Walking around as a woman

[sbfluter]

I like to walk. I like to do my shopping on foot. Since I walk a lot I walk pretty fast and purposefully.

I'm not a terribly good-looking woman. I'm pretty ordinary. Maybe a little strange since I walk around a lot.

Anyway, when walking around I find getting stuck behind some slower-moving guy to be terribly annoying, especially if the guy looks a little iffy. I can either walk slower so he doesn't see me, or else I have to walk by him. I hate doing that. I will sometimes step into the street so that I don't have to pass him very closely. Today I had to do that at least 3 times.

This is even worse on a bicycle, by the way, because the men respond to my presence more often, and it doesn't matter if they are creepy or regular men. Men do not like being passed by women on bicycles and they will go to great lengths to ensure that it doesn't happen, including passing you again right away just to let you know they are better than you. It makes just getting where you are going turn into a very exasperating experience.

Why do I tell you this? I suspect that many men have no clue how much strategy goes into a simple act like going for a walk, and might be surprised.

As a female, I have to think about these things all the time. I will limit the places I go, the means by which I get there, change my route in the middle of going somewhere, and all manner of similar things. Do I seem paranoid? I've experienced the consequences of not being vigilant, such as hearing words I'd rather not, feeling hands placed where I'd rather they weren't and seeing body parts I would rather not see.

People like to say it's so dangerous in the wilderness. But those creepy guys are not out there. Creepy guys are almost universally pantywaists incapable of walking further than the nearest place to buy booze and cigaretes.

Since I live near booze and cigarettes, these creeps are readily available in my daily life every day. It's something I have to deal with all the time. I refuse to turn into a pantywaist myself, driving everywhere even if it's only a couple of blocks.

[cowtime]

I know what you mean. It's true, except that creepy guys are out there- in the wilderness too. Just not so many.


I wonder just how many men have even thought of stuff like this....

[sbfluter]

I don't know, but once I had very very short hair. I went out with a big jacket and had the distinct feeling that the men out there thought I was a man. It was this incredible free feeling I felt walking by a large group of young ones. They did not react at all. It's hard to describe. I'm not sexy or anything like that normally, but even so, men usually react in some way, especially groups of young men. Feeling like I could walk among them unnoticed felt extremely powerful.

[Denny]

I wonder just how many men have even thought of stuff like this....

at least a few....some of us might have been used on occasion to alleviate that concern.


Oh, I've accompanied men that had concerns also!


ah, SB, they've made plays/movies 'bout that girls posin' as a boy thing, ya know!

[Thomaston]

I wonder just how many men have even thought of stuff like this....

I think about it every day at the gym as I work out amongst the scantily-clad college girls.
I try not to be the creepy guy. It usually works.

EDIT: I read too fast. It looks like we're talking about entirely different levels of creepy.
Growing up as the chubby kid, I definitely know what you mean, though. There was always the same group of kids ready to harass me as I walked home from school. I have no doubt they grew up to be the same type of person you're talking about.

[Jack]

Honey, I'm a man and I walk everywhere. Women pass me on bicycles all the time and I don't scream at them or anything like that. In fact, I don't even think about them. I just keep walking. Are you sure you're not paranoid? Don't talk about some men as if they are all men. They're not.

[Wanderer]

I wonder just how many men have even thought of stuff like this....

I think about it all the time. I grew up in a rough neighborhood, and passing by 3 or 4 teen-to-20-something guys in a group meant you were going to get hassled. Between that and 30-something years of martial arts training, I constant am evaluating people as I walk or ride a bike, and deciding the best strategy for interacting.

[cowtime]

Honey, I'm a man and I walk everywhere. Women pass me on bicycles all the time and I don't scream at them or anything like that. In fact, I don't even think about them. I just keep walking. Are you sure you're not paranoid? Don't talk about some men as if they are all men. They're not.

Hey... she's not your "honey"........ or paranoid either.

[djm]

I don't understand your concern at all. I am always appreciative of a nice tush passing in front of me.

djm

[lalit]

I walk a lot. I don't usually have to contend with booze&cigarettes creeps on my walks, but I have noticed that in certain situations men will try to dominate the sidewalk, and the only way not to bump into them when passing head-on is to let oneself be run off the road, so to speak. They stick to their path down the center of the sidewalk. They see you coming, and they don't move over or share the space. Even if it's an unconscious territorial drive on their part, the fact that they don't avoid bumping into an oncoming pedestrian makes it "on purpose" in my book. Occasionally I've risen to the challenge of just staying in my lane, i.e., not being run off the road, and yep, they really do shoulder-clip me. A guy friend tells me that these territorial guys do this to other guys, too.

[Innocent Bystander]

I walk a lot. I don't usually have to contend with booze&cigarettes creeps on my walks, but I have noticed that in certain situations men will try to dominate the sidewalk, and the only way not to bump into them when passing head-on is to let oneself be run off the road, so to speak. They stick to their path down the center of the sidewalk. They see you coming, and they don't move over or share the space. Even if it's an unconscious territorial drive on their part, the fact that they don't avoid bumping into an oncoming pedestrian makes it "on purpose" in my book. Occasionally I've risen to the challenge of just staying in my lane, i.e., not being run off the road, and yep, they really do shoulder-clip me. A guy friend tells me that these territorial guys do this to other guys, too.

They do. More is the pity. Sez I "Surely there's enough pavement for both of us".

[Walden]

This is even worse on a bicycle, by the way, because the men respond to my presence more often, and it doesn't matter if they are creepy or regular men. Men do not like being passed by women on bicycles and they will go to great lengths to ensure that it doesn't happen, including passing you again right away just to let you know they are better than you. It makes just getting where you are going turn into a very exasperating experience.

This was the cause of my only broken limb. When I was three and my sister was two, my mother was riding a bicycle with my sister and my father was riding one with me. He decided he had to race them. He hit a chug hole in the road, and I panicked and my leg got caught in the spokes of his bicycle. I remember it clearly. They took me to the Indian hospital, and the doctor just kept eying my father as he put the cast on.

[lixnaw]

The patterns of modern day so society are still very dogmatic. It doesn't make any difference if you're a man or a woman, If you want to archieve your goals, you'll have to believe in yourself.

[emmline]

Because of where I live, walking by clusters of creepy guys isn't an everyday thing for me, but I certainly know the feeling. I used to--less so now--become acutely aware of all my body parts and tense up so that walking became an effort rather than a fluid action.

Women tend to become less interesting to the average party of loiterers as they enter my age group, and this makes things more pleasant in some ways. On the other hand--as the mother of 3 girls who are 17-21--it's been a mixed bag to witness the transitional passing of the baton, so to speak, in terms of who seems to elicit notice.

I haven't really observed that men, in particular, are more resistant to being passed as pedestrians. I walk briskly as a rule, and frequently find myself slowing down and spinning my figurative wheels behind amblers--in the mall, on the sidewalk, wherever. These are as likely to be women as men, and the challenge is to find a neat way to pass them that doesn't give the impression of hurried thoughtlessness.

[mutepointe]

I used to have short hair and then I got this job 14 years ago. We had a dress code but there was nothing about long hair, so I grew my hair long. Once my hair was long, I noticed that the reaction towards me on the street changed. Old people, in particular, kept their distance and didn't respond as friendly to me as they did when I had short hair. This was a dramatic difference. I'm the same person but I'm now being perceived as creepy.

When I was younger, I used to worry about gangs. I'm a big & tall person and at a certain point, I realized even athletic gangs weren't going to risk messing with someone my size. That was a relief.