OT?: Whistling with Helium Scientifically

Martin Milner · Post by **Martin Milner** » Thu Jan 23, 2003 1:13 pm

Egged on mercilessly by Wombat, and fortified by a recent repast of cornbread and meteloef, I held a helium balloon in one hand, a bag of nothing on loan from Blumenfeld Inc. in the other, and with my Generation Bb grasped firmly in the third, I retired to my Secret Underground Whistle Laboratory and Testing Facility (the basement car park), to conduct the experiment under scientifically controlled conditions.

Several months ago a heated discussion on the effects of whistling with lungs full of helium took place on this board. I forgot what conclusion we came to, so I determined to recreate the experiment.

The Theorum: As helium raises the pitch of the voice, so it will raise the pitch of a tune played on any wind instrument.

The tune I chose to use to test the theorem was Inion Ni Scannlain by Donogh Henessey, recorded on MSOF by Lunasa. Kevin plays on a Bb flute, so playing along on a Bb whistle is in order.

INS playing in one ear, I emptied my lungs, took a deep breath from the balloon, and joined Mike at the first repeat.

Result: I was playing at least 2 tones higher than usual, for about 3 bars, after which my playing was rudely interrupted by guffaws of high pitched laughter, later discovered to be coming from me. Helium does indeed affect your whistling in the aforementioned hypothesised manner.

My mind played over events. What tragedies could have been avoided if helium breathing had been suitably deployed? Would the Walls of Jerico have crumbled? Would Saruman's orcs have been too busy laughing to shoot Boromir of Gondor full of arrows? Would Louis Armstrong have had to puff his cheeks quite so much?

Alas we shall never know.

WARNING: Inhaling Helium is probably stupid and dangerous and not to be attempted if you have two brain cells left to rub together. Nothing was damaged during the course of this experiment, except Martin Milner's pride, and let's face facts, there's precious little of that to damage.

Experiment conducted by Martin Sherlock Milner 5:38pm 23rd January 2003

_________________
"Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off."

[ This Message was edited by: Martin Milner on 2003-01-24 04:16 ]

burnsbyrne · Post by **burnsbyrne** » Thu Jan 23, 2003 1:24 pm

OK. So, you know the next step. Record it and post it on the Chiff tunes board!
Mike

Post by **Nanohedron** » Thu Jan 23, 2003 2:40 pm

Let me preface by saying that what with all the Guinness I have consumed over a lifetime, it's a wonder I haven't yet got the bends...

Anyway, I discovered that when playing flute, whenever I would burp a little (?) nitrogen mid-reel/jig/whatever, the tone would be LOST for a moment. Of course, that could be chalked up to a momentarily compromised embouchure.

It would appear that science should be applied here, too. We shall see.

N, w/ apologies

amar · Post by **amar** » Thu Jan 23, 2003 4:33 pm

Martin, that was really hilarious, I really laughed out loud, just thinking of the whole thing.

thanks

Tyghress · Post by **Tyghress** » Thu Jan 23, 2003 4:37 pm

Okay...helium is absolutely inert...not gonna fry any brain cells, no matter what.

Okay...Helium is also taking the place of good fresh air as nature intended, but for one good passage, that's not going to kill you or your brain cells either.

Three deep breaths...exhale all the way....TURN ON THE F'n RECORDER...suck He nice and deep....GET SERIOUS....and play something we'd all sort of recognize. Three Blind Mice will do nicely...something Irish, Scottish will also suffice. Finish it off with your best Munchkin rendition of Thank You Very Much.

AND POST THAT CLIP!

T
laughing uproariously

BrassBlower · Post by **BrassBlower** » Thu Jan 23, 2003 4:59 pm

Try it with a Generation high G in the second octave. You will probably hear a lot of barking dogs, then!

lixnaw · Post by **lixnaw** » Thu Jan 23, 2003 5:16 pm

kick off your shoes and bend a small bid through your legs, your legs chould be shoulderwide.
if that doesn't work, try another key that feels more comfortable in bodyposture.
if that doesn't work, go and see an osteopath or chiropractor

Zubivka · Post by **Zubivka** » Thu Jan 23, 2003 6:18 pm

Martin, wait, wait, WAIT!

Does anyone by London has a high F to loan to Martin for his next experiment?
I'd love to hear him recording in high Bb'''' or therabouts....

Now what would be the right tune to suggest for this Mickey Mouse expereiment?

[ This Message was edited by: Zubivka on 2003-01-23 19:20 ]

brianormond · Post by **brianormond** » Fri Jan 24, 2003 1:40 am

-Argon gas has the opposite effect, lowering the voice-no doubt due to its heavier-than-air quality. Welding with TIG/Heliarc gear in a small "clean room" with poor ventilation revealed this. Normal voices went low & resonant. If only I could sound like that without artificial enhancement. Look out Barry White!

Zubivka · Post by **Zubivka** » Fri Jan 24, 2003 7:26 am

Don't be shy, Martin, you wild and krazy lad! Go all the way!

Here's the--bwaaeeeeh-yee-yee-yee-bwaaaaeeeh-- 
Helliam Pipe!

Take a small pipe, any breed. The higher-pitched the chanter, the better. I'd pick one from a Biniou-Koz.

Use the bellows for what it's worth, like give it to kid-scouts for their camping.

Plug directly the helium can to the bag.

Since helium is often supplied to scuba divers, you'll look way cool with the helium day-glo yellow bottle on your back.

Those nifty scuba belts also give stability after the 5th pint!

Also note the flippers give a nice jazzy brushed toms sound if you're into set-dancing.

Now, add a reed to your schnorkel, and you get a coooool extra drone !!!

Finally, if you get the bag from a GREAT highland pipe, you'll be heard above any loud session, since you'll be hovering just under the ceiling!

[ This Message was edited by: Zubivka on 2003-01-24 08:32 ]

Cees · Post by **Cees** » Fri Jan 24, 2003 7:38 am

*gasping for breath*

My heck, Martin, that is the funniest thing I've seen all week!

You have talent, my friend.

RosieCotton · Post by **RosieCotton** » Fri Jan 24, 2003 8:37 am

LOL!

I love it! Though I must say it's not something it would have occurred to me to try...until now!

Wombat · Post by **Wombat** » Sun Jan 26, 2003 10:10 am

Wow Martin. I knew you could do it. Your career as an experimental scientist is really up and floating now.

Take no notice of the mockers. You are hardly the first scientific visionary to be be laughed at mercilessly. Well, you might actually be the first to be laughed at mercilessly by himself.

serpent · Post by **serpent** » Sun Jan 26, 2003 3:48 pm

Martin, you're missing a great bet - revive Monty Python's Flying Circus in pantomime with this helium farce! You'd make a great Pantomime John Cleese!

serpent