Are you in the worst rock band in the world?

Post by **Dale** » Sat Dec 09, 2006 1:19 pm

ARE YOU IN THE WORST BAND IN THE WORLD?
Take this simple multiple-choice quiz and save yourself some embarrassment!

1 How long is your drummer’s solo?
a) He doesn’t get one.
b) A couple minutes is all, and it’s very funky.
c) Which of our drummers are you talking about?

2 What is the secret of your success?
a) Inspiration.
b) Perspiration.
c) Butchering old soul classics in a manner beloved by middle-aged housewives and the mentally unwell.

3 How many times has your band’s lineup changed?
a) Never happened, dude. If anyone left, it just wouldn’t be the same.
b) A few. It’s so hard to find a good accordionist.
c) 1,179.

4 The name of your band is…
a) A favorite phrase from a William S. Burroughs novel.
b) An action verb, followed by an even number.
c) Indistinguishable from that of an accounting firm.

5 What is your favorite subject matter for lyrics?
a) The pain of loving.
b) The joy of drinking.
c) Dragons. Or dungeons. But mostly dragons.

IF YOU ANSWERED…
Mostly a): Congratulations! You’re in a good band.
Mostly b): Commiserations! You’re in a not-very-good band.
Mostly c): What’s that sucking sound? Oh, it’s you.

Post by **Nanohedron** » Sat Dec 09, 2006 1:25 pm

Mostly c): What’s that sucking sound? Oh, it’s you.

Love it. I have a new jeer to add to my arsenal.

emmline · Post by **emmline** » Sat Dec 09, 2006 2:45 pm

Thanks Dale. You saved my bacon. Quick--let me go tell my fellow members of Shlurporthian's Bane that we've gotta drop our Ghostbuster/Wipeout medley from the playlist.

izzarina · Post by **izzarina** » Sat Dec 09, 2006 3:11 pm

emmline wrote:Quick--let me go tell my fellow members of Shlurporthian's Bane that we've gotta drop our Ghostbuster/Wipeout medley from the playlist.

Darn it all...that's the only one I was looking forward to hearing when you go on tour, Emm

Loren · Post by **Loren** » Sat Dec 09, 2006 3:26 pm

Dale, What if your band name is a medical proceedure, your album titles are bodily functions, and you're the loudest band in England?

Loren

Denny · Post by **Denny** » Sat Dec 09, 2006 3:48 pm

izzarina wrote:
emmline wrote:Quick--let me go tell my fellow members of Shlurporthian's Bane that we've gotta drop our Ghostbuster/Wipeout medley from the playlist.
Darn it all...that's the only one I was looking forward to hearing when you go on tour, Emm

...maybe they're still doin' "Inna Godda Wichita Line Man"

Post by **Dale** » Sat Dec 09, 2006 4:03 pm

Loren wrote:Dale, What if your band name is a medical proceedure, your album titles are bodily functions, and you're the loudest band in England?

Loren

Tap persisting in ruling!

Dale

brewerpaul · Post by **brewerpaul** » Sat Dec 09, 2006 4:36 pm

Came up with a terrific name for a metal band the other night in a nursing class devoted to obstructive pulmonary disease:

Tenacious Green Sputum !

anniemcu · Post by **anniemcu** » Sat Dec 09, 2006 4:44 pm

brewerpaul wrote:Came up with a terrific name for a metal band the other night in a nursing class devoted to obstructive pulmonary disease:

Tenacious Green Sputum !

Paul... spit that out! Now! ... into the bottle... good boy. (eeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwww)

rebl_rn · Post by **rebl_rn** » Sat Dec 09, 2006 5:21 pm

speaking of obstructive pulmonary disease, when my dad was taking his EMT class he brought home a cassette labelled "Lung Sounds". For the longest time I thought it was the name of a band. I still think it's kinda a cool name for one.

brewerpaul · Post by **brewerpaul** » Sun Dec 10, 2006 7:07 am

rebl_rn wrote:speaking of obstructive pulmonary disease, when my dad was taking his EMT class he brought home a cassette labelled "Lung Sounds". For the longest time I thought it was the name of a band. I still think it's kinda a cool name for one.

http://www.rale.ca/

Joseph E. Smith · Post by **Joseph E. Smith** » Sun Dec 10, 2006 7:32 am

Three techniques all guitarists in sucky bands should know.

When you make a mistake during your guitar solo, you can:

a). Do it again so it sounds like you meant to do it.
b). Get down on your kness and plead with the audience (if there is any) for forgiveness.
c). Go stand next to the bass player and give them a really dirty look.

Flyingcursor · Post by **Flyingcursor** » Tue Dec 12, 2006 6:40 am

brewerpaul wrote:Came up with a terrific name for a metal band the other night in a nursing class devoted to obstructive pulmonary disease:

Tenacious Green Sputum !

Lung butter.

missy · Post by **missy** » Tue Dec 12, 2006 6:42 am

Joseph E. Smith wrote:Three techniques all guitarists in sucky bands should know.

When you make a mistake during your guitar solo, you can:

a). Do it again so it sounds like you meant to do it.
b). Get down on your kness and plead with the audience (if there is any) for forgiveness.
c). Go stand next to the bass player and give them a really dirty look.

heck - I ain't in no rock band and I do most of that anyway......

I look at Tom with a "what in the heck did you just play" look on my face.

Or I say it's improvisation
(do it three times and it's jazz).........

Wanderer · Post by **Wanderer** » Tue Dec 12, 2006 7:31 am

Loren wrote:Dale, What if your band name is a medical proceedure, your album titles are bodily functions, and you're the loudest band in England?

I play this game called Guitar Hero...your controller looks like a guitar, and you rock out in rhythm to real music.

In Guitar Hero II, one of the songs is from Spinal Tap, and if you get 5 stars on it, your drummer explodes. No joke

Edit:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_IK1tlTcUU
Though this is some guy's video blog (this episode is mostly about buying and talking about Guitar Hero), if you jump to the end, it's got a clip of your drummer exploding..lol