Fake Names

[Walden]

In the language of my people, "Thrud" means "Someone who can fool a Chiffmaster."

That don't take much doing.

[hyldemoer]

Well the weirdest part is that one of the people is my co-worker and she's otherwise a very nice person. But don't you dare call her "ma'am" or say "ladies first" because she'll rip your gonads off.

Does she dye her hair and wear makeup to appear younger than she really is?

Some women want you to play along as if all that war paint is accomplishing the job.
But heavens! Don't call them "girl" either.

I was at an open Full Moon ritual some years back and a guy there addressed us ladies as "ladies".
Then he stopped himself and with a smile said "I hope you all don't mind my calling you 'ladies'", I guess as if he thought he hit on an inside joke to be calling us a bunch of hookers.

Well,
the standard reply to that sort of question (especially at a Full Moon ritual) was,
"Oh no. We don't mind.
If the word _lady_ is good enough for the Goddess, its good enough for us".

We didn't offer up his gonads later on in the ritual either.


Uh, the coolest part about being addressed as "Ma'am" is no one expects you to remember what they said their name is so you get to call everybody "dear" or "honey".

[Lambchop]

It doesn't matter what name I give at restaurants.
I've reached the age where everybody but my friends address me as "Mam", or at least should if they were raised properly.

This makes me very happy. I recently came out of a discussion with four Womens Studies majors and a professor about how addressing women as "Ma'am" (something I was raised to do) is sexist, chauvinistic, arrogant, discriminatory, and basically the worst thing since unsliced bread. They also said holding a door open for a woman as she entered a building, even if she was 900 years old, was a sign that I thought I was stronger than her and that I should never do it. I think they all have issues.

Well, that is the 70's talking. The feminist movement got this notion cranked up and going, and I'll admit I subscribed to it myself when I was in college.

Basically, what they are saying is that calling women "ma'am" and holding doors open for them reinforces the stereotype that women are weak and of less worth than men. It's akin to foot-binding in China, the modern equivalent of which is the thin-soled, high-heeled shoe. It goes along with frilly and impractical female clothing which ensures that only men can do manly things. It communicates neediness.

There is a slight difference between that and the Southern use of the term "ma'am," which I think is a manifestation of the formal respect given to ALL respectable folks. You call gentlemen "sir" or "Mr." and you call ladies "Ma'am" or, if unmarried, "Miss." That usage is affiliated with social class rather than gender distinctions.

As I said, I once engaged in these sorts of academic discussions and was, myself, rabidly anti-ma'am. But, something in my life happened which gave me a better perspective on this.

That something was a commission in the Army, after which everybody above and below me called me "ma'am." Absolutely nothing in that form of address is meant to imply weakness.

It's never bothered me since.

Your friends are focusing on this because it seems to be a Big Issue to them. In reality, there are much bigger issues which keep women in the underclass. They're just kind of hard to see while you're still in college.

[Denny]

Well, that is the 70's talking.

shucks....I used to "ma'am" our local NOW leader all the time back then.

Lovely girl, she was....sense of humor

[Paul]

...

Well the weirdest part is that one of the people is my co-worker and she's otherwise a very nice person. But don't you dare call her "ma'am" or say "ladies first" because she'll rip your gonads off.

Yep, she's got some issues.

KAC

No doubt. She's the one who'se missing out, IMO. Why wouldn't a lady want men to go out of their way to be kind to her? THat just doesn't add up. Her loss.

You guys can call me "ma'am" and open doors for me any time you want!!

Yes Ma'am!

[Jack]

No, she doesn't wear makeup. She also wears men's clothes and dates other women, so I know she doesn't represent most women. The way the whole conversation got started was that I said "Ladies first" one day and it really made her angry. Since then, whenever she and I have a shared project, I always say "ladies first," then I go first.

I'm just classy like that.

[Lambchop]

No, she doesn't wear makeup. She also wears men's clothes and dates other women, so I know she doesn't represent most women. The way the whole conversation got started was that I said "Ladies first" one day and it really made her angry. Since then, whenever she and I have a shared project, I always say "ladies first," then I go first.

This isn't just the usual "don't call me ma'am" thing. This is an entire other dimension.

Next time, tell us in advance, OK?

[Ceili_whistle_man]

Hey Innocent Bystander!!, in Australia the locals don't say Cairns in the same way you pronounce your name, they say 'Kens'.
Aussies are shockers at mangling English; newsreaders say 'per-shoot' for pursuit. 'Boyk' for bike. 'Loik' for like. 'Mite' for mate. 'Marown' for maroon: maroon is a colour. They also have a saying 'Yeah nah it was good", eh? what's that mean?
I don't use a nick name as such, I make Ceili whistles. People who know me call me 'yer man' it is Belfast talk for 'your man' as in 'Here comes yer man'. People I know always try to talk to me in an Irish accent and it always comes out as Scottish! It doesn't help that they start off with 'See you Jimmy' then ask 'How was that?'
Bystander my Grandfather's surname was Cairnduff and I know we had Cairns, Duff, McDuff, MacDuff and McIlduff in our family past.
Like my own family I would say you have Scots/Irish blood in your's along the way.

[Innocent Bystander]

Hey Innocent Bystander!!, in Australia the locals don't say Cairns in the same way you pronounce your name, they say 'Kens'.
Aussies are shockers at mangling English; newsreaders say 'per-shoot' for pursuit. 'Boyk' for bike. 'Loik' for like. 'Mite' for mate. 'Marown' for maroon: maroon is a colour. They also have a saying 'Yeah nah it was good", eh? what's that mean?
I don't use a nick name as such, I make Ceili whistles. People who know me call me 'yer man' it is Belfast talk for 'your man' as in 'Here comes yer man'. People I know always try to talk to me in an Irish accent and it always comes out as Scottish! It doesn't help that they start off with 'See you Jimmy' then ask 'How was that?'
Bystander my Grandfather's surname was Cairnduff and I know we had Cairns, Duff, McDuff, MacDuff and McIlduff in our family past.
Like my own family I would say you have Scots/Irish blood in your's along the way.

Yeah, but that's because Aussies got into the habit of talking through clenched teeth, to stop the flies from flying in. Oh yeah, Scots-Irish. The Northern Channel was always a highway, never an obstacle.

[anniemcu]

No, I don't use fake names. "annie" is my middle name "Ann", and what my hubby calls me.

I make it a point to be the same person online that I am in person. I don't care for falseness at all. It wastes entirely too much time and energy.

[kennychaffin]

No, I don't use fake names. "annie" is my middle name "Ann", and what my hubby calls me.

I make it a point to be the same person online that I am in person. I don't care for falseness at all. It wastes entirely too much time and energy.

I'm with you on that!

KAC

[cowtime]

No fake names (other than cowtime). Nah, I'm just me, always have been, always will be, just me, here and in worlds known and unknown.

[Jack]

No, I don't use fake names. "annie" is my middle name "Ann", and what my hubby calls me.

I make it a point to be the same person online that I am in person. I don't care for falseness at all. It wastes entirely too much time and energy.

I'm with you on that!

KAC

I'm with you, too.

Although for a few years there I thought the "mcu" at the end of "anniemcu" was Something-Something University.

[anniemcu]

No, I don't use fake names. "annie" is my middle name "Ann", and what my hubby calls me.

I make it a point to be the same person online that I am in person. I don't care for falseness at all. It wastes entirely too much time and energy.

I'm with you on that!

KAC

I'm with you, too.

Although for a few years there I thought the "mcu" at the end of "anniemcu" was Something-Something University.

Hmmm... if I were of a mind to milk that ... hmmmm

Of course, I did get a "Buy your degree today" type email this am. .. Nah - I have a 'friend' who did just that, and is reaping the 'benefits' of her lies, even as we speak.

[I.D.10-t]

Sure enough, several minutes later when our table is ready, they will announce, "Communist party of 6, your table is ready."

Some day I will have to tell the restaurant the name is "Donner".