Some of life's deep questions.....
- HampshireWhistler
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Some of life's deep questions.....
My mother recently emailed this to me....
Why, Why, Why
Do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are
getting dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?
Why does some one believe you when you say there are four "billion"
stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are
always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off
the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
And finally....
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is
suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best
friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
Just some food for though...
Hampster
Why, Why, Why
Do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are
getting dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?
Why does some one believe you when you say there are four "billion"
stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are
always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off
the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
And finally....
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is
suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best
friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
Just some food for though...
Hampster
"It is terrible to contemplate how few politicians are hanged." - G.K. Chesterton
- chrisoff
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Re: Some of life's deep questions.....
http://cnfpoli.informe.com/viewtopic.php?t=8HampshireWhistler wrote: If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
- peeplj
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Re: Some of life's deep questions.....
Mankind evolved alongside apes, from common ancestors.chrisoff wrote:http://cnfpoli.informe.com/viewtopic.php?t=8HampshireWhistler wrote: If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Evolution does not say man evolved from apes (or from monkeys, same situation as apes).
Evolution says that man, apes, and monkeys all share common ancestry.
--James
P.S. Although, I'll grant you, were I either an ape or a monkey, I might find the idea of common ancestry with mankind particularly revolting, all things considered.
http://www.flutesite.com
-------
"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending" --Carl Bard
-------
"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending" --Carl Bard
- Cynth
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I think that one about Tarzan is really good. It's hard to imagine him with a beard, but explaning his hairless face is even harder. And to think I never gave it a moment's thought, I just accepted what the movies told me.
Diligentia maximum etiam mediocris ingeni subsidium. ~ Diligence is a very great help even to a mediocre intelligence.----Seneca
- cowtime
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The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is
suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best
friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
"Let low-country intruder approach a cove
And eyes as gray as icicle fangs measure stranger
For size, honesty, and intent."
John Foster West
And eyes as gray as icicle fangs measure stranger
For size, honesty, and intent."
John Foster West
- Steamwalker
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Re: Some of life's deep questions.....
That has always been my gripe with my bank. The other week, I got charged a $34 fee for being overdrawn by 4 cents. On top of that, I had to make a $34.04 deposit to avoid getting charged $5 per day for being overdrawn. If overdrawn more than a few days, they begin charging $10 a day...HampshireWhistler wrote:Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?
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Re: Some of life's deep questions.....
Do we really know that they're sterilized? I mean, since they're murdering the person anyway, it's not like she's going to get an infection from an unsterilized needle, so we'd never know if it were not sterilized...HampshireWhistler wrote:Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
- Steamwalker
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Re: Some of life's deep questions.....
George Carlin had a similar joke commenting that, before administering a lethal injection, they swab the inmates arm with alcohol. They wouldn't want them to get an infection AND be dead.Cranberry wrote:Do we really know that they're sterilized? I mean, since they're murdering the person anyway, it's not like she's going to get an infection from an unsterilized needle, so we'd never know if it were not sterilized...HampshireWhistler wrote:Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
- I.D.10-t
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Re: Some of life's deep questions.....
I hope all of these questions can be answered so that you may Email back your mother.HampshireWhistler wrote: Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are
always white?
This is my contribution.
Soon...
"Be not deceived by the sweet words of proverbial philosophy. Sugar of lead is a poison."
- djm
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Its not murder when they want to go. I was just reading how a poll of terminally ill people were 62% in favour of assisted suicide. If you are going to inject comments such as "murder" perhaps you should save them for the poli-board.Cberry wrote:since they're murdering the person anyway
djm
I'd rather be atop the foothills than beneath them.
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Any talk of the death penalty at all should probably go there. I didn't bring it up.djm wrote:Its not murder when they want to go. I was just reading how a poll of terminally ill people were 62% in favour of assisted suicide. If you are going to inject comments such as "murder" perhaps you should save them for the poli-board.Cberry wrote:since they're murdering the person anyway
djm
- djm
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I'm afraid you did. The original joke did not pass judgement on the action with political assertions of "murder", only pointed out some actions ridiculous in their redundancy. There's no sense trying to get snide about it. That's what the "other" forum is for.Cberry wrote:I didn't bring it up.
djm
I'd rather be atop the foothills than beneath them.
- Doug_Tipple
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Re: Some of life's deep questions.....
I worked for one of the largest banks in the USA for eight years. Having to charge poor people exoribitant fees was something that I felt badly about having to do. If you take the time to read and understand the fine print on the legal documents that you have to sign in order to open a checking, savings, or credit card account, you will soon find out that the banking industry is not nearly as friendly as they make themselves out to be in their advertisements. In fact they may be downright ruthless in the application of their fees, which, by the way, only the poor people have to pay. If you have sufficient funds on deposit with the bank, the fees are either not applicable or are waved. The truth is that the fees that the bank charges are a major souce of income for the bank and create more customer service complaints to the Better Business Bureau than nearly any other industry.Steamwalker wrote:That has always been my gripe with my bank. The other week, I got charged a $34 fee for being overdrawn by 4 cents. On top of that, I had to make a $34.04 deposit to avoid getting charged $5 per day for being overdrawn. If overdrawn more than a few days, they begin charging $10 a day...HampshireWhistler wrote:Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?
- HampshireWhistler
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Re: Some of life's deep questions.....
I'm not a bit surprised. I think it was Andrew Jackson who said something about a room full of bankers being more dangerous than a standing army.Doug_Tipple wrote:I worked for one of the largest banks in the USA for eight years. Having to charge poor people exoribitant fees was something that I felt badly about having to do. If you take the time to read and understand the fine print on the legal documents that you have to sign in order to open a checking, savings, or credit card account, you will soon find out that the banking industry is not nearly as friendly as they make themselves out to be in their advertisements. In fact they may be downright ruthless in the application of their fees, which, by the way, only the poor people have to pay. If you have sufficient funds on deposit with the bank, the fees are either not applicable or are waved. The truth is that the fees that the bank charges are a major souce of income for the bank and create more customer service complaints to the Better Business Bureau than nearly any other industry.Steamwalker wrote:That has always been my gripe with my bank. The other week, I got charged a $34 fee for being overdrawn by 4 cents. On top of that, I had to make a $34.04 deposit to avoid getting charged $5 per day for being overdrawn. If overdrawn more than a few days, they begin charging $10 a day...HampshireWhistler wrote:Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?
"It is terrible to contemplate how few politicians are hanged." - G.K. Chesterton