Can You Keep a Secret?

mutepointe · Post by **mutepointe** » Mon May 25, 2009 7:21 am

There is nothing going on in my life that prompts this question. People just amaze me.

You may choose up to 3 options and you may change your vote.

Innocent Bystander · Post by **Innocent Bystander** » Mon May 25, 2009 7:28 am

I have kept, and will continue to keep many secrets. Mostly because I have forgotten what people told me. But even if I remembered (which I do sometimes) I wouldn't tell.

Where neurotypicals are concerned, the quotation covers it:

Three people can keep a secret if two of them are dead.

s1m0n · Post by **s1m0n** » Mon May 25, 2009 7:34 am

It depends. I can, but sometimes I don't. This is one of the promises ("will you do me a favour?" is another) that I never make blind, even though it's often asked blind.

As an example, I used to be part of a group that took a weekly 12 step metting in to a juvenile jail. One of the institution's conditions for letting us in was a rule that if a kid told us that he was holding any alcohol or drugs, or if he told us he planning to escape, we had to let staff know. We were allowed to tell the kids this right up front, so part of the meeting format every week was a warning that this was a groundrule, along with a promise that we'd keep their other secrets. Which we did. It took a long time to for them to trust; they started by testing us, but we kept our word and eventually this became something the veterans would tell the new members. Average stay there was six months, so meeting membership did turn over*.

* There were a few kids there for murder who were there for a lot longer than six months, but those boys didn't come to the meetings.

FJohnSharp · Post by **FJohnSharp** » Mon May 25, 2009 7:38 am

I am excellent at keeping secrets. For example, I know that Dale once kicked Cheryl Tiegs out of bed for eating crackers, and I've never told a soul.

peeplj · Post by **peeplj** » Mon May 25, 2009 8:37 am

People tell me things that I never wanted to know. They always have.

I keep their secrets; however, I will say that sometimes I think I'd sleep better if I didn't know the secrets in the first place.

Most secrets are either silly or sad; however, a few are truly terrible.

--James

mutepointe · Post by **mutepointe** » Mon May 25, 2009 9:40 am

FJohnSharp wrote:I am excellent at keeping secrets. For example, I know that Dale once kicked Cheryl Tiegs out of bed for eating crackers, and I've never told a soul.

How many times is she going to say she's going to do better and how many times is he going to take her back? Remember when she flipped the pizza on the new Egyptian cotton sheets?

The Weekenders · Post by **The Weekenders** » Mon May 25, 2009 10:03 am

I have always been one of those "kiss and never tell" people about my own personal experiences with women. Those are the most sacrosanct secrets for me. Never was a locker-room talker. Most will go with me to the grave, undescribed, unless I someday think that my life is so damn interesting that I should write it down. Fat chance.

The next level down then, would be those secrets about other people. Basically, you have to watch out for those who take nearly sadistic curiosity insofar as gossiping and trying to pull stuff out of you. Avoid them, no matter how compelling they are, because they might make you crack.

Now that I'm middle-aged, I have come to realize that part of life are the hypocrisies and tendencies that are best left undescribed. No good comes from it even though you can get really frustrated about what people are up to. It's part of the panorama of life.

I think, if you really want to tell other people's secrets, you should put it in a book or short story and work it out that way.

WyoBadger · Post by **WyoBadger** » Mon May 25, 2009 10:24 am

Not tellin'.

izzarina · Post by **izzarina** » Mon May 25, 2009 10:51 am

I would tell you, but then I would have to kill you.

emmline · Post by **emmline** » Mon May 25, 2009 11:07 am

As with most matters I am, on this subject, a situational ethicist.
Maybe this is inherently obvious to people, as never once (that I can recall) has anyone ever entrusted me with a secret so private that he/she felt a need to extract a promise about it.
I have told things I regretted telling, and have kind of learned from that though.

izzarina · Post by **izzarina** » Mon May 25, 2009 11:14 am

emmline wrote:As with most matters I am, on this subject, a situational ethicist.

I think you would have to be when it comes to secret keeping. Some secrets shouldn't be kept secret, especially if it has to do with someone losing their life or something bad happening to them.

With typical things...just something that people don't want others to know...I don't tell. There's no reason to.

peeplj · Post by **peeplj** » Mon May 25, 2009 11:15 am

I have told things I regretted telling, and have kind of learned from that though.

That's how I learned, as well.

Young people do dumb things; they don't always have the perspective yet to understand just exactly how far-reaching the consequences of some of those things can be.

Of course, in fairness, I've seen plenty of folks who weren't particularly young, who still did (and / or do) dumb things as well, but that's a different story.

--James

peeplj · Post by **peeplj** » Mon May 25, 2009 11:17 am

I think you would have to be when it comes to secret keeping. Some secrets shouldn't be kept secret, especially if it has to do with someone losing their life or something bad happening to them.

Fortunately, I've never faced that particular moral dilemma. In my experience, most people's secrets hinge around either (a) things that they have no reason to know, or (b) sex that they shouldn't be having. I've no reason (or desire) to tell those; I had no reason (or desire) for anyone to tell them to me to start with!

--James

Post by **Nanohedron** » Mon May 25, 2009 12:15 pm

Can You Keep a Secret?
*snip*
□ Yes. But Only if It Would Hurt Someone.
*snip*

I never thought of keeping a secret with the purpose of hurting someone, before.

Denny · Post by **Denny** » Mon May 25, 2009 12:17 pm

mute's a bit odder than you are

is okay....part of yer charm

no....both of ya

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