Career Advice Please!

[MTGuru]

Could it be that, after years of moderating the Chiffboard, MTGuru is looking for a new career direction? Yes!!!

Is it possible that, after hours and hours watching The History Channel for its educational value, MTGuru has decided on new field of study? Yes!!!

I want to be an Ancient Astronaut Theorist.

Problem is, I can't find a single accredited degree program. Only history and anthropology and other boring stuff. Could it be that I will never realize my dream?

My credentials are impeccable. I studied archaeology. I once met Erich von Däniken. I live next to Nevada, home of Area 51. I've been to Stonehenge, Newgrange and Carnac. I can ask leading questions, and I can say, "Yes!!!". If I don't comb my hair for a week, it looks at least as bad as this.

Please note, I am interested in Ancient Astronaut Theory only. A course in Applied Ancient Astronautics or Ancient Astronaut Engineering will simply not cut it.

Thank you.

[benhall.1]

Almost too obvious to say, really, but you have read all of Lovecraft and the Necronomicon, haven't you?

[MTGuru]

What!?! I don't want to read books. Clearly, the ancient astronaut theorists on The History Channel haven't read books. We're talking theory here.

[maki]

Fortunately, no credentials are needed.
You are already over qualified!

And having met you I will further say that your long hair and beard
Will make you a perfect TV face/persona!

[MTGuru]

Fortunately, no credentials are needed.
You are already over qualified!

I think we're both overqualified, maki. My Pet Rock is overqualified. But apparently, a degree in sports helps to undo that.

Have you thought about our session in Long Beach? A long beach makes a perfect landing strip for alien spaceships. Could it be that our session is really a high council of extraterrestrials? Ancient astronaut theorists say: Yes!!!

[maki]

I suspected as much.
The level of play has always been other-worldly.
I had thought that my play wouldn't be good enough, but now I'm certain.

BTW, its never too early to practice your breathless crop circle commentary.
"It couldn't have possibly been made by human hands!!"

[Nanohedron]

I want to be an Ancient Astronaut Theorist.

On television. On television. Don't forget that part. Otherwise you'll just have a basement cubicle under a bare lightbulb and ain't gonna make squat.

Problem is, I can't find a single accredited degree program.

That never stopped Tsoukalos. He's got the right idea.

If I don't comb my hair for a week, it looks at least as bad as this.

You know, he only does his hair like that for his shows or promos. He totally knows what he's doing rocking the madman-in-a-sharp-suit look. It's a brilliant stroke of genius.

He looks kinda baked all the time, too.

[fiddlerwill]

http://eclinik.wordpress.com/2013/11/30 ... g-history/

[MTGuru]

http://eclinik.wordpress.com/2013/11/30 ... g-history/

A great tip, thanks! I'll keep in mind that running a metal fabrication shop can be another path to ancient astronaut theoreticianhood. I could even make a few whistles along the way.

In fact, counting the bell end, there are seven vent holes on a whistle. And there are seven stars in the Pleiades, home constellation of the ancient astronauts according to Semir Osmanagich above. Coincidence? Could it be that Subaru (which means Pleiades) is a front for infiltrating alien vehicle technology? Might the guy's name spelled backwards - Chiganamso Remis - mean "All your base are belong to us" in an alien language?

I think I'm getting the hang of this.

[Nanohedron]

I'll help. Could it be that beekeeping was taught to us by aliens? Is that what Pieter Breugel the Elder was trying to tell us?

[MTGuru]

I'll help. Could it be that beekeeping was taught to us by aliens? Is that what Pieter Breugel the Elder was trying to tell us?

That makes sense. Everyone knows that bees are aerodynamically incapable of flying. So their flight must be a result of anti-gravity technology programmed into their DNA by those flat-faced guys. Who look pretty sneaky to me, especially the one on the left, and the lookout in the tree watching for "homines nigro vestiti". Definitely aliens.

Is it coincidence that Mead, made from honey, is also a brand of telescope used for observing extraterrestrial entities? Well, is it?

[swizzlestick]

But the Subaru logo only contains six stars. Which must mean the hidden seventh star is their home star system! (I think you have all you need for an hour long TV special already.)

[chas]

Almost too obvious to say, really, but you have read all of Lovecraft and the Necronomicon, haven't you?

Corollary:

Is Miskatonic University no longer accredited?

[mutepointe]

I want to be an Ancient Astronaut Theorist.

Nice choice. Us Illuminati appreciate your diversionary tactics.

[fearfaoin]

But apparently, a degree in sports helps to undo that.

Woah, woah, woah. Sports information!
The world needs people to keep us informed ... about sports! God knows I wallow in ignorance.