The Arty Bollocks Generator

[Mr.Gumby]

For all your manifestos, exhibition blurbs and grant applications: It's Here.

My work explores the relationship between gender politics and life as perfomance.

With influences as diverse as Kierkegaard and Roy Lichtenstein, new tensions are generated from both traditional and modern meanings.

Ever since I was a teenager I have been fascinated by the theoretical limits of the mind. What starts out as hope soon becomes debased into a hegemony of lust, leaving only a sense of what could have been and the prospect of a new beginning.

As shifting forms become frozen through diligent and critical practice, the viewer is left with a glimpse of the limits of our condition.

Enjoy.

[Nanohedron]

Good God. I must be King Of The Hopeless Cases, because the generator only gives me nothing. Twice.

[benhall.1]

Does it. I thought it was uncanny. It kept telling my life story. And it was so-o-o-o-o accurate. Positively miraculous.

[Nanohedron]

I tried it again. Dammit. Sometimes the Zen thing just doesn't cut it.

[benhall.1]

Perhaps it's being accurate with you too.

[Nanohedron]

Grrr.

[benhall.1]

Grrr.

See, you need to free yourself of all this negative energy. Relax and become, as the Australian TV presenter might say, "one with everything".

Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

[Nanohedron]

Relax and become, as the Australian TV presenter might say, "one with everything".

Right. I should turn into a pizza.

[Denny]

[benhall.1]

James Naughtie, a very well-known Radio Presenter, who presents probably the most important breakfast programme in the UK - the Radio 4 Today programme, continued the Dalai Lama joke thus:

So the Dalai Lama gives the pizza guy a tenner for his £5 slice and waits. Eventually the pizza guy says "What re you waiting for?" to which the Lama says "My change". "Ah," says the pizza guy, "change must come from within."

A deathly hush descended on the UK at this point, and tumbleweed could be seen floating about. After several seconds of dead air, Mr Naughtie said "I'll get me coat."

[Denny]

kinda like "the cello on the beach", only backwards!

[Nanohedron]

So the Dalai Lama gives the pizza guy a tenner for his £5 slice and waits. Eventually the pizza guy says "What re you waiting for?" to which the Lama says "My change". "Ah," says the pizza guy, "change must come from within."

Ha! Nice. I recall a clever tip jar at the local coffee shop that read, "If you fear change, leave yours with us."

[Innocent Bystander]

My work explores the relationship between acquired synesthesia and recycling culture.

With influences as diverse as Blake and Andy Warhol, new tensions are generated from both simple and complex meanings.

Ever since I was a teenager I have been fascinated by the theoretical limits of relationships. What starts out as vision soon becomes debased into a hegemony of lust, leaving only a sense of what could have been and the chance of a new reality.

As temporal impressions become clarified through diligent and critical practice, the viewer is left with an impression of the edges of our future.

Diddley diddley dee, diddley diddley da dum,
Diddley diddley dee, diddley diddley da dum.

[MTGuru]

Relax and become, as the Australian TV presenter might say, "one with everything".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GogjFO8GNEo

[Nanohedron]

Relax and become, as the Australian TV presenter might say, "one with everything".

Right. I should turn into a pizza.

Just for the record, that joke goes at least as far back as the 80s, maybe earlier. Sometimes it's hotdogs instead of pizzas, and you can choose from gurus/monks/Hindus/Buddhists/what-have-you. Didn't know about yer man getting clever with the Dalai Lama...that was a destined epic fail just on the language front even though the DL's English chops are pretty substantial. It's a huge risk telling an idiomatic joke like that to an ESL audience; you'd probably have to take 15 minutes to explain it afterward, including how Western preconceived truisms about Eastern thought combined with the idea of food service as a metaphor for the easy route fuels the now-erstwhile joke. But doing it during a granted audience with a mucketymuck no matter how easygoing (as the DL is), and a first meeting at that, on TV in front of the world? You can't ask for a better way to embarrass yourself.