Tell us why you're happy! :)

burnsbyrne · Post by **burnsbyrne** » Thu Apr 03, 2003 2:41 pm

Dear Everybody,
I feel the need to say that this post is not intended to pull down this happy thread - not at all. The idea of happiness has been a lifelong study for me because, as far as I can tell I have never been "happy" in the way that most people use the word. I have occasionally been content and I have had periods of joy and of sorrow and of despair. So, if you feel like it, would anyone like to express what it means to be "happy"? Lots of people in this thread have listed pleasureable things that cause happiness. But is it not necessary first to be happy before any enjoyment can be felt? I don't have any of these answers - that's why I'm asking. Please contribute if you feel you want to.
Mike

Ro3b · Post by **Ro3b** » Thu Apr 03, 2003 3:25 pm

So, if you feel like it, would anyone like to express what it means to be "happy"?

That's much too good a question to spoil with an answer.

carrie · Post by **carrie** » Thu Apr 03, 2003 3:32 pm

Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.
Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina

Not an answer, but something.

Carol

Mack.Hoover · Post by **Mack.Hoover** » Thu Apr 03, 2003 4:08 pm

MEMORIES
Old photos
That fell out of an old
Black page album.
The little stick-on corners
Fell out too, and fluttered
To the floor.
Memories disconnected
From the place they were forgotten...
Remembered once again amid
A snowfall of three cornered flakes.

Celtoid · Post by **Celtoid** » Thu Apr 03, 2003 5:24 pm

I'm happy because its April and it's snowing and I don't care.
I'm happy because I got to practice for two hours today.
I'm happy because my teenagers are still talking to me.
I'm happy because my wife is still talking to me.
I'm happy because the alternative is to be unhappy.
I'm happy I have so much to be thankful for.

Post by **Nanohedron** » Thu Apr 03, 2003 7:02 pm

I'm with Burnsbyrne. Birds flit beneath a passing cloud, and no trace remains.

Sunnywindo · Post by **Sunnywindo** » Thu Apr 03, 2003 7:03 pm

burnsbyrne wrote:Dear Everybody,
I feel the need to say that this post is not intended to pull down this happy thread - not at all. The idea of happiness has been a lifelong study for me because, as far as I can tell I have never been "happy" in the way that most people use the word. I have occasionally been content and I have had periods of joy and of sorrow and of despair. So, if you feel like it, would anyone like to express what it means to be "happy"? Lots of people in this thread have listed pleasureable things that cause happiness. But is it not necessary first to be happy before any enjoyment can be felt? I don't have any of these answers - that's why I'm asking. Please contribute if you feel you want to.
Mike

Oh! You just had to ask, didn't you?

And I will spoil it with an answer, though I would think, or at least hope that most everyone already knows an answer. I think the answer is in the mind... attitude.

I was watching a movie last night set about fifty years ago in the islands of Tonga I believe it was. They lived in little huts, at one point nearly everything on the island was destroyed because of a hurricane. But in the end they still had happiness. One of the points made was that these people possesed nothing, yet they possesed everything.

Things don't make us happy. They might be nice, and even enhance the happiness you already hold in your heart, but if you can't find happiness living in a hut, you won't find it living in a mansion. If you were not happy before that certain whistle, you won't be happy after you buy it either, at least not in the most important sense of the term. To depend on things to make you happy, that's an artificial happiness... not real, true life long happiness. Real happiness lies in the mind, and attitude, an outlook. Being able to still find beauty amoung the ashes.

I would also venture to say that happiness in knowing who you are. Floating along on the tides, with no goals, no reason, no purpose, hoping one day to simply arrive at the destination of happy doesn't work. Happiness is not a destination, it's in the journey. Happiness lies in the choices we make and our reactions to what happens to and around us. Choosing to find reason and purpose, setting worth while goals then following through, finding meaning in even the smallest things of life. Though addmittedly, such things are easier for some folks than others. Happiness can take some practice.

Of course, we are not meant to be happy all of the time. It is just not possible. We are human after all with a wide varity of emotions. We grieve at the passing of a loved one, we are saddened by the loss of something treasured, we are discouraged when things do not go as we hoped they would. There are many up and down bumps in life's road. That's only natural. But in the end lies the choice. You can continue to hold fast to the pain, resentment, discouragement, etc. forever letting it fester and grow, or you can gather up the pieces and move on with really living, finding happiness in the journey once more.

Some good quotes on happiness: (not that I know who some of these people I'm quoting are, but I thought the quotes were good...)

Indeed, man wishes to be happy even when he so lives as to make happiness impossible. -St. Augustine-

The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself. -Ben Franklin-

It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere. -Agnes Repplier-

When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. -Helen Keller-

Happiness is a thing to be practiced, like the violin.
-John Lubbock-

No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness.
-Mary Wollstonecraft -

Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length.
-Robert Frost-

The habit of being happy enables one to be freed, or largely freed, from domination of outside conditions.
-Robert Louis Stevenson-

Happiness resides not in possessions and not in gold, the feeling of happiness dwells in the soul. -Democritus, (460?-370? BC)-

Happiness is spiritual, born of Truth and Love. It is unselfish; therefore it cannot exist alone, but requires all mankind to share it. -Mary Baker Eddy-

The greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions, and not on our circumstances. We carry the seeds of the one or the other about with us in our minds wherever we go. -Martha Washington-

Think of all the beauty thats still left in and around you and be happy!
-Anne Frank-

The Grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for. -Allan K. Chalmers-

Happiness is enhanced by others but does not depend upon others.
-Unknown-

Happiness is a choice that requires effort at times. -Unknown-

Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action. -Benjamin Disraeli-

Okay... enough happy thoughts for now....

Go practice being happy!

Sara

rebl_rn · Post by **rebl_rn** » Thu Apr 03, 2003 7:25 pm

Something I think some people get confused is the difference between happiness and joy. Happiness is fairly superficial and always temporary. Happiness is a good hair day, sleeping in, hearing (or playing) a great tune, or according to Charles Schultz, a warm puppy.....the list goes on as we have all listed here.

Joy goes deeper into the core of a person. One can be unhappy and still be joyful. In fact, it's that joy that keeps me going during the unhappy times. I wish I could tell you how to be more joyful. It's different for each person. For many, including myself, joy is found in faith.

I don't know if this made much sense. I don't think I explained it very well. I have heard some excellent talks given on this subject, but of course they escape me now!

That being said, today I'm happy because I got to sleep in (see above), the new spring line of Birkenstocks are out (happy feet!), and my parents are happily settled in their new home.

Beth

Jerry Freeman · Post by **Jerry Freeman** » Thu Apr 03, 2003 8:05 pm

http://www.npr.org/dmg/dmg.php?prgCode= ... diaPref=RM

Here's a great 35 minute interview with an authority on happiness. He defines three kinds of authentic happiness:

The Pleasant
The Good
The Meaningful

I believe that the insights that have already been posted here are consistent with this map.

Best wishes,
Jerry

P.S. You need Real Player to listen to this. If you have Real Player and it diesn't start by itself, try copying and pasting the URL into the "Browse" window you get when you click the "File" menu of Real Player.

mamakash · Post by **mamakash** » Thu Apr 03, 2003 9:48 pm

So, if you feel like it, would anyone like to express what it means to be "happy"?

I have experienced moments in life that while passing though seemed small and ordinary, but in recalling felt complete and beautiful. If the light catches my attention, or the chill in the air is the same, I can go back years and recall these perfect moments, sometimes painful, sometimes joyful.
I can't really remember what it felt like to be me before I was injured at 19, but I have never forgotten sensations since. I remember the odd, numb emotions of joy when I worked through therepy at the hospital, when I took the first steps out of the wheelchair . . . later on, my dad drove me in the morning to rehab and I watched forcithia bloom on the midian of the highway, or the drive past the canal, listening to Clannad and observing the water level . . . when I listen to Mary Chapen Carpender's "Hometown girl" album, I remember the warm last August days as I started to learn to drive the way to art school. I met Bob, I became a vegitarian, I learned to love coffee . . . I graduated art school and cried as I drove all the way home, in the rain listening to Tori Amos, thinking that my heart would break and if I could live in this moment, this gorgous, green blue rain misted feeling, for the rest of my life, I would be in the only place I ever wanted to be. So I hold the memory of Tori Amos and rain and coffee and my friend and it visits me when I need to be grounded, when the ordinary crowds in and makes me less grateful than I should.
I never live a moment and think, "This is the one that will last in my memory". They are little specks in life that I never notice while passing but stick out as something special. I'm amazed because I still making them, or at least, still noticing them after they happen.
Maybe it's because of art training and maybe it's having a second chance at life . . . it's strange how clear you're vision can become. I've been terribly unhappy, both before and after . . . that's part of who I am . . . but even in distress, it's amazing how beautiful moments of life can be. Isn't that what we're talking about here?

aderyn_du · Post by **aderyn_du** » Fri Apr 04, 2003 6:55 am

Mamakash, that was beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. Posts like yours and Sunnywindo's make me happy to be at C&F.

~A

burnsbyrne · Post by **burnsbyrne** » Fri Apr 04, 2003 7:15 am

I want to thank everyone for their thoughtful replies. I have wrestled with this topic most of my life - not in a morose or self-pitying way - but almost in a detached, intellectual way. I have also suffered chronic mania/depression from the age of about 18 until 5-6 years ago when I was diagnosed and started on medication. The medicine works and I've had stable mood for some years now. I still am working through topics like this (being happy) with my now-normal brain (is this what it means to be normal ?

). So thanks very much for your food for thought. I will ponder it and who knows....
Mike

HDSarah · Post by **HDSarah** » Fri Apr 04, 2003 3:56 pm

Mamakash, your post made those memories flutter to the surface for me, too. I, too, had a serious injury (at age eighteen), hospitalization, and recovery. In the decades since, I still regularly focus on the sensation of my legs swinging as I walk and en-JOY it. There is such joy just in walking, if I only remember to notice it.

My accident and recovery taught me many things, one of which is that health is much more than just the absence of sickness, and happiness is much more than the absence of sorrow.

mamakash wrote: If the light catches my attention, or the chill in the air is the same, I can go back years and recall these perfect moments, sometimes painful, sometimes joyful.

Does anyone else find that music pushes those same memory/emotion buttons, even if music wasn't part of the original memory? Sometimes a slow air will bring me back to a particular hospital memory. I had been in the hospital, literally chained to my bed (in skeletal traction) for probably about a month and a half at that point. I was well enough to be getting really antsy and bothered by being indoors. A couple of my favorite nurses [an aside: NURSES ARE WONDERFUL PEOPLE!

] rolled me, bed, traction weights and all, down the hall and out a door onto some sort of fire escape balcony. It was early February in Spokane, Washington, a cold, grey, windy, spitting-rain day. I couldn't see anything other than grey concrete and grey sky because I wasn't allowed to prop up at more than a 30 degree angle. It was glorious. I stayed out until my lips started turning blue and I was shivering, and my nurse friends insisted on hauling me back inside. I don't know if I can really explain it fully -- the smell and taste and feel of the rain-spattered wind on my face, the bracing cold, the feeling of soaring freedom and joy coexisting with an intense longing for a more complete freedom . . .

Go listen to a really beautiful slow air and you'll understand.

Sarah

Paul · Post by **Paul** » Fri Apr 04, 2003 4:54 pm

Mamakash and HDSarah - Wow. That was very touching. Thank you for sharing that here.

Sunnywindo, My wife and I were driving up the West cost of Oahu last year and we past through a stretch of coast called Makaha. It is very rural and beautiful. We saw quite a few Hawaiians living in old shanties and vehicles amongst the scrub on the beach. you could tell that they were permanantly camped there. We felt very sorry for them. Another day on on the other side of the island in a little town called Waimanalo we met this huge Hawaiian dude named Ernie in a surf shop. I told him what we saw and we explained how sad it was, etc. He pretty much said "Man, those people don't want to own anything. They are perfectly happy living on the beach doing their thing. It's their way. They're probably happier than all of us". It makes you think...

-Paul

Bagfed · Post by **Bagfed** » Fri Apr 04, 2003 5:47 pm

I think happiness is when nothing bothers you enough to complain about it.