Carsuck

missy · Post by **missy** » Wed Dec 26, 2007 10:58 am

(sorry for the hijack, Dale....)

Izz, when my oldest was getting close to driving, he and Tom completely redid the body of our 1979 pick up truck, fixing all the rust, and repainting it. The truck was originally my dad's (who died when I was pregnant with Nate) and we had kept it for hauling stuff, etc. It still has less than 100,000 miles on it.

Anyway, by having to work on this himself, Nate took a real pride in the vehicle.
I also looked at it from a "mom" point of view:
1) it was the cheapest thing to insure he could drive
2) he could only get two other people in the vehicle with him
3) if he got into a wreck, other than where they had to put Bondo on it, it's still all metal, so he'd come out ahead.
4) it doesn't go fast. It may get there eventually, but it takes it a long time to do so.

I also took him over to an empty parking lot the first heavy rain and first snow we got and taught him how to panic stop and control it, etc.

While Nate had since bought a newer truck, he says he will always keep this one.

So far, while Noah has his temps, he's really not shown an interest in getting his license. With his ADD, that's just fine with me, I know he'll unintentionally get into an accident sooner or later when his mind wanders. The ex does have a old 1988 Jeep Cherokee Noah can drive when he finally does get his license - again, it needs work, so he'll have to put sweat equity into it and therefore hopefully have some pride of ownership in it, too.

Post by **Dale** » Wed Dec 26, 2007 11:03 am

izzarina wrote:I must admit, Dale, I find your post to be positively frightening. I have 2 that are old enough to have their own car now, and one on his way to that (he's about a year away from getting a license). It's one of those issues that I don't even want to think about yet, let alone act upon. So you have my sympathies in your quest. It won't be too terribly long before I'll be looking for something for mine as well.

Sorry I'm not more help...I'm here more to see what kinds of responses you get

Don't forget: http://www.parentingteendrivers.com

Wanderer · Post by **Wanderer** » Wed Dec 26, 2007 11:26 am

I've always been really good at finding cars...either free or nearly free. When I lost my job in 2000 and desperately needed a car, I hit every car dealership in town looking for one for $2000. I finally found one that lasted me 3 years for that price, with no major work other than oil changes to keep it going.

It's real work, though, finding a good deal on a car. If you're time-poor and not cash-poor, it might be a bit of a challenge. But my first step has always been "let all my friends know I need a car in a desperate way" (so that they can listen out for good deals too), and you're right on track there.

Good luck with the great car shuffle!

The Weekenders · Post by **The Weekenders** » Wed Dec 26, 2007 11:30 am

I work in a retirement community. Quite frequently, decent cars are sold when the owners can no longer drive. They usually have scraped bumpers but considering the circumstances, it might be just as well. I work on the newspaper of said community and we run classified ads. So, you might see if you have something like it locally as a source for a car without using a dealer.

FJohnSharp · Post by **FJohnSharp** » Wed Dec 26, 2007 11:32 am

Dale wrote:
Don't forget: http://www.parentingteendrivers.com

We printed out the contract, made a few modificatins, and had her sign it. She was glad to do so, if it meant she got to drive.

izzarina · Post by **izzarina** » Wed Dec 26, 2007 11:47 am

Dale wrote:Don't forget: http://www.parentingteendrivers.com

Oooo...I had forgotten about this! Thanks for reposting, Dale

Missy, I love the idea of doing something like that. I seriously doubt the almost 18 year old would want to totally learn how to take apart a truck and put it back together, but I do know she'd be up for quite a bit of it (she's not really a "girly girl"....). But my almost 17 year old son would definitely love to learn. In other words, it's a great idea! Thanks for passing it on!

Flyingcursor · Post by **Flyingcursor** » Wed Dec 26, 2007 12:23 pm

emmline wrote:
djm wrote:If you're rich enough to buy cars for all your children you are hardly going to get sympathy from a world where ownership of even ONE car is considered a privilege. If your children need a car badly enough they'll find a way to get one for themselves.

djm
...Anyway, thank you for being Cranberry.

My thoughts exactly!

Post by **Nanohedron** » Wed Dec 26, 2007 12:51 pm

Dale tries to get help figuring out how best to shuffle things so he can continue providing care for his family as it plays out for them, and he gets dumped on with someone's money nonsequitur...

Nice. Merry Crassmas to you, too, Deej.

I was talking with an Egyptian expat shopkeeper about our cultural differences, and he mentioned that in his, the norm is that parents provide for their children - as best they can, of course - late into life even after the kids've gone and gotten jobs, which is often at a much later age period than in the West. Families live together; one contributes one's income to the family, and the heads of the house provide back from the kitty, not just their own resources. But that's the best-case scenario. If for some reason the kids just can't get jobs, the parents, or those members who can, still provide. Leaving the nest and striving for autonomy at the first opportunity - he found it incomprehensible, as it disjoints families, in his opinion. That parents would urge their kids to do this, he found even more baffling and cold.

Which is apropos of nothing Dale was after, but since we're doing the Thread Drift Boogie, I'll be darned if I'm gonna be left out.

izzarina · Post by **izzarina** » Wed Dec 26, 2007 1:20 pm

Nanohedron wrote:Which is apropos of nothing Dale was after, but since we're doing the Thread Drift Boogie, I'll be darned if I'm gonna be left out.

You know, I've perfected the "Thread Drift Boogie"...

Post by **Nanohedron** » Wed Dec 26, 2007 1:22 pm

izzarina wrote:
Nanohedron wrote:Which is apropos of nothing Dale was after, but since we're doing the Thread Drift Boogie, I'll be darned if I'm gonna be left out.
You know, I've perfected the "Thread Drift Boogie"...

Q.E.D.

Denny · Post by **Denny** » Wed Dec 26, 2007 1:23 pm

Nanohedron wrote:I'll be darned

okay....there ya go

note: Nano is no longer holey

Post by **Nanohedron** » Wed Dec 26, 2007 1:28 pm

Back on track, y'all.

*cracks whip*

scheky · Post by **scheky** » Wed Dec 26, 2007 1:34 pm

Dale, have you tried a "hooptie" on them? Honestly, since it's something they are getting for free, look into the cheap cars that will need occasional work.

I bought an old Audi for around 1k that looked so-so, but needed a total of about $500 put into it for the two years I drove it. Because it wasn't the prettiest thing on the planet, it was never high on the "to break into" list. Heck, nobody would have considered stealing it even if I left the keys in it. It was pretty reliable though, and served the purpose.

I know you want your children to have the best. It's a natural urge for all of us parents. However, sometimes getting something lesser is best in the long run for everybody.

Just a thought.

dwinterfield · Post by **dwinterfield** » Wed Dec 26, 2007 1:34 pm

Dale - It sounds like it's time for you to buy yourself the best car you want that you can afford. Take the keys to all the remaining cars, put them on the table, step out of the room and let the rest of your family work it out.

You'll be Daddy forever, but your term as the "Decider" is winding down.

peeplj · Post by **peeplj** » Wed Dec 26, 2007 1:39 pm

dwinterfield wrote:Dale - It sounds like it's time for you to buy yourself the best car you want that you can afford. Take the keys to all the remaining cars, put them on the table, step out of the room and let the rest of your family work it out.

You'll be Daddy forever, but your term as the "Decider" is winding down.

This sounds like really good advice to me.

Then again, I have no kids and five ferrets, so my endorsement may not mean much.

For what it's worth, I think the amount you of worry and effort you're putting into this speaks well of you as a parent.

--James