Guitar aquisition disorder--not a pretty sight!

jim stone · Post by **jim stone** » Sat Feb 22, 2003 12:02 pm

Charles 'Boathouse' Haller, the heart of the
Bates Street Folk and Blues Band, and
yours truly, Dogtown Jimmy, went yesterday to Music Folk in Webster Groves to
buy Charles a thumb pick. The staff
of Music Folk, which is a marvelous
store (including whistles and flutes,
guitars, banjos, harps, digerdoos,
mandolins, etc) cringe whenever we
arrive, because they know they
will later spend an hour wiping
drool off the instruments we've
manhandled.

'Hey Charles look at this Taylor'
I said. 'It's a model of the
jumbo Gibson, with maple back and sides,
that Gary Davis used to play. Great
blues guitar.'

So Charles took it off the wall
and played it--then i played it.
When I looked up his eyes were
glazed.

'I've got to have that guitar!' he
said.

'Easy, big fella, it's 1500 bucks.'
But he was already at the counter,
dialing the cordless phone.

'Maggie, I've gotta have this
guitar. It's a steal at 1500 dollars,
it's what i've always dreamed of...
Maggie, Maggie... here talk to Jim'

'Hi Maggie, well, it's really
beautiful and it's worth about
500 more than they're charging.'

'You, you're the one responsible for
this...You sleazy, slimey...

'Charles, take the phone, this isn't
working...'

'Maggie, Maggie....But the kids
don't need to go to college...
Remember when Gabriel was three
he wanted to be a fireman?
Not a bad idea, you know...
The girls can work as waitresses.
Alright, alright, listen I'll
get another job. I'll work the
night shift at Burger King.
Maggie....

'Charles, give the phone again,
will you...Hello Maggie? Jim here.
Listen, he's hyperventilating
pretty bad. How good is your
health insurance?'

Charles grabbed the phone.

'Maggie, I swear, I'll never
want another guitar ever again...
Nothing, never ever again
but this... OH THANKYOU!
THANKYOU!....'

So we bought it, as soon as
the fellas behind the counter
could catch their breath from
laughing at Charles' last
statement. Charles was glassy
eyed on the way home.
'If I die, Jim, you can have
the guitar.'

'Thanks, Charles, but Maggie is
going to sell it, I think. Or perhaps
she'll have you stuffed and put
you in the lazy boy with it
in your hand...'

'Want to come up and say
hello to Maggie?'

'I think I'd better get home. Listen,
there's room on my living room
floor tonight...'

I'm so glad that Charles bought
the guitar, especially because
if he hadn't I would have.
My wife can box. Best

Redwolf · Post by **Redwolf** » Sat Feb 22, 2003 12:10 pm

It's like I always tell my husband...

Be grateful I'm into whistles! It could be worse!

Redwolf

ScottStewart · Post by **ScottStewart** » Sat Feb 22, 2003 12:19 pm

I always tell my wife it could be boats.

Paul · Post by **Paul** » Sat Feb 22, 2003 1:40 pm

On 2003-02-22 13:19, ScottStewart wrote:
I always tell my wife it could be boats.

Oh...I'm gonna use that one! I love it!

Sunnywindo · Post by **Sunnywindo** » Sat Feb 22, 2003 1:43 pm

Oh my! (*Makes mental note that guitar lessons might not be a good idea after all.

)

Yeah.... Whistles are good.

Post by **Nanohedron** » Sat Feb 22, 2003 1:47 pm

Hilarious. That there's some bad GAS, Jimbo!

N, lol

MarkB · Post by **MarkB** » Sat Feb 22, 2003 2:26 pm

I have one guitar that I had bought used -- and I'm very happy with it. But I have been on such trips with other guitar players when they went shopping for guitars or just decided to drop in and look around.

Jim, you describe the affliction right on, I have had to constantly wipe the mouths of my friends as they tried the guitars in the shop. Disgusting, the drool and such. And the store owners let them -- ick!

MarkB

jim stone · Post by **jim stone** » Sat Feb 22, 2003 3:02 pm

I forgot to mention it has
an ebony fingerboard with
mother of pearl inlay,
also a ring of mother
of pearl around the sound
hole...

Mangus Coloradas · Post by **Mangus Coloradas** » Sat Feb 22, 2003 5:53 pm

Personnally, I want a Arabian Horse or a trip to Australia to visit a friend who breeds them. Actually, I want both. I'll probably get what I want when I find a magic bottle with a genie in it or suddenly become a master engraver with access to treasury grade paper, plates, ink, and a good press.
But the thing I want the most is to catch the person who burlerized my house while I was in the hospital and stole the guitar I had had made to fit my hands and had finally paid off the $2,000.00 I spent purchasing it.
Suggestions as to what I do if I ever find that so and so are definately welcome.

Oh, yes, looking at a guitar causes uncontrolable urges to purchases one. That's why my friends blindfold me when we go near a music store.

Mangus Coloradas

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Mangus Coloradas on 2003-02-22 21:25 ]</font>

mamakash · Post by **mamakash** » Sat Feb 22, 2003 8:12 pm

Great story, Jim. The only thing that seperates the men from the boys is the cost of their toys. Too bad we have to clear these purchases with our spouces.
I had a great time picking out my guitar(suzuki dreadnought with solid spruce top), nothing is better than small music stores(your's sounds alot like the place I bought mine from).
Does your friend's wife understand that his promise to never buy another guitar simply holds no water?

Paul Anderson · Post by **Paul Anderson** » Sat Feb 22, 2003 9:47 pm

Jim, I can sympathize (empathize?) with what you went through. I just found a lefty Breedlove 12-string that is to die for (I've been listening to too much Willie McTell and Leo Kottke lately). Did I mention that Taylor has a great Koa 12-string also? My Seagull 12-string needs a mate. Tell your friend's wife that even if her son ends up as a fireman the city may pay for his education and he can practise at work like I do (it beats the hell out of watching "The Bachelorette". If I didn't play left-handed I'd probably be on food stamps by now. As you know, most shops only carry maybe one or two lefty guitars. Ah well, it could be Corvettes or Harleys, right?

dd · Post by dd » Sun Feb 23, 2003 12:51 am

WARNING WARNING TAYLOR SALE!!!

Ok.........thanks for the warning Jim, guess I have to stay out of Music Folk till they finish this up........(Go,,NO,,,but they are on SALE,the martins are lonely, I have deficits in the collection, only have one twelve..they probably have a nice twelve,hmmmm i hear they have ALL those top brands on clearance, NONONONONONONOOOOOOOOOO)

Hmmmmm 6 guitar, 5 banjos,..thats not so many,..ooops..dont forget the mando, the dulicmer...OOOH the harp..forgot the HARP!!
Maybe I need to enlarge the house...a family room...NO A MUSIC ROOM.
OK,,,no more instruments bigger than a bread box.....THAT still leaves rooms for WHISTLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Redwolf · Post by **Redwolf** » Sun Feb 23, 2003 12:59 am

See, hubby, I told you...it could be a lot worse! All I want is whistles. And, well...maybe a harp. I've always wanted a harp. And then there's....

Uh oh! I think he just fainted!

Redwolf

brewerpaul · Post by **brewerpaul** » Sun Feb 23, 2003 5:07 am

Just wanted to entice you guitar folks with this link:
http://www.cathedralmusic.com
This shop is just down the block from my Podiatry office, and Klem carries some of the most beautiful, handmade guitars imaginable. Nice selection of lower priced but good mass produced instruments too. Used also, couple of mandolins, etc from time to time. I have no commercial interest etc... nice guy, nice instruments, reasonable prices. Tell him Paul sent you.

Damien · Post by **Damien** » Sun Feb 23, 2003 12:56 pm

all i want for christmas is a paul reed smith hollow-body and a martin acoustic-electric ;X

oh and a bass stack and a guitar stack, and a couple copeland whistles, and turntables, and a few extra (million) dollars.

that's it, i promise..

... well maybe a ...