My 12-year-old daughter ...

[fyffer]

... has a boyfriend.
Crap.

Please add your commiserations below.
Expressions of "Ha Ha!" are not considered to be sympathetic.
However, suggestions of appropriate firearms are indeed welcome.

Thank you.

[NicoMoreno]

http://www.xkcd.com/314/

Therefore your daughter is too young to date, as proven by mathematics.

[TheSpoonMan]

I'm not much of a gun person (not much chance for it in the city since they closed the shooting range "before my time"), so I can't give much specific advice. But I do like my turkey gun- wasn't too expensive either, and if the fella's 12 too I don't see a need for anything fancier than a shotgun like that. If he's older than 12 lock your daughter up till she's marrying age (say, 15), there's really no other solution.

[WyoBadger]

I'd go with a 10, maybe 12 guage pump shotgun. The sound is so intimidating you really don't even need to load it.

I find that sharpening broadheads with a bow strung nearby can also be effective in getting people to behave themselves.

[izzarina]

I have heard that dragging out the baby pictures is usually enough to chase them away...for a while anyway.

[dwest]

Actually just give you child a big hug in the presence of said boyfriend and ask her how those cold sores are healing? Or did she all the poison ivy off her hands, or just mess with her hair and comment about how almost all the nits are gone. Barring all that a cheap 22 revolver, with a foam filled pillow, don't use fiberfill, it is much messier. Or just carry a Big Dog 500 S&W Magnum with a scope, distance is no object, reach out and touch someone.

[gonzo914]

I rather like Bill Engvall's approach --

I'm going to pull him in tight next to me so only he and I can hear the conversation. And I'm gonna say to him, "Boy, look at me. You see that little girl right there? She's my only little girl, man. She's my life. So if you have any . . . thoughts . . . about huggin', or . . . kissin', you remember these words: 'I've got no problem going back to prison.'

[dwest]

BTW having only boys I can't really relate to this, but I am heavily armed so if your daughter doesn't keep her slimy little hands off my kid.... And I still don't let them date, sub-QCs(below a quarter century) are incapable of rational relationships.

[djm]

I don't think you have anything to worry about. 12 is much too young for me.

djm

[gonzo914]

I don't think you have anything to worry about. 12 is much too young for me.

djm

"But Your Honor, as god is my witness, I thought she was expressing her age in hexadecimal."

[brewerpaul]

Tell her you like the boy: that'll put her off!

[kkrell]

What kind of car does he drive?

[mutepointe]

You may have missed my recent comment in another thread.

What's the most stupid thing in the world? A teenage boy.
What's even more stupid? A teenage girl in love with a teenage boy.

This is your time to shine as a parent. Do your best.

[emmline]

Fyffer...my experience in these matters projects that to be "dating" someone at age 12 means, in layman's terms, that
you might walk to class together if your trajectories coincide...you might prevail upon a parent to take you and your bf to see Jurassic Park 3 (or current equivalent) during which you will awkwardly ignore each other...but mostly you will be able to claim the right--in conversations with peers--that you are "going out with" so and so. And that it will last roughly 3.5 weeks. maybe.
Don't worry. Yet.

[hyldemoer]

Did I ever mention that when my daughter was a teenager all the guys she dated were confused about my Wicca religion and its relationship to Santeria?

When that wasn't enough I'd invite them to accompany the family to either a public Full Moon ritual or party with the Dark Horde at an SCA event.

If my daughter's boyfriend took me up on the offers it was always a given she'd be no longer interested in him.