What is the difference between a duck?

djm · Post by **djm** » Wed Oct 17, 2007 8:21 pm

Crushed charcoal has long been a remedy for gas pains in animals. I can't speak to its efficacy.

djm

cowtime · Post by **cowtime** » Wed Oct 17, 2007 8:25 pm

djm wrote:Crushed charcoal has long been a remedy for gas pains in animals. I can't speak to its efficacy.

djm

I don't know the purpose, but Granddaddy always fed coal to the pigs every now and then and they loved it.

Walden · Post by **Walden** » Wed Oct 17, 2007 9:29 pm

gonzo914 wrote:I wasn't getting enough attention, so I started this poll.

Why are you jealous of a few wee hours, Gonzo?

Charlene · Post by **Charlene** » Wed Oct 17, 2007 10:29 pm

Everybody knows what happens when a duck flies upside down, don't you?

Highlight quote box to see answer:

It quacks up

Lambchop · Post by **Lambchop** » Thu Oct 18, 2007 2:43 am

Walden wrote:
gonzo914 wrote:I wasn't getting enough attention, so I started this poll.
Why are you jealous of a few wee hours, Gonzo?

Now, Walden! I'm sure he feels badly enough having confessed his angst in front of everyone. Is it our job to criticize him for being real?

No, I think not. He deserves our sympathies and . . . well . . . our attention. I think that's the only cure. Lots and lots of yummy attention!

A little woozling around the ears wouldn't hurt, either.

jsluder · Post by **jsluder** » Thu Oct 18, 2007 7:34 am

Lambchop wrote:Now, Walden! I'm sure he feels badly enough having confessed his angst in front of everyone. Is it our job to criticize him for being real?

Yes. He should be fake, like the rest of us.

djm · Post by **djm** » Thu Oct 18, 2007 7:45 am

Who's a fake? I'm certainly not. I really am this ....

djm

Wombat · Post by **Wombat** » Thu Oct 18, 2007 8:11 am

Innocent Bystander wrote:A miss is as good as a mile.
If you ducked, and it missed you, then the difference is a mile.

Not if it's a near miss. If it's a near miss, you nearly missed. So you hit ... just. A hit is therefore better than a mile ... just.

djm · Post by **djm** » Thu Oct 18, 2007 8:13 am

But is a hit just?

djm

Wombat · Post by **Wombat** » Thu Oct 18, 2007 8:14 am

djm wrote:But is a hit just?

djm

It is unless it goes amiss.

izzarina · Post by **izzarina** » Thu Oct 18, 2007 8:23 am

2. That's the answer. I can't understand why it wasn't a choice.

anniemcu · Post by **anniemcu** » Thu Oct 18, 2007 8:52 am

WyoBadger wrote:
jsluder wrote:Q: If you're rolling down a river and your wheels fall off, how many bananas does it take to build a dog house?

A: None. Pigs don't like ice cream.
I have a friend who, in his younger more foolish days, did a lot of drugs. He once told me that he could tell what a person was on by asking a question like that, only usually a lot more complex.

The scary thing, he said, was people on LSD. They would come up with answers that made sense.

Tom

Well... at least to him... and he may have been iin a more... um ... receptive... state?

Wombat · Post by **Wombat** » Sat Oct 20, 2007 1:15 am

I can't let this thread die without treating you to some ducky logic and mathematics. Here's one I give to my practical reasoning class to untangle.

Four is an odd number of legs for a duck.
Odd numbers are not divisible by two.
Therefore, four is not divisible by two.

gonzo914 · Post by **gonzo914** » Sat Oct 20, 2007 8:15 am

A duck walks into a bar. (Stop me if you've heard this one.)

The duck walks up to the bartender and says "You got any bread?"

Bartender says "No. This is a bar, not a grocery."

Duck leaves but returns the next day.

"Got any bread?" he asks the bartender.

"I told you yesterday that we don't have any bread," says the bartender. "Beat it."

Duck leaves and again returns the next day.

"Got any bread?" he asks the bartender.

The bartender says, "I told you yesterday we don't have any bread. I told you the day before yesterday we don't have any bread. This is a bar, not a grocery. Now, get out."

Duck leaves and returns the next day.

"Got any bread?" he asks the bartender.

The bartender says, "I told you yesterday we don't have any bread. I told you the day before yesterday we don't have any bread. I told you the day before that we don't have any bread. This is a bar. Now, get out, and if you come in here and ask me that again, I will nail your tiny little bill to the bar."

Duck leaves and reurns the next day.

"What do you want?" says the bartender. "I told you to get out."

And the duck says "You got any nails?"

"No, I do not have any goddam nails," says the bartender.

"Well in that case," says the duck, "you got any bread?"

djm · Post by **djm** » Sat Oct 20, 2007 9:44 am

Stop! Stop! I've already heard it!

djm

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What is the difference between a duck?

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