Things your parents used to say...

[susnfx]

This morning a little incident threw me back to my high school days and something I was told by my parents a thousand times: "Don't drag Main."

Main Street in our little town was about 8-9 blocks long. The main recreation for teenagers was to "drag Main" which meant to drive back and forth several hundred times a night - always turning around at the same spots - waving to friends who were also dragging Main, honking at friends hanging out at the pool hall or coming out of the movie theater, giving tourists a hard time...

Whenever my parents would have me run an errand it was always followed by a stern warning about getting sidetracked. "Run to the store and get a loaf of bread - DON'T DRAG MAIN."

Anybody else's parents have favorite warnings?

Susan

[Flyingcursor]

Well there are the standards but I can't think of any that are particular to my neighborhood.

My parents used to preface with "Call us if......"

I do remember once my Dad telling me not to get stoned again before a playing gig. I played drums in his country band and had too many beers and speef one night before a show. My cymbals fell over, my timing was off. Ugh. Good thing he was my Dad or I'd have gotten fired.

[Brewster]

A couple from my youth come to mind.

"If you swallow a watermelon seed, a plant will grow in your stomach and eventually come out your mouth."

Also,

"If you keep making that face, your face will freeze like that permanently"

[Jack]

"Shut the (bleep) up!"

It's true. :roll:

[mukade]

"Remove that hamster from the microwave at once."

Mukade

[Joseph E. Smith]

Two phrases I recall from childhood:

1. If you can't be nice, then don't be at all.

2. If you do that, you'll put your eye out... just blow your nose.

[NicoMoreno]

"Drive safe, don't hit anything."

[Brigitte]

Me:" ...but Iris' parents allow her to go there/stay longer etc......"
Mom/Dad: I am not interested what other parents allow... if they'd jump into the "Rhine" , do you jump, too?

(Rhein, Germany's biggest river) and going out to a party or something else was out of the window could not devaluate this kind of argumentation....

Brigitte

[susnfx]

Actually, I could negotiate with my mom (not my dad).

Mom: "Run to the store and get a loaf of bread. DON'T DRAG MAIN."

Me: "Just three times?"

Mom: "No. ... Okay, twice."

Moms are great.

Susan

[jbarter]

Don't sit with your back to the fire - you'll melt the marrow in your bones.

Don't drink vinegar - it'll dry your blood up.

(OK, it was really my Grandma said them)

[Bloomfield]

"Whatever you're up to, stop it right now."

[dubhlinn]

From my Mother:

If you can't do someone a good turn then don't do them a bad one.

You can piss in one hand and wish in the other...then see which is full first.

Burn everything English...except their coal.

Always put yourself in the other persons shoes.

From my Father:

Just do what your Ma sez...


Slan,
D.

[Bloomfield]

My all-time favorite bit from the Hitchhikers Guide:

Arthur Dent: "It's at times like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxication in deep space, that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young."

Ford Prefect: "Why, what did she tell you?"

Arthur Dent: "I don't know. I didn't listen."

[jim stone]

Five years old and not yet world famous?
When Mozart was your age....


Also:

You vant to be a philosophy major?
Alright! Who am I to say NO; only your
mother. Go, be a philosophy major.
But I vant you should know one thing.
IT WILL KILL YOUR FADDER!
Oh, he'll say it's alright; he'll
pretend he's happy. You know the
vay he is. Last veek, when he ven to
the doctor for headaches?
Those headaches aren't headaches!
The slightest shock....

These are fictional accounts, please note

[jbarter]

From my Mother:

Burn everything English...except their coal.

Always put yourself in the other persons shoes.

Unless, of course, they're English shoes, in which case......