The Pooka’s Ride
The sun rose long before Paddy Hogan that Tuesday. The festivities the night before had stretched into the wee hours of the morning, and this being long before the days of alarm clocks and other such things invented by man and despised forever afterwards, resulted in a late sleep for the old piper.
Paddy was, you see, the greatest piper in all of Munster in those pre-famine days when Gaelic still echoed in the glens and a man with quick fingers could still make a living piping or harping or fiddling.
But Paddy did eventually rise, as he always had each morning until the day he rose no more. Paddy spent every morning for twenty years trying to solve a problem that had plagued him. You see, despite all his talent he had never written a tune worthy of the greatest piper in Munster. Sure, he had written tunes before, and all of them quite good, but none had that special anamceoil befitting attachment of his name.
But this morning was unlike the others. The night before, at the dance, he had been talking with some of his neighbors and the talk turned to leprechauns.
Leprechauns are funny creatures, you see, but I would never tell one that to his face. If ever you manage to catch one he will grant you three wishes to let him go. Now, Paddy Hogan, Jim Sweeny, and Seán Dempsey knew this, and resolved to catch not only an average, everyday type leprechaun, but no less than the King of the Leprechauns himself, Finbar Greenjacket, and split the wishes between them.
Jim Sweeny, you see, raised pigs, or tried to raise pigs. I say “tried to” because he was never very good at it. For some reason, his sows never gave milk, which makes it difficult indeed to raise piglets. Seán Dempsey, on the other hand, had fallen in love with Nora Cullen but never had the courage to ask her to marry him (Seán was the youngest of the three). Each intended to use his wish to remedy his particular problem.
Now, catching a leprechaun is certainly difficult enough, but to try to capture no less than the King of the Leprechauns many regard as madness, for Finbar Greenjacket is a wily trickster indeed, and challenging such an ancient and powerful leprechaun is outright dangerous.
But that wasn’t going to stop Paddy, Jim, and Seán. They knew that every year on the same night the leprechauns and the faeries would meet at the foot of the Rock of Cashel to do battle. They had resolved to meet there and during the chaos of the battle seize the King of the Leprechauns, Finbar Greenjacket.
On the appointed night, the three met in the ruins of the Rock of Cashel and concealed themselves so they could not be seen. Neither the leprechauns nor the faeries could set foot on the Rock itself, it being holy ground. There were no people about, for everyone knew that on this night supernatural forces would meet for battle, and all were advised to lock themselves indoors until sunrise.
At the stroke of midnight there was a huge clap of thunder and the battle was joined. A fantastic show of flashing light and booming sound unfolded before Paddy, Jim, and Seán. The three were terrified, for never before had they seen such a display. They were so terrified that all three forgot to seize Finbar Greenjacket.
At three o’clock in the morning the battle was over, the faeries had been chased from the field. Once the flashing lights and booming sounds had ended the three remembered what they had come there to do that night, but the leprechauns were already hurrying back to their cnoc, which in the old tongue is pronounced “knock.” Now, you must realize that leprechauns live under hills, much like their cousins and their faerie mounds, which are called sí, which in the old tongue are pronounced 'she." Leprechaun hills are always bigger on the inside than they are on the outside, and have a secret entrance that only the leprechauns themselves know about.
The three crept along behind the retiring leprechauns. They went unnoticed because the leprechauns were used to the townspeople staying indoors on that special night. Over many hills and streams they followed the distant torch light of the leprechaun army. Without torches of their own they could barely make out the ground under their feet and each stumbled many times in ruts or over stones.
After what seemed like ages, the three could see the leprechauns’ torches disappear at a point in the distance. As they came nearer they could see in the torch light of the last few leprechauns that the entire army had descended an old stone well that was at the foot of a smallish hill.
Now, none of the three was very learned in matters supernatural, but there are very few people in the whole of Ireland that would not have realized that they had stumbled across the secret entrance to Finbar Greenjacket’s Cnoc.
The three stood around for a few moments staring down the gaping mouth of the well. None of them had ever seen anything so dark and foreboding. After a short while, Paddy said, “Well, better get what we came for,” and slowly descended the well using the uneven stones that made up its walls.
Jim and Seán continued to stare into the blackness for awhile, and just as they were about to turn back, a dark raven landed on the ground nearby and started to caw.
“Well, isn’t that a queer thing,” said Seán, “a bird like that flying about at this time of night.”
“More devilish than queer.” said Jim, “Dark well or no, I’d be much happier if we stuck together. Sure that bird is an omen.” And Jim descended the well leaving Seán in the dark with the raven.
“I can’t let them have all the wishes,” he said to himself, “after what I’ve seen tonight I deserve what I came for.” And he followed Jim down the stones.
The floor of the well was about thirty feet down, and there was no water in it. A crack in the wall led to a low tunnel such that a man had to bend to fit, but the Wee People could stand straight. After a bit they managed to catch up to Paddy, who was groping in the dark.
“Jaysus, ye’ll give me my death of fright!” Paddy exclaimed in a hoarse whisper when he realized they were behind him.
“Sorry, Paddy,” said Seán, “but there was this raven and…”
“Sssh!” exclaimed Paddy with a wave of his hand. Faintly the three could hear music and singing. Following the sounds of merriment, they came to a well lit hall which seemed impossibly large. It was the Great Hall of Finbar Greenjacket. There were tall columns brought back from the Roman town of Luguvaltium. Piles of gold from Viking settlements lay between the columns and the walls decorated with Greek sculpture and Chinese tapestries. Besides all the priceless and ancient treasures wrought by human hands over the centuries, there were numerous magical faerie harps strung with silver and gold. They concealed themselves behind some of the piles of coins and precious things and watched the feast going on in the center of the Great Hall to celebrate that year’s victory over the faeries of Sí Beg.
The three were so awed by the wealth of treasure surrounding them that they didn’t notice the leprechauns surrounding them.
Without saying a word, the three were brought before a small man in a green jacket seated on a gold throne that once belonged to Constantine the Great. He had flaming red hair and bushy sideburns.
“Why have you trespassed in my Hálla Mór?” he asked in a booming voice that frightened the three men.
“We came for you.” Answered Paddy after a few moments in the most courageous voice he could muster.
“Well here I am. Now what do you intend to do?” asked the miniature monarch quizzically.
“We’re going to capture you for our three wishes.” Answered Paddy.
“But it would appear that it is I who have captured you, so will you grant me three wishes?”
The three realized the full scope of the difficulty in which they now found themselves. All were visibly nervous except for Paddy, who was just as nervous as they were, mind you, but better at hiding it.
“And what’s more,” continued Finbar, “now that you have seen the inside of a leprechaun cnoc you cannot ever leave.” With these words, the three men’s hearts sank.
After a short time, Paddy spoke up, “Well, we Hogans are famously long-lived, and if I’m going to spend much time here I’m going to need my pipes.”
“Ah, so yer a piper are ye?” asked Finbar with delight, “Sure I invented the pipes don’t ye know!”
“I’m am the best piper in all of Munster,” replied Paddy, “and the better part of Connacht, as well.”
A great big smile covered the ancient leprechaun’s face from his left ear to his right one. Now you must know that Finbar Greenjacket loved chance and luck and all such fantastic things, and he also loved music. “Let me propose a bet of sorts,” said he, “that you and I have a duel of pipes. If ye play something that I cannot play back by ear, I will give ye yer three wishes and let ye all go home.”
“And if you win?” asked Paddy.
“Well then you three must stay here for the rest of yer lives.” Replied Finbar matter-of-factly.
Paddy didn’t have much choice to refuse if he and his friends ever hoped to see the light of day again. “I agree to your terms,” said he.
There were several sets of uilleann pipes in the cnoc, and Paddy was handed one. Finbar and he traded off tunes for eight hours without a clear winner. Paddy’s friends began to grow very tired as tune after tune filled the Hálla Mór. They were about ready to fall asleep, resigned to their underground existence when Paddy played a tune that ended on a low note. It was a D for those of you who are interested, but not just any D. It had a ghostly, ethereal quality to it and when Finbar played the tune back, he could not mimic that sound. Try as he might, he just couldn’t make his pipes sing like Paddy. This ghostly note was created by pipers long after Finbar stopped interacting with the outside world.
Very calmly he said, “Show me how to play that ghost note and I will give ye yer three wishes.”
Now it must be said that it is a well known fact throughout Ireland that leprechauns are never happy about losing, and happier even less about having to grant wishes. Because of this, it is a leprechaun’s consolation to twist the words of a wish maker into something quite the opposite of what they had intended so that they wish they had one more wish, so that they could take back the other three.
Because of this, Jim and Seán were terrified of opening their mouths. If an average, everyday sort of leprechaun could be so malicious, just imagine how much more powerful a wish foiled by the King of the Leprechauns himself.
Indeed, Seán was so worried that he said out loud, “Oh, grand! Now the King of the Leprechauns is going to use my wish to turn me into a toad or something. I wish we’d never seen that cursed raven.” And both he and Jim disappeared in two little puffs of smoke. The two of them, remember, only descended the well because they had been scared by the raven. Paddy, however, followed the leprechauns down the well because he wanted his wish.
“What have you done with my friends?” asked Paddy.
“I simply granted the young fella’s wish.” Answered Finbar.
“Which was?” persisted Paddy.
Finbar replied, “That the two of them had never seen a raven last night. You see, they were frightened into following you down the well by an ominous raven. If they had never seen it, neither would have had the courage to come down here. So I granted his wish and the two are right now at home in bed, never having come down here in the first place. That means both remaining wishes belong to you.”
Now within his grasp was the tune that Paddy had been trying to write. All he had to do was make the appropriate wish. But it is at this point in our story that something amazing and spectacular happened, and because of it, something even more amazing and spectacular happened afterwards. Paddy never did wish for his tune. After giving it much thought about how to outsmart the leprechaun with his wording, and remembering his friends, he made his wishes.
“First,” he said, “I wish that Jim Sweeny would be a successful pig farmer until the end of his long days.”
“Done,” said Finbar, a little surprised.
“And second,” continued Paddy, “I wish that Seán Dempsey and Nora Cullen soon begin a long and happy marriage.”
“Also done,” said Finbar, utterly taken aback. “May I ask why ye didn’t make yer own wish?”
Paddy answered, “Both Jim and Seán are much younger than I, and have, God willing, many more years on this earth.”
“So?” Asked Finbar, as puzzled as ever.
“Well,” said Paddy, “they’ve many more years than I to be miserable if they don’t have their wishes.”
Finbar was dumbstruck by Paddy’s generosity of spirit. In all his centuries, a kindhearted man like Paddy was rare indeed, especially when it came to making wishes.
“Well,” said Finbar, “it’s time for my end of the bargain, ye may go. When ye climb to the top of the well ye’ll find my horse grazing on the hill. It is night again, and I don’t want ye to be attacked by bandits, so sit on my horse and he will take ye safely home.”
Paddy thanked Finbar for holding to his end of the bargain (it is always wise to thank a leprechaun for something that is a benefit to you) and made his way back up the well. As he emerged from the darkness of the well into the darkness of the night he heard a horse snort on the hill.
As Paddy approached him the horse didn’t make a move, but when he sat on his back he discovered that it wasn’t a horse at all. No, quite a different creature concealed by leprechaun magic, for it was a pooka. As soon as Paddy sat on his back it assumed its natural form and the steed grew to ten times the size of a man and shot fire from its nostrils. It began to gallop away shooting lightning from his hooves. With every step he covered a tenth of a mile and Paddy could barely hang on for dear life.
It galloped around the whole of Ireland from the quays of Cork to the Giant’s Causeway. It leapt over the sea and galloped past Big Ben in London and the Arc in Paris. It splashed in a Roman fountain and climbed the Acropolis. It clambered down the holy streets of Jerusalem and past the Taj Mahal in India. It then turned around and sped along the top of the Great Wall in China and the snowy hills of Russia before stopping in front of Paddy’s own door shortly before sunrise on Thursday Morning.
Grateful to be on the ground again, and eager to preserve the heady experience he just had, Paddy sat down to write a tune, inspired by his midnight jaunt. He then grabbed his pipes and went over to Jim’s cottage to play it for him.
“Yer not going to believe this, Jim!” shouted Paddy as he ran up the path. As he ran past the sties he noticed all the piglets hungrily suckling. “You have to hear this, Jim!”
Jim stood in the door, his eyes still heavy with sleep. “Jaysus, Paddy, I thought you’d died down that well!”
Paddy was too excited to try explaining all the things that happened but Jim didn’t remember.
Paddy began to play the tune he had just written and when he was through Jim said, “Sure that’s the most fantastic thing I’ve ever heard. What’s it called?”
“The Pooka’s Ride.” Replied Paddy as he began to understand that Finbar had treated him with compassion which is an amazing and spectacular thing for a leprechaun to do.
By tricking Paddy into riding the pooka Finbar found a way to grant Paddy’s wish for himself, the wish Paddy didn’t get to make, that is.
As Jim and Paddy sat over tea discussion a fantastic “dream” Paddy had, Seán and Nora came up the path.
“Paddy I thought we’d lost you!” exclaimed Seán. Paddy just smiled. “I have great news. I mean, we have great news,” continued Seán, “Nora and I are to be married in a fortnight.” They both congratulated the soon-to-be newlyweds.
After a time, talk turned to their plans that Tuesday night.
“So what was at the bottom of that well?” asked Jim.
Paddy thought, knowing they would never believe his story.
“Sure, t’was just the bottom of a well.” He replied.
SIN É
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