I don't know...I do realize that when people say things like this, they really are trying to do it out of love. I can respect that. But, I think that too many people think that we all should be little clones of each other. I don't think that one person's idea of "potential" is, or even should be the same as another person's "potential". My family tells me the same thing...I haven't lived up to my potential. Sorry? Just because I didn't actually finish college and am not earning 6 figures means I haven't lived up to my potential? Does my happiness count for anything, or does happiness have to be hinged on the amount of money I make? Or on whether or not I have a degree in genetics, or music, or English Lit. (the 3 main branches of study I was interested in when I was in college, lol).
At the same time, I know that they worry....they want me to be successful and well rounded. Unfortunately, I have a very different outlook on what makes one successful and well rounded. That's the part I feel many people forget.
What does "living up to your full potential" mean?
-
BillChin
- Posts: 1700
- Joined: Tue Aug 05, 2003 11:24 am
- Please enter the next number in sequence: 1
- Location: Light on the ocean
- Contact:
Wow what a topic.
Coming from someone who is close, the phrase still seems loaded. I have relatives that are coming of age (late high school, college) and I sometimes talk to them about what is possible, about what their dreams might be.
No one talked to me about these kind of things when I was young. All I got was discouraging words about how useless and worthless I was, even though I was an exceptional student by all accounts. Given my history, I thought it might be helpful to talk to the youngsters about what doors might be open to them. Right now, it is mostly like talking to a brick wall. That said, I am not discouraged. I can show them the door or point the way, but I can't make them walk through or make them want to do so.
I do encourage my younger relatives to follow their hearts, because I believe that is what is going to lead them to the best place. I do remind them of the great opportunities they have, and to be thankful and grateful for their relatively abundant and free lives.
People that know me from when I was a young brilliant student with so much "potential," sometimes shake their head about how little I have accomplished. Sometimes I do that too, but it is not a good use of my time or energy.
Living in the present, thinking in terms of what I want my life to look like, and moving forward from today are what I strive to do. It may or may not meet anyone else's picture for my life, but at this point that doesn't matter to me.
Coming from someone who is close, the phrase still seems loaded. I have relatives that are coming of age (late high school, college) and I sometimes talk to them about what is possible, about what their dreams might be.
No one talked to me about these kind of things when I was young. All I got was discouraging words about how useless and worthless I was, even though I was an exceptional student by all accounts. Given my history, I thought it might be helpful to talk to the youngsters about what doors might be open to them. Right now, it is mostly like talking to a brick wall. That said, I am not discouraged. I can show them the door or point the way, but I can't make them walk through or make them want to do so.
I do encourage my younger relatives to follow their hearts, because I believe that is what is going to lead them to the best place. I do remind them of the great opportunities they have, and to be thankful and grateful for their relatively abundant and free lives.
People that know me from when I was a young brilliant student with so much "potential," sometimes shake their head about how little I have accomplished. Sometimes I do that too, but it is not a good use of my time or energy.
Living in the present, thinking in terms of what I want my life to look like, and moving forward from today are what I strive to do. It may or may not meet anyone else's picture for my life, but at this point that doesn't matter to me.
-
Alan
- Posts: 606
- Joined: Sun Apr 28, 2002 6:00 pm
- antispam: No
- Please enter the next number in sequence: 8
- Tell us something.: From the land beyond beyond. From the time past hope and fear. I bid you, Genie, now appear! Well, the Genie did not appear but the notification to type at least 100 characters did so I am back and typing some more as you, if anyone actually sees this, can probably tell.
- Location: Auburn, California
I believe if I had lived up to my potential, as defined by others, I would not have lived as long or as happily but instead died of a stress related illness.
A saying that has stuck in my mind over the years is...
"You are not what you think you are... you are not what others think you are... you are what you think others think you are."
I have now largely managed to not behave in the manner to which that sort of thinking leads.
If people want to consider me an underachiever that's fine as I keep another saying in mind...
"You would worry much less about what people think of you if you realized how seldom they think of you at all."
A saying that has stuck in my mind over the years is...
"You are not what you think you are... you are not what others think you are... you are what you think others think you are."
I have now largely managed to not behave in the manner to which that sort of thinking leads.
If people want to consider me an underachiever that's fine as I keep another saying in mind...
"You would worry much less about what people think of you if you realized how seldom they think of you at all."
-
Jack
- Posts: 15580
- Joined: Sun Feb 09, 2003 6:00 pm
- Please enter the next number in sequence: 1
- Location: somewhere, over the rainbow, and Ergoville, USA
Alan, thank you for this. Thank you.Alan wrote:I believe if I had lived up to my potential, as defined by others, I would not have lived as long or as happily but instead died of a stress related illness.
A saying that has stuck in my mind over the years is...
"You are not what you think you are... you are not what others think you are... you are what you think others think you are."
I have now largely managed to not behave in the manner to which that sort of thinking leads.
If people want to consider me an underachiever that's fine as I keep another saying in mind...
"You would worry much less about what people think of you if you realized how seldom they think of you at all."
Folks,
When someone dies, reading the will is one of the last things that gets done. Sometimes Wills aren't read until months later.
If you've got something special planned, that's not the legal document you depend on to voice your burial desires.
Here in Illinois there's a legal form one can fill out that designates one to three people to be responsible for medical decisions about your body if you are incapacitated. (Back when AIDS was a death sentence, all my Gay friends used it to make sure their partners had a voice in how they would be cared for and buried.)
Its a given that who ever you ask to be one of those possible three will know what you want done if you are in a position to not speak for yourself,
including the disposal of your body after you die.
My grandmother never wanted to discuss what she wanted done to her body after she passed. We'd ask. It was a subject she did not want to discuss.
Then when she hit 101 years old she asked my mother to take her out to buy a coffin and make arrangements.
Grandma took her check book and paid for it herself too.
When grandma died 4 years later all my mother had to do was call up the undertakers and let them know what happened.
When someone dies, reading the will is one of the last things that gets done. Sometimes Wills aren't read until months later.
If you've got something special planned, that's not the legal document you depend on to voice your burial desires.
Here in Illinois there's a legal form one can fill out that designates one to three people to be responsible for medical decisions about your body if you are incapacitated. (Back when AIDS was a death sentence, all my Gay friends used it to make sure their partners had a voice in how they would be cared for and buried.)
Its a given that who ever you ask to be one of those possible three will know what you want done if you are in a position to not speak for yourself,
including the disposal of your body after you die.
My grandmother never wanted to discuss what she wanted done to her body after she passed. We'd ask. It was a subject she did not want to discuss.
Then when she hit 101 years old she asked my mother to take her out to buy a coffin and make arrangements.
Grandma took her check book and paid for it herself too.
When grandma died 4 years later all my mother had to do was call up the undertakers and let them know what happened.
-
susnfx
- Posts: 4245
- Joined: Sat Mar 09, 2002 6:00 pm
- Please enter the next number in sequence: 1
- Location: Salt Lake City
I can relate to that, Alan.Alan wrote:I believe if I had lived up to my potential, as defined by others, I would not have lived as long or as happily but instead died of a stress related illness.
Interesting comments, everyone. The more I've thought about this today, the more I think my friend was speaking of not living up to my potential for happiness and it's probably an accurate observation. I do struggle with negativity...but can't see myself morphing into Pollyanna at age 55.
Susan
-
buddhu
- Posts: 4092
- Joined: Tue Sep 23, 2003 3:14 pm
- Please enter the next number in sequence: 1
- Location: In a ditch, just down the road from the pub
- Contact:
Works for me.dubhlinn wrote:It is something that only exists in the eyes of others.
I am proud to be an "underachiever"..or a "Slacker", as my sisters call me.
I earn a living, have a good time, do no harm to anybody.
Pass that bottle over here.. as the Man once said.
Slan,
D.
And whether the blood be highland, lowland or no.
And whether the skin be black or white as the snow.
Of kith and of kin we are one, be it right, be it wrong.
As long as our hearts beat true to the lilt of a song.
And whether the skin be black or white as the snow.
Of kith and of kin we are one, be it right, be it wrong.
As long as our hearts beat true to the lilt of a song.
a mystic-religious perspective---
Gerard Manley Hopkins wrote:
As kingfishers catch fire, dragonflies draw flame;
As tumbled over rim and roundy wells
Stones ring; like each tucked string tells, each hung bell's
Bow swung finds tongue to fling out broad its name;
Each mortal thing does one thing and the same:
Deals out that being indoors each one dwells;
Selves- goes itself; myself it speaks and spells,
Crying What I do is me: for that I came.
I say more: the just man justices;
Keeps gráce: thát keeps all his goings graces;
Acts in God's eye what in God's eye he is--
Chríst. For Christ plays in ten thousand places,
Lovely in limbs, and lovely in eyes not his
To the Father through the features of men's faces.
ca.1882
-
Bloomfield
- Posts: 8225
- Joined: Mon Oct 15, 2001 6:00 pm
- antispam: No
- Please enter the next number in sequence: 8
- Location: Location: Location:
GM Hopkins was really into the self-ness of things-- he loved looking at individual clouds, individual rocks, the particular specific tools that went with particular specific trades-- he called it "inscape" (like landscape, but more interior?) Then there's the mystic-Christian interpretation on top of that, that all of this specificity and individuality is God embodying him/her/itself in the world.susnfx wrote:Definitely mystic, Caroluna!
OK, so, mysticism aside, the line "What I do is me, for that I came" is pretty cool
He's saying that your selfness is as natural as the note that comes from a bell when you strike it. I have a greenhouse and lots of weird little plants in it. Ex. I have a miniature rosebush. They need full sun but also, lots of humidity. Mine got sun but the air was too dry, so it never had any flowers. Finally the leaves shrivelled up and fell off. Nothing but stems and thorns. This plant is not living up to its potential.
I mean, its potential was to have roses, but it didn't get the right environment to be itself in that way. Meanwhile, I also have some Venus fly traps, and they are cheerily trapping flies. It doesn't matter how many flies, or how big the flies are, it's just that they're expressing their fly-trap-ness.
I haven't figured out how to grow cactuses yet. The last one split open from too much water, and then all the spines fell off. A cactus without spines is not living up to its potential
-- it's not expressing cactus-ness.So, I don't know what kind of "plant" you are -- but I think "living up to your potential" doesn't have anything to do with anything exterior to yourself-- it's following through on your (metaphorical) DNA.
If it turns out you are a cactus-- then wear your spines proudly!
-
djm
- Posts: 17853
- Joined: Sat May 31, 2003 5:47 am
- Please enter the next number in sequence: 1
- Location: Canadia
- Contact:
This may not be the plant's idea of its potential. Rather, it is your own external expectation of the plant's potential.Caroluna wrote:This plant is not living up to its potential.
Should the plant then consider that you are not living up to your potential as gardener, that you should end the plant's life so prematurely?
djm
I'd rather be atop the foothills than beneath them.