Urology: A Short Essay by Dale Wisely

peeplj · Post by **peeplj** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 12:32 pm

Hmmm...more evidence perhaps that Rowling will kill off Harry?

After all, once he reaches a certain age...

"Harry Potter & the Rectal Examination."

--James

MTGuru · Post by **MTGuru** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 12:40 pm

fearfaoin wrote:
gonzo914 wrote:...which would be reassuring in the event anything needs removed.
I shall ask a linguistics question. This "needs removed" is interesting.

I first encountered this in the speech of an Ohioan who had just moved to NC, but years later I'm hearing it more and more. Is it regional?

It's a German thing, a carry-over of German speech patterns in areas of the Midwest that were settled by Germans. For example, "Es muss entfernt werden" = "It must removed be". In casual or poetic speech, the last word is sometimes dropped: "Es muss entfernt" = "It must removed". Incorrectly substitute "needs" for "must", and voilà. And since German doesn't have an -ing verb form, the distinction between "It needs removed" and "It needs removing" wouldn't have been felt strongly. I think I heard it around Southern Indiana (Ohio valley) when I lived there.

fearfaoin wrote:How can it most effeciently be fought? It needs stamped out.

Jawohl!

I now return you to your online, er, "digital" conversation ...

Scott McCallister · Post by **Scott McCallister** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 12:41 pm

Dale wrote:THINKING ABOUT THE SPACE PROGRAM
WHILE LEAVING THE UROLOGIST'S OFFICE

They can put a man on the moon
but they can't come up with a way
to check for an enlarged prostate
without sticking a finger up my
or Neil Armstrong's butt.

The End

Wait a minute... you mean we have a choice?! Oh, from now on I'm definitely choosing for them to probe Neil Armstrong's butt to see if I have an enlarged prostate!
I honestly didn't know he was available for this kind of thing

That's one small groan for a man,
One giant leap for the sanctity of my butt.

gonzo914 · Post by **gonzo914** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 12:43 pm

peeplj wrote:Hmmm...more evidence perhaps that Rowling will kill off Harry?

After all, once he reaches a certain age...

"Harry Potter & the Rectal Examination."

--James

Catch the entire series --

Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Pestle

Harry Potter and the Finger of Fire

Harry Potter and the Sigmoidoscopy of Azkaban

Harry Potter and the Probing Doom

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Stool

Harry Potter and the Silver Stallion

Harry Potter and the Jelly of Ky

Congratulations · Post by **Congratulations** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 12:44 pm

gonzo914 wrote:Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Stool

Gonzo... Dude.

Post by **Nanohedron** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 12:58 pm

If I were assigned a woman urologist, the first thing I'd check out would be her nails.

djm · Post by **djm** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 1:03 pm

Ouch!

djm

gonzo914 · Post by **gonzo914** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 3:04 pm

Nanohedron wrote:If I were assigned a woman urologist, the first thing I'd check out would be her nails.

But is it art?

Post by **Nanohedron** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 3:06 pm

I don't care how stylish they are. Keep 'em away from my chute, thanx.

Jeferson · Post by **Jeferson** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 3:14 pm

OK, this one's old, but suitable.

A man visits a proctologist for his first rectal exam. The doctor tells him to wait in the examination room for a few moments. Once inside, the man notices three items on the desk: a tube of K-Y Jelly, a rubber glove, and a can of beer.

When the doctor walks in, the man says, “Look, Doc, this is my first exam. I know what the K-Y and the glove are for … but what’s the beer doing there?”

The doctor looks at the beer and turns red with anger. “Nurse,” he screams. “I said a butt light!”

Rod Sprague · Post by **Rod Sprague** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 3:42 pm

I am reminded of a really bad pun I heard in Mycology class; Mycology is better than Urology!

missy · Post by **missy** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 4:09 pm

oh, geesh...

whine,whine,whine.

Get a freezing cold metal thing stuck up you a few times and then come whine about it.........

Or have a very sensitive part of you flattened like it's been run over by a Mac truck...........

bunch of wusses.

(and I mean that in the nicest way

)

fearfaoin · Post by **fearfaoin** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 4:09 pm

MTGuru wrote:It's a German thing, a carry-over of German speech patterns in areas of the Midwest that were settled by Germans.

Ah, I thought it sounded like a Pennsylvanian thing...

peeplj wrote:"Harry Potter & the Rectal Examination."

Come, on. You know it's just we Muggles who have to put up with
that stuff. In the magical world, all it takes is an Auror, a wand, and
a quick Reducio (hopefully followed by an Obliviate)
</geek>

Jack · Post by **Jack** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 4:11 pm

Seriously, anal exams should not hurt or be scary. If it hurts you're doing something wrong, like being too tense.

fearfaoin · Post by **fearfaoin** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 4:11 pm

peeplj wrote:...For another thing, for whatever reason, women are not sympathetic at all to men regarding this kind of test. Rather, they seem almost to...well...to gloat about it, and to sort of rejoice that we had to experience it.

missy wrote:oh, geesh...
whine,whine,whine.
Get a freezing cold metal thing stuck up you a few times and then come whine about it.........
Or have a very sensitive part of you flattened like it's been run over by a Mac truck...........
bunch of wusses.
(and I mean that in the nicest way )

See, Cynth that's what James was talking about

Complaining about prostate exams is banned in my house,
lest I wish to hear (again) about visits to the Gynocologist.

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Urology: A Short Essay by Dale Wisely

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