Prayers, thoughts, good vibes, spells of healing...
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- Cynth
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I'm so sorry for all those who have been affected. I hope the experiences related here will be helpful to you in coming to terms with your feelings about yourself and others who were involved with your friend. What a hard thing.
Diligentia maximum etiam mediocris ingeni subsidium. ~ Diligence is a very great help even to a mediocre intelligence.----Seneca
- Wombat
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Good advice but incredibly hard to implement. You also have to forgive yourself if you can't give up the anger easily, even if it is irrational.The Weekenders wrote:You can't be angry at yourself. You can't save people who have kept their afflictions secret then expressed them in a final act. You just can't.
Mourn the loss but do not be angry at yourself for missing something. Please.
Peace and solace to you.
In the case I alluded to, how does a parent give up the idea that they couldn't have done better by their dead son, even though he had a diagnosed mental disorder? As a friend, you just hope they can.
For those of us a bit more removed, it's still hard. I think you go through being angry with yourself—I should have seen it coming—and being angry with him—he should have given a clearer hint—and you are still angry. I think you are angry with the cosmos, or, to be less dramatic, with a social world that accords so little importance to mental health and then treats personal tragedies as mysteries when they occur. And, truth to tell, I think mental health and balance in life rate almost nowhere in the values promoted in schools and in the media. Greed, cheap celebrity, something for nothing, reward luck rather than talent and cultivate the voyeur in yourself.
I think that, even if we do what we can to improve our social world—acknowledging the depth and prevalence of male depression is now the subject of a public awareness campaign in Australia—it is still unrealistic to expect people to see trouble that isn't clearly signalled. And we can do a little to make it easier for those at risk to signal their distress more clearly. But that is for society as a whole to deal with; no individual can do it, one on one, for everyone they know who might be at risk.
- Innocent Bystander
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- Tyler
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- anniemcu
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Hey, Tyler, how are you doing today? I was too sick to go to the visitation for my daughter's beaux today... so sad for all going through such stuff.
The biggest thing, I think, is to remember that there are loads of folks who have made it through, and we can too. The pain will never go away, but it will reach a tolerable level in the not terribly distant future. Hang in there, my friend.
The biggest thing, I think, is to remember that there are loads of folks who have made it through, and we can too. The pain will never go away, but it will reach a tolerable level in the not terribly distant future. Hang in there, my friend.
anniemcu
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"You are what you do, not what you claim to believe." -Gene A. Statler
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"Olé to you, none-the-less!" - Elizabeth Gilbert
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http://www.sassafrassgrove.com
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"You are what you do, not what you claim to believe." -Gene A. Statler
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"Olé to you, none-the-less!" - Elizabeth Gilbert
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http://www.sassafrassgrove.com
- dwinterfield
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Too tongue tied to say what I'm feeling. Sorry for your loss Tyler. Same for you Annie.
It's been a tough year. I've been to way too many funerals (5) though they were not for folks so close as your loss and they'd had many more years before they moved on.
Sometimes Spring is just another season. This year it feels like more than that.
It's been a tough year. I've been to way too many funerals (5) though they were not for folks so close as your loss and they'd had many more years before they moved on.
Sometimes Spring is just another season. This year it feels like more than that.
- peeplj
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Tyler, I'm so sorry.
We had a friend suicide last year. It seems to be a particularly hard kind of death to get over.
Fact is, last year was a bad year for illness and death. Hopefully this year will prove to be better for everyone.
--James
We had a friend suicide last year. It seems to be a particularly hard kind of death to get over.
Fact is, last year was a bad year for illness and death. Hopefully this year will prove to be better for everyone.
--James
http://www.flutesite.com
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"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending" --Carl Bard
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"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending" --Carl Bard
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