Here’s a conundrum: How did Cicero know what year he was born?
And was there truly an identifiable Italian cuisine Before Cheese?
djm
To say nothing of tomatoes.
I’m sure his mother told him.
No, the Romans could often be heard asking “Garcon, what the hell is this?”
To which Italic waiters would say “I can’t tell, sir. We don’t have cheese yet.”
Of course, modern Italian waiters get the same question. Luckily they can
now identify the dish by testing the cheese makeup: “Hm. 20% feta, 80%
gorgonzola, that would be penna with vodka sauce.”
Al Gore rocked the pizza industry when he invented tomatoes.
I thought Al only invented tomato seeds.
Well, of course, you know I meant indirectly…
I have it on good authority that pasta wasn’t introduced from China by Marco Polo - it was invented by that canny Roman entrepreneur, Al Dente (whose cousin, “Memento” Morrie, made a killing in the tourism rackets selling souvenirs).
It’s true. Morrie later wrote a history of Italy called Journey Through The Pasta, illustrated by Giuseppe Elbow, inventor of elbow macaroni.
I find this extremely unlikely. Wouldn’t Italic waiters be more likely to say something like, “I can’t tell, sir. We don’t have cheese yet.”
djm
Thank goodness for salted fish and garlic.
I have a theory that the Roman armies didn’t so much as conquer populations as they expanded but subdued them with their aroma.
Darius the Great did much the same thing with white onions.
Julius Caesar invaded Britain in 55 BC. Very wise. He knew that 55 years was exactly the right length of time to establish himself before those pesky Christians got themselves ensconced. I always wanted to do history at uni, but I was too thick so I did science instead.
That’s a rather bold statement to make.
To boldly go … and just keep on going. 
djm