend?








A. Homeless.

How do you get a musician off your doorstep?















Pay him for the pizza.

[Wombat]

Tell me, is their fur soft? Or bristly? They look soft and cuddly . . .

Here's a few satisfied looking punters.





Actually I'd say they are often intermediate between soft and bristly; it depends a lot on where they have been burrowing recently. I've never handled a wombat in captivity. Odd though it might sound, wombats will sometimes make friends with humans in the wild. Like domestic cats, they make friends on their own terms though. I haven't found them naturally aggressive but they can look after themselves. They don't suffer nuisances gladly. They are stubborn rather than vicious.

This is best illustrated by the last occasion I handled a wild wombat. I was driving in the forested mountains about 100km north of Melbourne on a back road. There, in the middle of the road, was a large adult wombat slowly waddling up the middle of the road sticking firmly to the broken white line between lanes. Naturally I was concerned for its safety so I pulled over, introduced myself, and then lifted the wombat to the side of the road. It didn't fight or struggle. But when a put it down, still pointing in the right direction, it tilted its head on one side, gave me a look of patient, world weary contempt, and then waddled straight back to the middle of the road and kept on going as before. Delightful really, but I do hope it made it to its destination without trouble.

[Flyingcursor]

That's a pretty big animal. If wombats were hedgehogs they might run around saying, "Dinsdale!"

[Wombat]

That's a pretty big animal. If wombats were hedgehogs they might run around saying, "Dinsdale!"

Unlikely, I think. Actually, with the adult I was seriously wondering why it wasn't cuddling the child.