"On Friday at 10 a.m., the Carl's Jr. restaurant in Centerville will have a "moment of silence" for the potty that was destroyed last week when a patron's handgun fell out of the holster and fired as he was hitching up his pants.
The bullet shattered the toilet and sent sharp shards into the man's arm. The 26-year-old, who had a concealed-weapons permit, was treated at the scene for minor injuries.
But the "john" was destroyed, and the national hamburger chain is feeling the loss."
(Don't want this to get into a "what if it had gone off and hit a person..." rant. I'd like to celebrate the humor in the final farewell to the toilet.)
The man is one of the thousands of americans who are injured every year in toilet-related accidents. When, o when, will america wake up and realize that these losses are preventable. Support toilet control legislation. There is no constitutional right to bear toilets. Write your congersman.
Crazy for the blue white and red
Crazy for the blue white and red
And yellow fringe
Crazy for the blue white red and yellow
"Employees at the restaurant, 385 N. 800 West, will hand out bottles of Kaboom® Bowl Blaster toilet cleaner to the first 50 funeral attendees, he said, as "it was the toilet's favorite."
I may have to go (to the funeral, I mean).
Write my congersman? Well, they're all sort of slippery as eels...
"Take that, you dung-eater!" he cried as he whirled about, drawing his concealed pistol and bearing down on his great white porcelain attacker in one fluid movement. A single shot, and its stained brown rim shattered into a million pieces, glass-like, crud-encrusted fragments screaming into the walls about him. It was only his lightning reflexes that had saved him from a watery grave with a hint of lilac deodorizer.
As the adrenaline in his system started to subside the pain in his arm made itself known to him. He glanced down to where the dagger-like shards had pierced him in a dozen places, blood slowly oozing from what he knew were probably already septic wounds in his manly frame.
He staggered back into the eatery, flushed with success.
djm
I'd rather be atop the foothills than beneath them.
So, let's talk about 'Carl's Jr.'. Is that something like Ruth's Chris Steakhouse, or Johns Hopkins, for that matter? Americans have no idea what an apostrophe is for, so you really never know. Maybe the guy was just trying to intimidate the place into using good grammar.
Or, like OJ, maybe he was "just trying to get my stuff back.....".
Charlie Gravel
“I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.”
― Oscar Wilde
anniemcu
--- "You are what you do, not what you claim to believe." -Gene A. Statler
--- "Olé to you, none-the-less!" - Elizabeth Gilbert
--- http://www.sassafrassgrove.com
crookedtune wrote:So, let's talk about 'Carl's Jr.'. Is that something like Ruth's Chris Steakhouse, or Johns Hopkins, for that matter? Americans have no idea what an apostrophe is for, so you really never know. Maybe the guy was just trying to intimidate the place into using good grammar.
A Carl's Jr. recently opened in my town*, and I remember something about the name being printed in the paper. A quick Google search reveals (from http://www.ckr.com/about_history.html ) :
"It all began [in the 1940's] in Los Angeles when an Ohio farmer’s son named Carl Karcher . . . and his wife, Margaret . . . opened their first full-service restaurant, Carl’s Drive-In Barbeque.
. . . In 1956, Carl expanded his business by opening the first two Carl’s Jr.® restaurants in Anaheim and nearby Brea. They were so named because they were junior versions of Carl’s original drive-in restaurant. . . ." (emphasis mine)
So, apparently, this was not a case of an accidental apostrophe. Certainly the original "Carl’s Drive-In Barbeque" had an appropriately placed apostrophe. Perhaps a comma would have made it make more sense: Carl's, Jr.?
*Disclaimer: I have no connection to Carl's Jr. and have never eaten at one of their restaurants.
Andy Pruitt's luck was never what you'd call real good,
Always had a tough time gettin' by, it seems,
But he worked and got his house fixed up and finally thought he could,
Afford the motorcycle of his dreams,
So he went and picked a Honda out at Sonny's Chopper Shop,
"I've gotta warn ya," Sonny said, as Andy climbed on top,
"Never turn the key while it's in gear," which Andy had to do,
And straight through the showroom window he and that new Honda flew.
Oh, the pain that Andy went through when he went through the pane,
He was sliced and diced and crinkle-cut, the blood ran down like rain,
They scraped him up and carted him off to Emergency,
Where the folks in white all gathered 'round and held a quilting bee.
The boys brought Andy home all bandaged up from head to toe,
His wife just shook her head and said, "What now?"
He found the bike where Sonny'd parked it on the patio,
Said, "This sucker wracked me up, I'll show you how."
"Now, Deannie, if you start this thing, make sure it ain't in gear,"
He kicked it over once to show how it could buck and rear,
And that bike drug Andy through his brand new plate-glass slidin' door,
Trashed the den, flipped over, drained the gas tank on the floor.
Oh, the pain that Andy went through when he went through the pane,
He was sliced and diced and crinkle-cut, the blood ran down like rain,
She scraped him up and carted him back to Emergency,
Where the folks in white all gathered 'round for another quilting bee.
With more stitches in his hide than Betsy Ross had ever sewn,
Andy got back home, he felt like one big ache,
He staggered to the bathroom and eased down upon the throne,
And lit a cigarette, a bad mistake,
For unbeknownst to that poor Darvon-headed, shredded man,
Deannie'd mopped up all that gasoline and dumped it in the can,
He chucked the match between his legs, a singein' fireball,
Blew Andy off the toilet seat and through the shower stall.
Oh, the pain that Andy went through when he went through the pane,
He was sliced and diced and crinkle-cut, the blood ran down like rain,
They scraped him up and carted him back to Emergency,
Where the folks in white all gathered 'round for another quilting bee.
Andy woke next day eight-hundred dollars in the hole,
For that busted glass, his busted ass, new pipes and bathroom bowl,
His motorcycle fantasy, he never did complete,
He sold the bike he'd never rode for more than fifteen feet.
Reminds me of a story where a drunk told a fellow drinker that there was bar across town that he had sat on a toilet with a golden seat.
The two set off to find the place. After a long search, he recognized the building.
When they entered the door one of the musicians in the band there tapped the tuba player on the shoulder, "There's the guy who messed up your tuba the other night!"
crookedtune wrote:So, let's talk about 'Carl's Jr.'. Is that something like Ruth's Chris Steakhouse, or Johns Hopkins, for that matter? Americans have no idea what an apostrophe is for, so you really never know. Maybe the guy was just trying to intimidate the place into using good grammar.
A Carl's Jr. recently opened in my town*, and I remember something about the name being printed in the paper. A quick Google search reveals (from http://www.ckr.com/about_history.html ) :
"It all began [in the 1940's] in Los Angeles when an Ohio farmer’s son named Carl Karcher . . . and his wife, Margaret . . . opened their first full-service restaurant, Carl’s Drive-In Barbeque.
. . . In 1956, Carl expanded his business by opening the first two Carl’s Jr.® restaurants in Anaheim and nearby Brea. They were so named because they were junior versions of Carl’s original drive-in restaurant. . . ." (emphasis mine)
So, apparently, this was not a case of an accidental apostrophe. Certainly the original "Carl’s Drive-In Barbeque" had an appropriately placed apostrophe. Perhaps a comma would have made it make more sense: Carl's, Jr.?
*Disclaimer: I have no connection to Carl's Jr. and have never eaten at one of their restaurants.
My 15 minutes of 6th degree of fame was my mother in law knew Carl Karcher in Santa Ana in the 30s. That is all and signing off...
