Cats and cat boxes

[chrisoff]

Just got this forwarded to me, a familiar tale from when we had cats (although getting them into the catbox was nothing compared to feeding them worming tablets):

Yearly booster time for the furry killing machine that I call a cat.

Joy.

So. Find the cat.
Find the catbox.
Find the cat again.
Introduce cat to catbox.
Cat goes in the cat box quietly (this should have been a warning to me) Open door and place catbox in passenger footwell.
Shut door.
Run around to drivers side, jump in and start engine.
Cat mieows.
Select reverse.
Cat explodes from catbox like that thing from Alien.
Cat runs around car shedding fur.
Open door.
Cat escapes.
Go into house and find parcel tape.
Tape box up securely.
Find the cat again.
Catch cat.
Introduce cat to catbox.
Cat goes in the cat box with a hell of a struggle.
Tape up wounds in hands.
Open door and place catbox in passenger footwell.
Shut door.
Run around to drivers side, jump in (engine is still running).
Select reverse and get the car off the drive.
Cat rips through parcel tape like the hulk, scaring the crap out off me.
Car runs around the car in a panic drooling and shedding fur.
Open door.
Cat escapes. Again.
Go into house and find elephant tape. (I've used this stuff to stop kayaks leaking on white water) Tape box up securely. Then use more tape.
Then think "sod it" and use the whole roll.
Find cat again.
Tempt cat using favorite treats.
Pretty much have to saw the cats legs off in an attempt to get him into the accursed box.
Take off gardening gloves (learning from my mistakes) Open door and place catbox in passenger footwell.
Shut door.
Run around to drivers side, jump in (engine has now burnt half a tank of fuel).
Get the car turned around.
Cat still in box, meiowing pathetically.
Comfort cat while driving.
Get halfway to vet.
Pointy eared escape artist does it again. This time at 40mph.
Cat runs around the car in a blind panic drooling and shedding fur.
Avoid crashing the car by about 3mm. This is not good.
Options. Stop, open door to get out and lose cat.
Or, keep driving and risk cat scratching eyes out.
Elect to take the eye scratching option. Glasses should prevent serious injury.
Cat runs around car shedding unbelieveable amounts of fur.
People giving me really funny looks.
Furry Fangio ends up sitting on my lap with two paws on the steering wheel looking out of the front window.
I'd have taken pictures, but I was rather busy at the time.
People now giving me *really* funny looks.
5 minutes pass.
Get to the vet.
Park the car.
Somehow get the car back into the box.
Get into vets rather harassed.
Nice vet takes 2 minutes to check and inject the cat.
She then spends 5 minutes helping me reinforce the cat box to get home again.
Takes 2 of us to get the cat back in the box.
Get the bill.
Stop laughing and ask for the real bill.
Get the same bill.
Pick myself up from the floor.
Pay a ton of cash for the privilage of the cat being injected.
Return to car.
Open door and place catbox in passenger footwell.
Shut door.
Run around to drivers side, jump in and start engine.
Cat is silent.
Think uh-oh.
Leave vet.
Cat is silent.
Get halfway home.
Cat is silent.
Worry that cat is dead.
Get home safely.
Cat is silent.
Now really worried. Has cat escaped silently? Is cat plotting revenge?
Get catbox out of car.
Open cat box.
Cat saunters out, give me a "What?" look and wanders off.
I stand there like a gibbering idiot.
Cat lies in sun.
Open beer.
Drink.
Open second beer.
Get vacuum cleaner out.
Open third beer.
Clean cat hair out of car......


He's now next to me on the sofa with his feat in the air snoring contentedly.

As much as I love him, sometimes I wish he was a goldfish.

[Cass]

Ha Ha! Brilliant!!
Ours (the old one), gets in the box no problem....it's getting her out again onto the vets counter that proves difficult!!! You can turn the box upside down and shake it....she still manages to stay inside (I'm sure she uses a combination of velcro and claws and somehow manages to defy gravity at the same time.!) ....Let her go and she's back in that box at warp factor 10! with a look that says "You ain't getting me out of here again to poke needles in me!"...

Cass.

[Flogging Jason]

I have similar experiences when the time comes to give them flea baths!

[Innocent Bystander]

Yes.

Once upon a time I transported my wife's cat from Manchester to London - a two hour journey.
No problem with the catbox, but the cat miaowed piteously every five seconds for the entire journey. And the radio was broken.

Yeah, vets are expensive, aren't they!

[Cass]

The old one is fine with travelling.....until we're driving through the Mersey tunnel. What a noise!!!!!!!!!!
Nothing fazes the "little un". Not even big dogs, or the vets....she's not normal!

Cass.

[fearfaoin]

This is interesting... When you said "cat box", I thought you were
referring to the litter box (the feline Water Closet, if you will),
because that's what we call it in my region. Possibly in the whole
USA (let me know, folks).

The thing that holds the cat while we drive to, say, the Vet, is
called a "cat carrier". Just another linguistic difference of which
I was not aware. Needless to say, your story confused me for a
few moments.

[chrisoff]

ah, we call them litter trays here (being trays full of cat litter).

I dunno if cat box is the right word, but as it's a box you put a cat in then I think it will do.

[emmline]

Yes, I thought this would be about the litter box as well.
We used to transport cats to the vet in a cardboard box that was used for shipping oranges, but we now use a sturdy plastic and wire kennel type of carrier. I recommend it.

[djm]

The story only makes sense if you picture some poor soul trying to convey the cat to the vet's office in a cardboard box. That would explain the cat clawing its way out during the car ride, and subsequent attempts with tape to contain the cat in the same box.

The first kitten I ever bought I brought home from the pet store in a cardboard box on the bus. This little black paw kept coming out the top, and I would laugh and push it back in again. That's when I learned how needle sharp kittens' claws can be.

Next the head started pushing its way out of the same small opening. This was a more concerted effort on the kitten's part. I ended up the last leg of my journey walking home with the box under one arm, and the other hand stuck in through the hole in the top of the box, keeping the kitten suppressed until we got home.

djm

[sbhikes]

Yes, I thought the cat box was the litter box, too. Cat carrier or travel cage is what I call the container for taking the cat in the car.

By the way, never use a plastic cat carrier to transport a cockatoo, especially if you drive a motorcycle. Bye bye birdie.

[chrisoff]

And here's a similar one about giving them tablets:

Pick up a cat, and cradle as if holding a baby. Position forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks. As cat opens mouth, pop pill in. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

Retrieve pill from floor, and cat from behind sofa. Repeat process.

Retrieve cat from bedroom, throw soggy pill away, and take new pill from foil wrap. Cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for count of ten.

Retrieve pill from goldfish bow and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden. Kneel on floor with cat wedged between knees, hold front and rear paws. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.

Retrieve cat from curtain rail; get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to repair curtains. Sweep shattered Doulton figure from hearth. Wrap cat in large towel with head just visible. Get spouse to hold cat and towel firmly under armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw. force mouth open with pencil, and blow down drinking straw. Cheek to make sure pill not harmful to humans. Drink a glass of water to take taste away. Apply bandage to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

Retrieve cat from neighbours shed. Get another pill Place cat in cupboard and close door on to neck with head showing. Force open mouth with dessertspoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band. Put door back on hinges. Ring Fire Brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Take last pill from foil wrap. Tie cat’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table.

Find heavy-duty pruning gloves in shed. Force cat’s mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by a piece of fillet steak and half pint of water.

Get spouse to drive you to Casualty. Sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call at furniture shop on way home to order new dining table. Go to Vets who puts cat on table. Cat sits while Vet pops open mouth and drops pill in. Cat swallows pill. Vet says, “See how easy it is”?

[djm]

This is one thing that always worried me - tales of how difficult it is to get a cat to swallow pills. One of my cats would spend the winter wrapped around a furnace register. She was always chewing at therslf, to the point that she had bare patches. The vet said she probably had dust alergies, and gave me some pills. I voiced my trepidations about dosing pills, and he showed me how to do it. I never had any problems administering pills to my cats using his method, but I still enjoy these jokes. I suspect you'd have to have a fairly dicey relationship with your cat for it not to trust you enough to take a pill.

djm

[chrisoff]

Not at all. We had an excellent relationship with both our cats but it still used to take me holding the youngest one between my knees, wrapped in a towel, while my mum stuck the pill down her throat (both of us wearing gardening gloves to guard against bites). Invariably we'd find the pill behind a chair half an hour later. Seriously, this cat never once scratched or bit me at any other point in it's life (as opposed to the slightly demented older cat we had), but it just hated getting pills.

We tried putting it in food (all food eaten, except for a solitary pill in the centre of the bowl) and all the other tricks but nothing worked.

However I noticed in the supermarket last night that you can get granules instead of tablets for worming cats now. Once I get my cat that's what I'll be trying. I expect nothing short of a resounding failure.

[jsluder]

A friend of mine has a cat who gets carsick. Two minutes in a moving car, and that cat is hurling like Linda Blair in The Exorcist. Needless to say, I've never volunteered to drive his cat to the vet's office...

[djm]

hurling like Linda Blair

I wonder what it must be like going through life knowing that that will be your greatest legacy. There must be some sort of stigma attached.

djm