MTGuru C/D Duo Whistle

[MTGuru]

One of the problems playing whistle in sessions is the need to carry both D and C whistles to cover the popular session keys. The expense of two whistles, the constant need to keep both warmed up and in tune, the added risk of losing one of them are all issues the poor session whistler has to deal with.

To address this unfortunate situation, in consultation with Jerry Freeman I have devised the ideal solution.

The new MTGuru C/D Duo Whistle:



By incorporating both D and C whistles in the very same tube, the right whistle for the right tune is only a flick of the wrist away. One quick hand motion, and the D or C mouthpiece is instantly rotated into playing position, ready to belt out your favorite slowe aire or songe. The unique design doesn't allow wasted air to escape from the end, resulting in at least 4 or 5 times the volume of the average whistle. This is one LOUD instrument! Perfect for the typical Irish session, or for calling sheep, driving out rodents, or signaling ships at sea.

The design is also Green and Eco-friendly, reducing whistle requirements by 50% and saving our precious whistle resources for future generations.

In keeping with the bird-themed whistle line, this new model will be called the Doppeladlerpfeife or "Double Eagle", making it the perfect addition to any Celtic German polka ceili band. I haven't yet decided between a stylized traditional logo or a more naturalistic look:



Chiffboard readers are already raving about the new MTGuru C/D Double Eagle Duo Whistle - the revolting whistle for the new millennium!

"It defies all known principles of acoustic physics. Incredible"
- Thomas-Hastay

"Perfect for playing in Australian position. Either end is up!"
- Hoopy Mike

"Oh, my goodness! What in the world?"
- Dale Wisely

[Steamwalker]

I'll take the folk version with the green mouthpieces!

[fearfaoin]

I respect your decision to keep up with the
bird-themed ("Blackbird") line, but I would
have called it "The Push-me-Pull-you".



These will take some getting used to when
playing into a mic. I won't know which
windway I should put up to the microphone!

[fearfaoin]

If you make one in D/A, you could get one
person on each side, and maybe have some
nice harmony going. That would be quite the
spectacle at our next Germish Polka night
(we call it "Der Ceilinfroden").

[crookedtune]

Germish people should stay home until they're better.

[breqwas]

Where can I order that sort of whistle?

[TC]

What a brilliant idea !
Will this play into the fourth and fifth octaves ?

[Feadoggie]

I can't make out whether this is a right-handed whistle for left-handed players or a left-handed whistle for right-handed players. Which hand goes on top? Or do you inter-leave the fingers? At any rate, two heads have to be better than one.

[riverman]

Genius!!

[anniemcu]

I want to back this venture! It's an astounding renovation of the instrument, and bound to change the whistling world overnight! I've already started the transfer of my 51% stock purchase funds. John, you should be hearing from PayPal momentarily!

[fearfaoin]

Annie, I'm glad someone has the guts
to back such a radical paradigm shift!
You've inspired me. Where'd I put that
second mortgage paperwork?

[walrii]

I'm sure this is a proprietary secret but I'm wondering how the tube lengthens and shortens to the proper length when the ends are switched. Having read MT posts these past several years, I've no doubt he found an elegant solution.

[MTGuru]

Walrii, there's no need to change the length, because of a breakthrough in Quantum Acoustics. The design of the internal Heisenberg-Schrödinger resonance cavity ensures that the whistle plays in both C and D simultaneously! But thanks to gravitational interaction, the heaver notes fall to the bottom of the tube, while the lighter notes rise to the top, resulting in perfect QT (Quantum Temperament) tuning.

With a slight adjustment (at nominal extra cost), the Duo Whistle is also capable of producing not only sound waves, but sound particles. This is particularly useful in noisy pub situations, where the experience of being pelted mercilessly and painfully by whistle notes is guaranteed to keep audiences alert and attentive.

For players who insist on the comfort of different length whistles, instructions are provided for a new technique called Relativistic Fingering. In short, this involves playing jigs and reels so blindingly fast that the whistle undergoes relativistic Einstein contraction, and simply seems shorter in the fixed frame of a stationary audience. Talks are currently underway with Brian Finnegan to offer video demos of this remarkable new technique.

[Mack.Hoover]

In April of 07 I experimented with that concept. April 1 a year later did my first marketing promo and this year someone infringes. That is justice for you...
But good luck anyway.
Mack

[MTGuru]

Mack, you'll have to discuss this with my intellectual property lawyer - Owen D. Patent, Esq.