The all-buzzword thread

[izzarina]

currently attempting to acheive optimal toastage.

Just don't try to reinvent the wheel in your attempt. You don't want to drop the ball on this one.

[Innocent Bystander]

Yeah, you need to realign your paradigms so we are all singing from the same hymn-sheet.

[rhulsey]

I have revisited my life's purpose, and found my current trajectory to be shifting to a new paradigm of awareness of the present moment.

[CHasR]

currently attempting to acheive optimal toastage.

Just don't try to reinvent the wheel in your attempt. You don't want to drop the ball on this one.

now it looks like I'll be putting feelers out for a study-group designed to enlist an outsourced HR thinkpod just to touch base about possible solution assessment management transitions, to smoothify between the desirability of an optimal toastage situationality and the actuality of a maximal toastage situationality.

[fel bautista]

I believe the design should reflect all the tenets of good six sigma design. Oh, and by the way, lets see if we can get cpi=spi=1.0 as a stretch goal. And I'd like to see what your actual cost of work scheduled is for fiscal month end.

Has any one seen the technical performance metrics flowed down from systems yet? We need to translate those into performance metrics at the design level.

[Innocent Bystander]

Performance indicators - they are the key. Better get some resource on that, going forward.

[Nanohedron]

My kingdom for a re-contextualized intangible matrix.

[Ceili_whistle_man]

I heard some 'financial expert' (ha-ha, if they were such experts why is the world in this money based meltdown?) waffling on the TV the other day about how you can pick and choose between banks or financial institutions to 'leverage a better position with low impact cost based commitments'. What the hell was that all about? How can you 'leverage' something? Leverage is what you applied to do something, it can't be used in the context of something you are intending to do, as in 'I am going to leverage him'.
It took me a few seconds to figure out what he meant was that you can shop around and get a mortgage with lower interest rates (leverage a better positioin) and therefore have lower repayments (low impact cost based commitments').
Why can't they just speak plain English? They are supposed to be helping folk not bamboozling them!

[Nanohedron]

For those of you who, like me, are profoundly buzzword-challenged, here's a cool little Buzzword Generator. Just hit "ENTER" if you have no idea what it is you want, and it'll cook up headscratchers ad nauseam for you until you'll want to run away screaming.

[Ceili_whistle_man]

Excuse me, one is questionably sane, but one is positive that a lack of intelligence is not in evidence.

That's my favourite saying put in a more obfuscating way, in plain English it means:
Hey! I may be daft, but I'm not stupid!

[WyoBadger]

I think we need to pow-wow with the stakeholders to make sure we're all on the same page.

[WyoBadger]

Gotta be proactive about that if we're going for the win-win.

[The Weekenders]

Is this is a meme gone viral?

Nothing beats good ol' "features" when describing Microsoft software obstructions and idiosyncracies.

[Doug_Tipple]

I'm surprised that no one has mentioned these other obvious buzz words: drone, hum, whir.

[Innocent Bystander]

I'm surprised that no one has mentioned these other obvious buzz words: drone, hum, whir.

Let's not confuse pushing the envelope with re-contextualizing our customer experience.