insults

seanny · Post by **seanny** » Thu Dec 12, 2002 3:35 pm

has anyone else been the target of insults about their piping?

i've done a lot busking and a lot of the time have been fortunate enough to received compliments about my playing or just appreciation of the sound of the instrument.
This hasn't always been the case though. Some of the insults have included:

"you'd be better off putting a hole in your head" (i didn't mind this on - is sounded like a bit of good natured badinage)

"how much do i have to pay you to stop making that vile noise?"

a woman (the girlfriend of the above man) stopped me playing on another occasion to tell me "i can't pass you be without telling you that i can not appreciate what you're doing - you've been playing the same tune all night, it's all the same thing, can't you knock it on the head - I just had to tell you"

another man with whom i had clashed with a couple of times (not on purpose on my part - he thought he could stop buskers from playing on the main street of a street popular with tourists) the last time I spoke to me said "you're a f******g c**t and we're going to do something about you"

another time a girl stopped to listen and talk and then at the end smiled and said "if you were any good i'd give you some money"

another time a man walking past made a point of treating my case as though it was part of the pavement - after this he walked on and said menacing way "remember i'm from here - you're not"

others have gobbed in my case - some have crept up behind me to squeeze the bag when i'm playing

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: seanny on 2002-12-12 16:39 ]</font>

AlanB · Post by **AlanB** » Thu Dec 12, 2002 3:44 pm

Seanny,
I think it happens to any busker regardless of their instrument. I've had the police/mad glue sniffers/priests etc., give me problems. (The glue sniffer was the politest). What can you do???? (shrug)

Alan

tok · Post by **tok** » Thu Dec 12, 2002 4:51 pm

Had a guy,Harvard proffessor, say to me ,after listening to a few tunes, you Irish are so stuck in the past . Then a big bus rolled past , smogging up my reeds . So I paid the parking lot fee $ 20 and went home . Past the guys from peru raking it in playing pan pipes .Dionys, do I qualify for a free reed ?? LOL

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: tok on 2002-12-12 17:54 ]</font>

marcpipes · Post by **marcpipes** » Thu Dec 12, 2002 5:08 pm

The run of the mill insults come from people who really cant't think of any thing to say that's funny, so the turn to their Captain Whizbang book of Insults and Snappy Putdowns
Insults from "witty" trash I've met:
1. I'll bet you've got a lot of hot air.
(Even more when I burn your house down)
2. I'll bet people tell you to go bag it! Har Har (hiccup) Har!
(Only once)
3. What do you wear under that thing?
(Your spouse)
4. Do you guys make up these songs as you go along?
(Yes we're a psychic pipeband able to improvise in unison at all times)
5. Can I request a song? Do you know how to play "Far far away"?
(Write a tune of that name play it and innocently say how pleased you are that they know your compositions.)
6. What made you want to learn THOSE things?
(I really love assinine questions and this was the best way to attract them)
7. Why is that thing (uilleann pipe)played sitting down? Are you lazy or something?
(No, smart!)
8. That thing sounds like you're f*****g a sheep. (OH, are you getting nostalgic?)

Sometimes even their insults backfire:
I was practising higland in my backyard around 6:30 one summer night. A neighbor down the block took offense to me, stuck her head out the door and threatened to call the cops. I couldn't see her and definitely couldn't hear her so I kept playing and she kept shouting. (Another neighbor was watching all the fun, but he didn't think to warn me but told me her reactions afterwords.) Two minutes later the cop car is driving up the alley and stops by my yard. There she stands, triumphant in her doorway, knowing I was going to get mine. I took down my pipesand aksed if I had done anything wrong. Says the cop: "NO, can you play Danny Boy?" So he and his partner get out, listen to a few jigs and reels, shake my hand and drive off. The lady neighbor had a look on her face that could curdle milk at 20 paces.
Marc

Dionys · Post by **Dionys** » Thu Dec 12, 2002 6:08 pm

Tok.. Everyone has a chance

Bus-smog from busking clogging up a reed is certainly a better reason than "I sat on my reed when I was polishing the brass on my set so it would look good because I can't play well." Though it doesn't rank quite as high as "I lost my best reed when performing for dying orphans and one of them pee'd on it."

One of the dangers of busking are the people wandering around on the streets. You may be an excellent piper, or a poor one, but at least you're trying and have the courage to play in public. You will always have nay-sayers no matter your level. The best thing to do is ignore them. When they get physically abusive (like kicking your case or attacking you), report them to the police (but only if you're sure of the busking laws).

One of my friends who busks on a regular basis (but plays guitar and sings) was kicked in the head by someone high on crystal meth, so be glad if you haven't been physically attacked or had your pipes damaged.

As for the girl that smiled, but said she would have given you money if you were any good -- At least she smiled. From the right people, smiles are as good as money.

Dionys

Uilliam · Post by **Uilliam** » Fri Dec 13, 2002 3:38 am

I was busking in London one day and a rather noblesse sort of woman on entering the British Museum said to me as she passed "oh how lovely!! its years since I've heard the Northumbrian Pipes and blithely went on" now that is what I call an insult!
Alan I'm a bit worried .....the PRIEST? you can tell me in confidence!!!!!!!!
Slan go foill
Liam

AlanB · Post by **AlanB** » Fri Dec 13, 2002 4:45 am

Sort of on this topic, I was once asked "do you make your own air" (having several Guinness' inside it was pretty obvious

)
and another "I couldn't see if you had them plugged in or not (to the mains I presume)"
Cheers
Alan

(Liam.. It was in Cornwall, a diferrent breed of priest down there!)

Patrick D'Arcy · Post by **Patrick D'Arcy** » Fri Dec 13, 2002 12:32 pm

Hey Seanny,

I used to busk every now and then but the main problem was being heard so I presume you're talking about highland pipes? In which case I can understand people getting pi$$ed off at you

*Those* pipes are loud and when played over and over and over again and the *same tune* to boot (or was that an ignoramous that though all this music sounds the same?) is like Chinese water torture.

I also find that when in any form of company a piper is better off waiting to be asked to play rather than just taking the pipes out and playing.

Patrick.

seamus clark · Post by **seamus clark** » Fri Dec 13, 2002 3:57 pm

hmm, it's funny no-one has ever harrased me busking much less tried touching my pipes or bag, I wonder if it's because i'm 6'2 240lbs and usually wearing a Hells Angels t-shirt ???
seamus

marcpipes · Post by **marcpipes** » Fri Dec 13, 2002 5:11 pm

A few years ago, I used to play for tips at a local street art fair. Never much of any problems either. Nice people, good reception, etc. Once though, I took down my pipes and an older man walks up to me grinning, "Och laddie, I just got off the plane from Glasgow and you make me feel right at home already." He pulls a five from his pocket and leans over to put it in my tip can. Nice tip I thought! Then he reaches in and says "'Ere, gimme four singles." Well at least I got the dollar.

tok · Post by **tok** » Fri Dec 13, 2002 8:11 pm

I did a wedding and these people came up after and asked me , "where'sthe motor "? They could not see the bellows cause they were way in the back or something ,, wheres the motor ? lol

brianc · Post by **brianc** » Fri Dec 13, 2002 11:05 pm

I've never been busking, but at some of the weddings I've played, I've been asked a few of the questions that were posed above - "Where's the motor", etc. etc.

However, the plight of a musician being heckled reminded me of the FANTASTIC comeback that was brought forth by the great pianist and humorist, Victor Borge.

It seems he was playing at a rather high-brow, black-tie affair in his earlier days, and during the evening, a rather large and very rude woman approached him and began demanding that he play this, and play that, and do this, but not that, ad nauseum.

Finally, after being ignored several times, the woman pushed Borge aside, and sat right down on the piano keys.

As the loud and awful sound began to subside, Borge loudly exclaimed, "My goodness! FOUR OCTAVES!"

With that, the large rude woman waddled away.

And Borge carried on with his music, much to the delight of the dinner party attendees.

Pat Cannady · Post by **Pat Cannady** » Sat Dec 14, 2002 8:41 pm

God love ya, Victor:)