A Goofy Human Resources Problem

Post by **Dale** » Thu Sep 16, 2004 10:58 am

http://www.cnn.com/2004/LAW/09/16/disne ... index.html

glauber · Post by **glauber** » Thu Sep 16, 2004 11:04 am

Disney has it easy. You should see the kind of problems they have in Itchy and Scratchy Land!

jsluder · Post by **jsluder** » Thu Sep 16, 2004 11:08 am

I started to say "That's just daffy", but then I realized I was mixing my cartoons...

What's next for this guy? Will he be accused of slipping a mickey to a girl in a mini? Will they get The Donald to say "You're fired"? Some real-life stories just seem as far out there as Pluto...

Kar · Post by **Kar** » Thu Sep 16, 2004 11:34 am

I used to work as Disneyland as Chip (as in Chip'n'Dale) but only in the parade, so I never got to shove anyone.

However, Dale & I held oversized egg beaters (props for our baker-themed float) and once Dale hit me in the face accidentally and popped out the Chip head's plastic eye. I didn't sue or anything. Maybe these people are taking this all too seriously.

As for the molestation case, I believe it was eventually settled because it was decided that you can't really molest anyone in giant overstuffed three-fingered furry gloves. This is true. The gloves make your hands essentially useless. I used to see characters in the Park writing signatures with the gloves on, and believe me, it's a highly developed skill.

During the parades, we had dressers that helped us suit up, because the gloves went on early (they reach well past your elbows so that no one can catch even a glimpse of your human flesh) and after that, even velco was beyond us.

Walden · Post by **Walden** » Thu Sep 16, 2004 12:47 pm

glauber wrote:Disney has it easy. You should see the kind of problems they have in Itchy and Scratchy Land!

TomB · Post by **TomB** » Thu Sep 16, 2004 1:05 pm

Kar wrote:As for the molestation case, I believe it was eventually settled because it was decided that you can't really molest anyone in giant overstuffed three-fingered furry gloves. This is true. The gloves make your hands essentially useless. I used to see characters in the Park writing signatures with the gloves on, and believe me, it's a highly developed skill.

During the parades, we had dressers that helped us suit up, because the gloves went on early (they reach well past your elbows so that no one can catch even a glimpse of your human flesh) and after that, even velco was beyond us.

Well, if I had a 13 year old daughter, and I don't, I think my view would be that any adult touching her improperly, no matter what type of gloves he was wearing, would be molesting her. Hopefully the law would agree.

All the Best,

Tom

Walden · Post by **Walden** » Thu Sep 16, 2004 1:22 pm

Kar wrote:However, Dale & I held oversized egg beaters (props for our baker-themed float) and once Dale hit me in the face accidentally and popped out the Chip head's plastic eye. I didn't sue or anything.

I'm sure it was just a lapse, the Undisputed normally seems pretty peaceable.

jsluder · Post by **jsluder** » Thu Sep 16, 2004 1:42 pm

Kar wrote:However, Dale & I held oversized egg beaters (props for our baker-themed float) and once Dale hit me in the face accidentally and popped out the Chip head's plastic eye.

A block off the old Chip, eh?

glauber · Post by **glauber** » Thu Sep 16, 2004 1:47 pm

Walden wrote:

Thanks for posting this.

"Unnecessary Surgery Land!" LOL!

OutOfBreath · Post by **OutOfBreath** » Thu Sep 16, 2004 8:55 pm

Kar wrote:As for the molestation case, I believe it was eventually settled because it was decided that you can't really molest anyone in giant overstuffed three-fingered furry gloves. This is true. The gloves make your hands essentially useless. I used to see characters in the Park writing signatures with the gloves on, and believe me, it's a highly developed skill.

That's probably the case - one of those rare instances of the jury having a lot more common sense than the district attorney. On some of those costumes the fingers extend well past where your hand ends, kind of like a big floppy clown's shoe. That makes it hard to even know where your "hand" is unless you're looking all the time. I can see where it would be pretty easy to unintentionally "molest" someone just in draping your arm over their shoulder for a picture.

What's really sad is that if this guy had taken the "deal" they offered him he would have to register as a "sex offender" for the rest of his life. A lot of innocent people fall for "deals" because they figure they don't have enough dough for a good attorney and the cops and district attorney are able to convince them that they are risking heavy jail time if they don't take the "generous" offer. They don't find out 'til too late that what looked like no big deal (a fine and community service) is going to ruin the rest of their life.

You would think the authorities down there have enough real molestors that they would have better things to do than prosecute something as ridiculous as this.

I don't much like attorneys, but I will say this, if you are ever arrested or even investigated for anything keep your mouth shut and ask for your attorney - even a public defender is better than no attorney when you're being targeted by people who are not only permitted to lie and attempt to deceive and coerce you, but are trained to do so!

vomitbunny · Post by **vomitbunny** » Thu Sep 16, 2004 9:09 pm

I believe that pushing or shoving would not make the news in Itchy and Scratchy land.
Smashy Smashy.

Post by **Dale** » Thu Sep 16, 2004 10:11 pm

glauber wrote:
Walden wrote:
Thanks for posting this.

"Unnecessary Surgery Land!" LOL!

I always thought that there might be some real value in a whole new theme area at Disney called the "Land of Childhood Fears."

1. Separation Anxiety!

Families pile into a ride car on a track and start their journey together. Parents are seated on one side of the car and the kids on the other. Once underway on the track, just when things start to get a bit scary, the car splits into two parts and the kids watch their parents move along a separate track--getting further and further away. At the end of the ride, they are reunited...but with the wrong parents.

2. MegaToilet: The Sewer Adventure

Each rider is seated on a special ride chair that looks like a gigantic toilet. A flushing sound gets louder and louder. The opening expands and the young rider swirls down a watery slide through a simulated urban sewer system. It would be educational! It's amazing how little most people know about how sewers work. A septic tank option would be available.

3. Bath Drain Hell!

Water theme park features a giant wave pool shaped like a bath tub. But when the big alarm sounds, instead of a wave crashing over you, all of the water swirls down and out a drain and you go with it.

4. First Hair Cut Castration Anxiety-o-Rama

You are seated in an oversized barber's chair that makes you feel really small. A giant robotic barber (ironically sporting a bad comb-over) starts snipping at your hair and makes occasional references to "cutting something else off."

5. First Day of School Fear-o-Matic 2004

You revisit your first day of school. Except, this time, all the other kids are identical to each other, are called Ronnie, and are bullies. The school has no bathrooms. You forgot your lunch and feel faint. All the other kids know how to cut out the picture of the squirrel but you can't make your scissors work. The teacher drinks.

jbarter · Post by **jbarter** » Fri Sep 17, 2004 5:04 am

Hey Dale, what have you got planned for Chiff n Fipple Land?