Oooo... only one I know I read years ago in some novel...
The definition of a gentleman is a man who can play bagpipes but chooses not to.
Jokes
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BrassBlower
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Q: What did the Scotsman say when he saw his first uilleann pipes?
A: You'd better kill it before it grows up!
A: You'd better kill it before it grows up!
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I do not feel obliged to believe that that same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
-Galileo
I do not feel obliged to believe that that same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
-Galileo
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osage59
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octopus & bagpipes
[Zombie Alert! - Mod]
The following was left over from yesterday's festivities.....I know, it's an old one
An Englishman walks into a pub with an octopus. He sits the octopus down on a stool and tell everyone in the pub this is a very talented animal. "He can play any musical instrument in the world."
Everyone in the pub laughs, calling him an idiot. So he says that he will bet $50 to anyone who has an instrument that the octopus can't play.
A Welshman walks up with a guitar and sets it beside the octopus. Immediately the octopus picks up the guitar and starts playing better than Segovia. The Welshman pays his $50.
Another Englishman walks up with a trumpet. This time the octopus plays the trumpet better than Miles Davis. This Englishman also pays up his $50.
Then a Scotsman walks up with some bagpipes. He gives them to the octopus who fumbles around with them in a confused fashion for several minutes.
"Ha!" the Scot says, "Can ye nae play it?"
The octopus looks up at him and says, "Play it? I'm going to make love to it as soon as I figure out how to get it's pyjamas off!"
The following was left over from yesterday's festivities.....I know, it's an old one
An Englishman walks into a pub with an octopus. He sits the octopus down on a stool and tell everyone in the pub this is a very talented animal. "He can play any musical instrument in the world."
Everyone in the pub laughs, calling him an idiot. So he says that he will bet $50 to anyone who has an instrument that the octopus can't play.
A Welshman walks up with a guitar and sets it beside the octopus. Immediately the octopus picks up the guitar and starts playing better than Segovia. The Welshman pays his $50.
Another Englishman walks up with a trumpet. This time the octopus plays the trumpet better than Miles Davis. This Englishman also pays up his $50.
Then a Scotsman walks up with some bagpipes. He gives them to the octopus who fumbles around with them in a confused fashion for several minutes.
"Ha!" the Scot says, "Can ye nae play it?"
The octopus looks up at him and says, "Play it? I'm going to make love to it as soon as I figure out how to get it's pyjamas off!"
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benhall.1
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Re: Jokes
er ... did you pick that up from the previous page, osage? What struck me was the (I can't be bothered to check, but it looks like ...) identical wording. I wonder if that joke has an official, written in stone, source?
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MTGuru
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Re: Jokes
I'm experiencing déja vu all over again.
Not only that, but I'm also experiencing déja vu all over again.
Vivat diabolus in musica! MTGuru's (old) GG Clips / Blackbird Clips
Joel Barish: Is there any risk of brain damage?
Dr. Mierzwiak: Well, technically speaking, the procedure is brain damage.
Joel Barish: Is there any risk of brain damage?
Dr. Mierzwiak: Well, technically speaking, the procedure is brain damage.
Re: Jokes
youse guyz are so negative.....
they just copied it from the same place and pasted it here
they just copied it from the same place and pasted it here
Picture a bright blue ball just spinning, spinning free
It's dizzying, the possibilities. Ashes, Ashes all fall down.
It's dizzying, the possibilities. Ashes, Ashes all fall down.
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osage59
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Re: Jokes
Yes, I did. But it was a new joke to me that I heard on the radio on St Patricks Day - so I googled "bagpipes & octopus" and viola, there was the joke! It then occurred to me that this joke had surely been posted here - and it was - so I (being lazy) just copied it, you know, to give it new life.benhall.1 wrote:er ... did you pick that up from the previous page, osage?
I have no idea why a talking octopus cracks me up, but it does.
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Nanohedron
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- Tell us something.: Been a fluter, citternist, and uilleann piper; committed now to the way of the harp.
Oh, yeah: also a mod here, not a spammer. A matter of opinion, perhaps. - Location: Lefse country
Re: Jokes
So Buck Rogers' robot Tweaky goes to the clinic for a checkup. "Not so good news," said the doctor. "I'm afraid you have diabeedybeedybeedies."
"If you take music out of this world, you will have nothing but a ball of fire." - Balochi musician
