OT: Top 10 Mispellings of "subscribe"

Post by **Dale** » Tue Dec 10, 2002 8:04 pm

People subscribe to the newsletter by putting the word "subscribe" in the subject box of email to me. It's a good thing I look at these myself and don't have the computer subscribe automatically. I've collected the following alternate spellings of "subscribe":

1. subcribe
2. suscribe
3. sucrscribe
4 sucscribe (this one sucks, as the young people say)
5. subscreib (mostly from Germany)
6. cubscibe (you think I'm making it up. I'm not. I had to email them back to find out what they wanted.)
7. surbscribe
8. Serbia (Ok, I made THIS one up).
9. Subscripe (Holy 'Cripe, Batman!)
10. Seirbhscibith (Irish? Probably someone's idea of a joke.)

Dale)

mvhplank · Post by **mvhplank** » Tue Dec 10, 2002 8:12 pm

Hmm. I've been collecting misspellings of my name. (The work of a lifetime, you might say.)

Once, to liven up a particularly awful job, I would deliberately NOT spell it for people just to see what came back in through the mail.

The very strangest one was "Margie Pete."

Mahr-gue-("Never call me 'Maggie'")-reet

Zubivka · Post by **Zubivka** » Tue Dec 10, 2002 8:19 pm

No "subscript" or "superscript" ?

Now I wonder what I sent to, uh, enlist.

mvhplank · Post by **mvhplank** » Tue Dec 10, 2002 8:23 pm

Interesting, too, that it's just bad typing and nothing howlingly Freudian. (Unless I'm particularly dense tonight!)

M

Jeferson · Post by **Jeferson** » Tue Dec 10, 2002 10:11 pm

Hey, Dale, at least you're not asking anyone to spell organism.

Jef

aderyn_du · Post by **aderyn_du** » Tue Dec 10, 2002 10:17 pm

I think the individuals who used #6 were partaking of something.... I mean, cubscibe??? Even I, who have on occasion been linked with deviating from the Proper and the Norm, can't come up with the reasons for that one!!

Andrea ~*~

Kim in Tulsa · Post by **Kim in Tulsa** » Tue Dec 10, 2002 11:23 pm

Here's a good way to let people know how to unsubscribe...

How To Unsubscribe

To unsubscribe from this service you must first purchase a Craft-O-Matic
Adjustable Subscription Cancellation Unit. The unit can be obtained from
most hardware stores and dental clinics. Be sure to obtain the proper
permits to operate the unit from the Nuclear Regulatory Commission and the
Food and Drug Administration in Washington D.C. USA.

Be sure to carefully unpack the kit and place each component in its
accompanying mesh safety bag. Mount the Pershing DF4 mesinator on top of
the perforated Gerring Mach 77 refibulator and attach them using the
eight-millimeter torque fork. Be sure that the refibulator is mounted at a
66 degree angle and properly dispersed so that it is flush with the curved
section of the Pyrex thistle tube. Place the four sections of the
triangular separation gear into the posture cylinder and lock them into
place using the band aid adhesive strip. Insert the wiggling pin into the
wobbling hole, making sure that it seated correctly. Place the D cell
battery and the eleven 9 volt batteries in the power chamber.

The device should be calibrated before operation using the optional digital
corkscrew accessory pack prior to operation. Insert the digital corkscrew
through the electronic combustion service chamber using caution not to touch
the reinforced tungsten igniter control module and quickly turn the inverter
drive to 28.6 degrees. Turn the Craft-O-Matic Adjustable Subscription
Cancellation Unit upside down and hit the bottom plate with a 48-ounce
ball-peen hammer while shaking the unit vigorously. Force open the door to
the incineration valve compartment and set the pressure gauge to 719 psi.
Close the door and seal it shut with duct tape. The unit should now be
properly calibrated and ready to use.

Before activating the Craft-O-Matic Adjustable Subscription Cancellation
Unit, you must first elevate it to a height of 229 feet above sea level to
insure that the unit receives the proper oxygen level and barometric
pressure. Point the aerial to 17 degrees north by northeast to within the
parameters of the Telstar GS-2 weather satellite and apply pressure to the
wing shaft on the southern most section of the modular accelerator. Using
the special ratchet adapter supplied with the unit, rotate the heater core
to the "on" position.

The "on" position has been obtained when the green light begins to flash,
signifying that the red light is about to go off. Once the red light is
off, flip the toggle switch labeled "ON/OFF" to the "ON" position and count
to 47 before logging on to the system.

Logon using your username and password and wait for the prompt. Once
prompted you must check the box with the appropriate action you wish to take
and then press the pressure release button and turn off the compressor while
turning the hand crank at 231 meters per minute. Next, press control, alt,
delete, caps lock, shift, number lock, escape and tab simultaneously. Press
enter.

You will have one second to complete the procedure. If you fail to respond
in the time limit allowed, simply purchase a new Craft-O-Matic Adjustable
Subscription Cancellation Unit and start from the beginning.

Please remember that this is the only way we will accept for you to
unsubscribe from this service. We have made every attempt to simplify the
procedure for your convenience. Failure to comply with the unsubscribe
policy will result in immediate termination of your subscription so please
follow the above directions closely.

ummm, down here dear, ya hear!

To unsubscribe, send an email to: [insert list unsubbing instructions here]

Blackbeer · Post by **Blackbeer** » Wed Dec 11, 2002 1:18 am

Now then let me say this about that. As probably the worst speller in the community its with great pride that I speak of my good catholic upbringing and the perticular style of fonetic spelling I was raised with. Ridicule will not make up for your lack of decyferability of a perfectly good form of the written language. In fact the sounding out method of visual comunication is far suppearior, IMHO to all the silent e`s and j`s and c`s and long vouls and dirty commey tricks the english language tries to play on us hapless victoms of birth. Plus this key board keeps changing keys on me all the time.And now I`m wriddled with doubt (see why do ya need that lousy b in there) because I don`t know (and why can`t it be no, I mean you know what I mean) how I spelled subscribe in my email. This is why we become psycotic (sikotic).

Tom

Redwolf · Post by **Redwolf** » Wed Dec 11, 2002 1:39 am

On 2002-12-10 21:12, mvhplank wrote:
Hmm. I've been collecting misspellings of my name. (The work of a lifetime, you might say.)

Once, to liven up a particularly awful job, I would deliberately NOT spell it for people just to see what came back in through the mail.

The very strangest one was "Margie Pete."

Mahr-gue-("Never call me 'Maggie'")-reet

No one ever gets my name right. When I was a kid, I learned to answer to "Andrea," "Andra," "Audra," "Audi," and even "Andre." The misspellings are even more comical...I even have a motel VIP card sent to me in the name of "Auey" (how they got that, I have no idea). My surname, by contrast, should be easy...I carefully spell it for people and tell them "it's like the coin" (or "the metal" if I'm talking to someone from out of the country), but it still gets spelled Nichols, Nichol, Nikkel, Nikkell, Nickles, Nickle and Nickels (FWIW, it's "Audrey Nickel").

The funniest I ever saw, however, was the junk mail that my college music teacher used to get. He was a Benedictine monk, and normally signed his name "Br. Ronald Hurst, OSB" (for "Order of St. Benedict"). He was always getting junk mail addressed to "Dear Mr. Osb" or even "Ron Osb."

Redwolf

Roger O'Keeffe · Post by **Roger O'Keeffe** » Wed Dec 11, 2002 3:52 am

LOL, Kim. Reminds me of my repeated unsuccessful attempts to unsubscribe from Compuserve. The only way I managed to shake them off was by cancelling my bank standing order. Just as well I wasn't paying by direct debit or I'd probably still be caught in their cold dead hands.

jbarter · Post by **jbarter** » Wed Dec 11, 2002 6:47 am

I always knew one day we'd long for the return of our erstwhile nemesis 'The Spelling Cop'. Who's been hanging around the site long enough to remember him?

mvhplank · Post by **mvhplank** » Wed Dec 11, 2002 7:01 am

On 2002-12-11 07:47, jbarter wrote:
I always knew one day we'd long for the return of our erstwhile nemesis 'The Spelling Cop'. Who's been hanging around the site long enough to remember him?

Ohmigawd--you had a Spelling Cop? I consider it actually therapeutic to prevent myself from editing messages I when I quote and respond. It's an exercise-of-will sort of thing.

By way of explanation, I do a fair bit of freelance proofreading and some editing and quality assurance (i.e., editing) at my day job. The temptation to just fix it is terrible. But, I tell myself, it would be rude in this context.

By the way, I find Blackbeer's spelling creative to the point of being an art form in itself.

M
(How ELSE would my personality develop, with a name like mine? I can still remember learning how to spell it.)

blackhawk · Post by **blackhawk** » Wed Dec 11, 2002 7:05 am

Kim, you're hilarious!

mvhplank · Post by **mvhplank** » Wed Dec 11, 2002 8:08 am

On 2002-12-11 08:05, blackhawk wrote:
Kim, you're hilarious!

Yeah! That's the sort of thing I'd expect to see in the New Yorker under Steve Martin's byline.

Excellent!

jim_mc · Post by **jim_mc** » Wed Dec 11, 2002 8:09 am

I, for one, have been waiting with baited breathe for the retrun of the speling cop.