That's creepy

s1m0n · Post by **s1m0n** » Sat Mar 03, 2007 1:53 am

They look embalmed. Why would anyone do that to their child?

BoneQuint · Post by **BoneQuint** » Sat Mar 03, 2007 3:27 am

Makeup must be worn at all times.
Everything must be airbrushed.
All wrinkles, lines, and freckles are ugly.
Edit out every breath, squeak, or missed note.
Edit every note so it's perfectly on the beat.
Use lots of vibrato and earnest emotion.
Record everything separately with a close mic.
Use lots of audio compression to smooth out the sound.
Always add reverb.
The smoother and evener everything is, the better it is.
If it's not completely bland, it is ugly.
How can you argue with these results?

MKE_Chris · Post by **MKE_Chris** » Sat Mar 03, 2007 4:13 am

http://www.naturalbeautiescontest.homes ... uch4a.html

*Mouth Replaced
*Hair Replaced
*Tears removed
*Lashes added
*Stray hairs removed
*Eye liner added
*Eye shadow, lipstick, and blush added
*Facial powder added
*Brows shaped
*Skin blended
*Dark circles removed
*"Doll Eyes" added
*Background changed
*Shadows removed
*Photo angled, brightened, sharped

It's not even the same kid anymore!

And this one looks like a rotoscoped cartoon..
http://www.naturalbeautiescontest.homes ... oucha.html

CountryKitty · Post by **CountryKitty** » Sat Mar 03, 2007 7:05 am

This sort of thing doesn't just border on obsessive--it takes obsessing to a whole new level. People who go to such extremes are obsessed with an image of perfection which is so unreal as to be grotesque.

My daughter was a beautiful and outgoing and adorable toddler (at 16, she's too good-looking for her parents peace of mind!)--and I don't just say this because I'm her Mom. Her grandmother wanted very much for me to enter her in a beautiful baby contest, and I flat refused to expose her to the stresses and unrealistic demands of that sort of 'competition'.

Frankly this subject reminds me of Michael Jackson. I remember seeing a photo of him at 15--he was quite a nice-looking young man. Now, after all he's done to himself to change his appearance, he is a caricature of a person...and looks so frail and sickly as to inspire my pity.

gonzo914 · Post by **gonzo914** » Sat Mar 03, 2007 7:14 am

Before

After

*Hair Curls filled in; hair lengthened
*Dark Circles removed
*Stray Hairs removed
*Brows reshaped
*Nose retouched just a little
*Eyes brightened & sharpened
*Hair shined
*Skin blended
*Facial Powder added
*Lipstick line corrected
*Wrinkle in bodice (udder bust) removed
*Lashes added
*Vest and shirt removed
*Phallic symbol (bow) addeed
*Crotch area enhanced
*IQ reduced by 40 percent
*Photo cropped, brightened & sharpened

emmline · Post by **emmline** » Sat Mar 03, 2007 7:35 am

This is so funny it's almost Onionesque.

Rotoscoped is right. This is what you'd get if you wanted to created digitized versions of those people for an animated feature.

Imagine the fall-out when online minglers meet face to face in Starbucks.
"Um...wait a minute...I only date people who don't reflect light. Sorry. You, like, totally misrepresented yourself."

oh, I just checked out the website. I was wondering about those weird eyes. You can select to have "doll eyes added." What a relief. Who wants real eyes?

Whistlin'Dixie · Post by **Whistlin'Dixie** » Sat Mar 03, 2007 7:50 am

Y'all are hilarious!!!!

M

brewerpaul · Post by **brewerpaul** » Sat Mar 03, 2007 7:52 am

If it wasn't so expensive, I'd send in a pic of myself, just to see how I'd look if I was "perfect"...

I.D.10-t · Post by **I.D.10-t** » Sat Mar 03, 2007 7:54 am

The evolution of beauty.

djm · Post by **djm** » Sat Mar 03, 2007 8:34 am

Until I watched Little Miss Sunshine last year I had no idea the ridiculous lengths Americans were going to in order to change their children into plastic dolls. However, I must admit that in the video in I.D.10-t's link, I find the final version was much better looking than the beginning, though neither is very appealing.

djm

cowtime · Post by **cowtime** » Sat Mar 03, 2007 8:41 am

This is the funniest thread we've had in a good while!

and Gonzo-in the words of Billy Joel- "don't go changin...."

country kitty, I had a similar experience with my girls. Their 1st grade teacher wanted me to put them in a "beauty pagent".
I told her I show my dogs, not my kids.

This whole perfection thing is completely freaky and removes all the "humanity" from the subjects. Yuck. A wrinkled visage, etched by a life time of experiences is so much more beautiful than the smooth vacant "faces" that we are sold as "beauty".

izzarina · Post by **izzarina** » Sat Mar 03, 2007 9:04 am

emmline wrote:oh, I just checked out the website. I was wondering about those weird eyes. You can select to have "doll eyes added." What a relief. Who wants real eyes?

What in the world does it mean to have "doll eyes"? It just sounds icky.

Whistlin'Dixie · Post by **Whistlin'Dixie** » Sat Mar 03, 2007 9:35 am

izzarina wrote:
What in the world does it mean to have "doll eyes"? It just sounds icky.

To me, it is one of the criteria for which I evaluate a patient for brain death!

M

emmline · Post by **emmline** » Sat Mar 03, 2007 10:05 am

izzarina wrote:
emmline wrote:oh, I just checked out the website. I was wondering about those weird eyes. You can select to have "doll eyes added." What a relief. Who wants real eyes?
What in the world does it mean to have "doll eyes"? It just sounds icky.

It seems to be a feature, similar to what the site bills as "hair replaced" or "mouth replaced" in which a digital version is substituted for the original part. So, where the little girl in the actual photo would only pout, a digital smiling mouth was photoshopped in. Doll eyes appear to be the sort that would appear on something from the Franklin Mint.

gonzo914 · Post by **gonzo914** » Sat Mar 03, 2007 12:22 pm

The website s1m0n got that screen capture from looks way more interesting than airbrushed toddlers and brides with their udder busts removed.