Things Best Not To Be Doing When You Sneeze

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anniemcu
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Post by anniemcu »

Nanohedron wrote:Of course shaving comes to mind.
I thought you were vetoing the life-threatening choices.
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Post by Coffee »

sbfluter wrote:Riding a motorcycle isn't good if you are sneezing.
Particularily if you have a full helmet and the visor is down...
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Post by Coffee »

Also, if you happen to be employed as a sniper...
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Post by Nanohedron »

fearfaoin wrote:
Nanohedron wrote:Of course shaving comes to mind.
Once a man was shaving when he suddenly sneezed, cutting off his nose.
In great pain, he dropped his straight razor, unfortunately cutting off his
toe. He collected both appendages and hied to the hospital. The doctor was
able to reattach both, but he accidentally put the man's nose where his toe
should be and vice versa. He's doing pretty well, actually, except that when
he sneezes, his shoe flies off.
And his foot smells, of course.
dwest wrote:I can't believe this, Ben Franklin even wrote a book about f@rting. Chaucer used it all the time, it's a part of all great literature! :lol:
Mark Twain did so, too, in his short and little-available work of ribaldry commonly known as 1601 (some strong language in the link, so be warned). Hilariously adolescent stuff in well-wrought Elizabethan language.

A friend has a copy, #22 of 75 (there's a limited edition for you). I read from it aloud to an audience of varying degrees of laughter and dismay.

The cat appears to have forgiven me; she's in the same room now, looking out the window.
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Nanohedron
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Post by Nanohedron »

anniemcu wrote:
Nanohedron wrote:Of course shaving comes to mind.
I thought you were vetoing the life-threatening choices.
What ever gave you that idea? :lol:
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jsluder
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Post by jsluder »

Nanohedron wrote:
anniemcu wrote:
Nanohedron wrote:Of course shaving comes to mind.
I thought you were vetoing the life-threatening choices.
What ever gave you that idea? :lol:
Sneezing while shaving is probably safer than attempting to bathe a cat.
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Post by KarenCook »

Eating beignets at Cafe DuMonde in New Orleans. If you have had them, you know what I mean... :oops:
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Post by jsluder »

KarenCook wrote:Eating beignets at Cafe DuMonde in New Orleans. If you have had them, you know what I mean... :oops:
Heh. Yup, that'd be messy. :lol:
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Post by fearfaoin »

KarenCook wrote:Eating beignets at Cafe DuMonde in New Orleans. If you have had them, you know what I mean... :oops:
That's only a problem for the person sitting across from you...
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Post by Nanohedron »

But what about the pre-sneeze backdraft? Candied nares...ew.
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Post by fearfaoin »

Nanohedron wrote:But what about the pre-sneeze backdraft? Candied nares...ew.
Oh, yeah, I misunderestimated that part....
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Post by mutepointe »

You sure don't want to be recovering from heart surgery. I sneezed once after my surgery and didn't sneeze again for over a year. Sneezing still rattles my bones.
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Post by djm »

I hope kitty's cough is better. I'd try a spoon next time. While it is a novel approach, sneezing medication into a cat is not likely to provide sufficient quantity as to make up a proper sized dose.

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Post by Congratulations »

dwest wrote:I can't believe this, Ben Franklin even wrote a book about f@rting. Chaucer used it all the time, it's a part of all great literature! :lol:
A friend of mine wrote a huge research paper on scatalogical humor in Milton.
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Post by Sandy McLeod »

As the doctor said just before performing my vasectomy . . . .

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