How to get rid of stagefright at sessions?

[brewerpaul]

Build up by playing with one sympathetic friend, then two and so on.

Good idea. Once you get used to playing with those couple of friends, try to convince them to come with you to the session. When you start your chosen tune, they'll start right in with you as usual, and you'll be on your way.

[FJohnSharp]

A four-times-a-year session in Hiram invited Liz Carroll to lead us last year, and there was a huge turnout. She asked people to start tunes and I decided, after much hand wringing, to start my go-to tune: Donnybrook Fair. I know it dead and can start it with a roll or without, which is the better way to start it when I'm nervous. Nonetheless, when I put lips to fipple and pushed air into the tube, my fingers decided to forget both openings. I had three false starts, and a friend started it for me. I wanted to crawl into a fiddle case and stay there until everyone went home.

My 'stage fright' makes it hard for me to show people new tunes by playing them through, because the swallow reflex intensifies and I have to make frequent stops to swallow, which does not make for a smooth rendition. I ahve found that the thing that helps me is to close my eyes and try to find the place where I feel like I do when I'm at home, just letting my fingers do what they know how to do. Over thinking messes me up.

[s1m0n]

Drink a great deal.

[Ceili_whistle_man]

So my question to all the veteran session players is this: What do you do to calm your nerves?

There are a couple of conditions that you allude to, firstly in the title of your post 'stagefright' and secondly in the question above, 'nerves'.
Stagefright is where someone will get up and try to perform in front of a group of people (or even one for that matter) and then freeze. Even though that person has prepared long and hard, the brain goes blank, the fingers won't recieve signals from the brain and when they try to think about what they are trying to do all they get is the microsoft 'blue screen of death' in their minds eye!!
How do you get around 'the freeze'? I can only say, be fully prepared and know exactly what it is you need to do when you are ready to start.
Now, nerves are something different entirely. I still get nervous after all these years. I am not afraid that I will stuff up in a tune, I am well past caring about that, I just get so sick in the pit of my stomach that I am almost at the point of being physically sick. I have had this all my life, it happened when I was waitng to go out on the field to play football, it happened before I went out to play in a band on stage. I told tell a friend of mine (who had never played in front of anyone before) that it was all too easy, she would soon be over her nerves and before she knew it the show would be over and she would wonder what all the fuss and worry was about.
It wasn't until we had been playing for a few years together that I told her what I suffered before going out to play. She said that she always looked to me for that calming tone, the 'You'll be fine, this is dead easy' reassurance. She was surprised to hear that I had such bad nerves, and said that she never ever noticed.
Once I get out and start playing everything is fine.
I was used to playing in sessions and just fitting in, I hardly ever needed to start into sets as there were/are always people wanting to lead off with their sets, so it was never a case of 'Oh dear, we've run out of tunes, hey! how about you start a set for us?'

So back to your question.....I have never had to worry about freezing up in a session, I don't have nerves that are related to 'Am I going to stuff up when they ask me to start a set off'.
The few pointers I can give are these;
If you are going to start off a set, you must know it backwards. Take a big deep breath, and don't rush into the start of the first tune. I am amazed at some of the beginners I hear playing who start off a set at full tilt and can only last for as long as their first breath will last, they then realise that by the time they have taken their next breath the tune has left them behind and they can't catch up. A common comment from begginers after the set is finished is somewhere along the lines of 'You all sped up, I couldn't catch you'. In a good session, and I mean a session that shows consideration for begginers abilities, they will only play at the speed that you start off at. So if you are going to go ripping into a set with a breakneck start, then the other players will stay at that speed as they are assuming that is a speed you are comfortable with.
So really be mindfull of the speed at which you launch into a tune, and you will find that leading off a set will be a loy more enjoyable.
Be fully prepared. Or drink a great deal!, thank's s1m0n

[Anita]

I can totally relate to your plight- sessions, gigs- doesn't matter- I undergo an emotional meltdown if attention is focused on me at all... That said, it has been getting better-I've even gotten to the point that I've been able to actually eat if I'm going to be playing with a group in public, as opposed to my prior existence of subsisting on coffee only all day as the thought of eating was enough to make me sick to my stomach. I don't play a lot in public, but it has gotten better. I still try not to lead off a set in a session though, even though I know it's dumb and what's the worst I could do; screw up a tune badly?

What's helped some for me, besides time and lots of practice, is playing with people who are supportive and not judgemental; sessions vary greatly as I'm sure you've figured and some are lots more forgiving and loving than others. I try to avoid the ones with attitudes. Also, I've found that playing a contra dance is lots of fun as the "audience" is engaged in dancing and not staring at the stage- it's the staring at the stage part that gets me all the time.....

Thus far I've only played fiddle in sessions- haven't tried out my whistle yet- am easing into it by playing with a friend or two first but I know that no matter how much I have worked on a tune, I may very well freeze totally tying it in a session, so it will be one in someone's livingroom and not a public one for sure....

Also, what else has kinda helped is to start paying attention to when musicians(professional types) whom I really respect make mistakes on stage in a gig- bagpipe squawks, etc- it does happen I've realized and they just sail on without for the most part even acknowledging that it happened. So I figure if at their level they STILL mess up now and then and they do this in front of 600 people or whatever, hey- what's the worst that can happen if I mess up?

As for all the drug/alcohol reccomendations- yes, some people definitely use those, but my former fiddle teacher says that eating bananas helps- something to do with the potassium perhaps? I'm not sure how many one would have to eat, but it couldn't hurt I suppose, unlike the drugs...

[Infernaltootler]

I've done the freeze, I've done the fluff, I've done the starting too fast.

I did find half a pint was necessary in order to get started with strangers, but find that now I can recognise a face in nearly all the sessions I go I no longer need even that.

I'm at the stage where I can start a tune if no one actually points at me, but if they put me on the spot I'll most often demurr and everyone's cool with that.

Trouble is, even if you think you know quite few tunes, the ones you can really play rarely come up so if you want to be sure of playing something that night you darn well have to start it yourself.

[mutepointe]

I ask myself two questions when I am playing in front of people:

1. Is anyone going to die?
2. Is anyone going to ask for their money back?

Keep playing in front of people. Everyone wants to see you succeed. Something we forget as musicians is that most people don't get to hear live music as intimately and as often as we do. A live performance is a real treat for many people. They really do appreciate us, errors and all.

[Belgian_Waffle]

I do al of this too (and funnily enough, also with Donnybrook Fair). It's all very familiar : the black-out, sweating, starting too fast, fumbling half-way ! Good to hear I'm not the only one

I do try to remember my teacher's words : "Make a mistake twice and it's a variation". That's a bit like an oral exam German I once took. The teacher said I made a million mistakes but since I carried on as if nothing had happened I passed... I guess that's what was described above, something I have heard accomplished musicians do : carry on regardless.

And practice, practice, practice... If only I could practice some more...

[anniemcu]

Keep doing it, and hopefully, eventually you will notice that no-one has thrown you out, disowned you or taken your instrument away... so you *can* do it.

(It isn't really an option to imagine them all in their skivvies and dark socks... you can't play at all when your giggling.)

[peeplj]

(It isn't really an option to imagine them all in their skivvies and dark socks... you can't play at all when your giggling.)

Words of wisdom, maybe, or at least words learned the hard way:

Ignore your audience if there is one. That isn't to say don't look at them--if you try not to look at them, you'll wind up staring at nothing else!

Just ignore them. Let your eyes wander.

However...

Try not to make eye contact with anybody. The shock of direct eye contact can still sometimes knock me out of a tune. Just look at foreheads or shirts--well, maybe, foreheads is safer anyway, the shirts thing is too easily misunderstood!--or at their feet, or up over their heads....or better yet, at the feet of your fellow musicians, because sometimes when they stomp it's actually in rhythm.

It really does get easier, just don't give up on it because of a few false starts.

--James

[MusicalADD]

As others already said, practice/repetition work magic at making things less stressful.

In addition, I find one simple, quick mental exercise comes in handy: In most sessions (in my area at least) someone will make some sort of noticeable mistake. I noticed that when I witnessed that, I breathed a sigh of relief, as in, "Phew,I'm not the only one who screws up!"

It was as if that guy, the guy who screwed up, was doing a public service, demonstrating that screw-ups are okay. He provided the "screwing up, so that others don't feel so much pressure" service.

And when I flip that around, I figure, "Well, it's the least I can do to provide that same service." And indeed I do.

[okewhistle]

I am used to "performing" in public because of my job, but when it comes to playing music I have a little voice that whispers "who do you think you are?" when I start to play. I do sneak music into sessions (usually just the first two bars of each section of a tune), written on some piece of paper that I can leave casually on the table as though someone else put it there. I don't need it, but it gets me past the fear that I will start on completely the wrong note. Once I have played one tune and it has gone well there is no holding me, but next time I am back to the beginning.

If I am going to play a tune, like a golfer doing a few practice swings, I will get my fingers moving over the holes without blowing.

One pint of beer helps, two pints not so good, three pints I don't care so much, four and they suggest I only play when I know the tune.

[MaryC]

There is a difference, too, in being able to play a tune well enough to play along in session, and being able to play it well enough to start it.

There's a third category too: being able to play the tune well enough to carry it off when you're the only melody instrument present (God love those guitars and bodhrans!)

Lots of good advice here, one more tip: be aware of who else is present, and what they know. If necessary, tell someone strong what you're going to play, and ask them to come in very quickly at the start. Don't start something obscure if the other folks there might not know it.

(Once you've got to grips with starting a tune, they're going to ask you to start sets! Switching seamlessly from one tune to another is a whole different skill!)

[eskin]

Besides having a few tunes you can play in your sleep, I suggest that a nice single malt might help calm your nerves...

[Daniel_Bingamon]

When I started playing at my congregation, I had a little bit of fright but then I thought to myself: You're among friendsm, what is there to worry about - that thought alone helped a lot. Get your mind off of worrying about screwing up.