Songs with utterly improbable opening lines.
- cowtime
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Suzy?
Suzy: Yes
Suzy Creamcheese?
Yes
This is the voice of your conscience baby, uh . . . I just
want to check one thing out with ya, you don't mind, do ya?
What?
Suzy Creamcheese, honey, what's got into ya?
(The Return of the Son of Monster Magnet)
Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention
Suzy: Yes
Suzy Creamcheese?
Yes
This is the voice of your conscience baby, uh . . . I just
want to check one thing out with ya, you don't mind, do ya?
What?
Suzy Creamcheese, honey, what's got into ya?
(The Return of the Son of Monster Magnet)
Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention
"Let low-country intruder approach a cove
And eyes as gray as icicle fangs measure stranger
For size, honesty, and intent."
John Foster West
And eyes as gray as icicle fangs measure stranger
For size, honesty, and intent."
John Foster West
- chrisoff
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Hah! I was just about to post this effort:cowtime wrote:(The Return of the Son of Monster Magnet)
Bummer by Monster Magnet
You're looking for the one who f****d your mom
It's not me
It's not me
Also now defunct UK band McLusky had some classics, inc. this one:
Derek Brown Says:
All of your friends are c***s
Your mother is a ball-point pen thief
Notoriety follows you
Like beatings follow rain
Allan is a cowboy killer:
Pull up my pants
Now the camera crew has gone
In your statement to the police
Tell them how you turned me on
- brewerpaul
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Ha ha Sludes: I would have BET you were a Bobs fan!jsluder wrote:Sign my snarling doggy -- do it for me
Sign my snarling doggy -- or your knee is his tree
(Sign My Snarling Doggy -- The Bobs)
Spontaneous Human Combustion
Poof, there goes another one
(Spontaneous Human Combustion -- The Bobs)
(if you haven't seen them live, move heaven and earth to do so)
- Wombat
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I'm beginning to think I asked the wrong question, for what I was getting at, although not for getting a lot of fun in response. I guess every first line is improbable in the sense that it was much less likely that someone would have written exactly that song than not. Well, not quite every song; if McCartney hadn't written 'Michelle' and 'Yesterday', Barry Manilow surely would have. I'd really forgotten how many silly first lines the 60s and 70s threw up; I use that term advisedly.
So it's not just improbability; somehow Paul Capsis's line has a very special kind of improbability, just as Capsis himself has a very special kind of improbability.
As for first lines that make you sit up and pay attention, may favourite still is:
God said to Abraham won't you kill me a son,
Abe said 'Hey man, you puttin' me on'
So it's not just improbability; somehow Paul Capsis's line has a very special kind of improbability, just as Capsis himself has a very special kind of improbability.
As for first lines that make you sit up and pay attention, may favourite still is:
God said to Abraham won't you kill me a son,
Abe said 'Hey man, you puttin' me on'
- I.D.10-t
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Kind of like the opening sentance to The Metamorphosis
The biginning to a greater story likeOne morning, as Gregor Samsa was waking up from anxious dreams, he discovered that in bed he had been changed into a monstrous verminous bug.
Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl
With yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there
"Be not deceived by the sweet words of proverbial philosophy. Sugar of lead is a poison."
- djm
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Ladies & Gennelmen . . . the PRESIDENT of the UNITED STATES!
"Fella Americans . . . "
DOOT, DOOT, DOOT . . . DOOT . . .
He's been sick.
DOO-OO-OOT . . . DOOT! DOOT!
(Teet-Teet . . . Teet-Teet . . . Teet-Teet . . . Teet-Teet-Teet)
And I think his wife is gonna bring him some chicken soup.
DOOT, DOOT (Teet-Teet)
- Plastic People - Mothers of Invention
Actually, if you want bizarro we could the entire Zappa catalogue.
CT, I just don't know what to make of you. Girls just don't like anything funny like Zappa or the Mothers. At least, none of the girls I ever met.
djm
"Fella Americans . . . "
DOOT, DOOT, DOOT . . . DOOT . . .
He's been sick.
DOO-OO-OOT . . . DOOT! DOOT!
(Teet-Teet . . . Teet-Teet . . . Teet-Teet . . . Teet-Teet-Teet)
And I think his wife is gonna bring him some chicken soup.
DOOT, DOOT (Teet-Teet)
- Plastic People - Mothers of Invention
Actually, if you want bizarro we could the entire Zappa catalogue.
CT, I just don't know what to make of you. Girls just don't like anything funny like Zappa or the Mothers. At least, none of the girls I ever met.
djm
I'd rather be atop the foothills than beneath them.
- Father Emmet
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- crookedtune
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We got to see them live a few years ago (when Lori Bob was with them) at a local community-college vocal jazz concert. Small venue, with high school and college vocal jazz groups singing Bobs songs while waiting to get in, some great local groups as the opening acts, followed by an incredible performance by the Bobs. Fun fun fun!brewerpaul wrote:Ha ha Sludes: I would have BET you were a Bobs fan!
(if you haven't seen them live, move heaven and earth to do so)
Giles: "We few, we happy few."
Spike: "We band of buggered."
Spike: "We band of buggered."
- daveboling
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Everyone that made it out did so iby widely different margins. I consider my self especially marginal.Sliabh Luachra wrote:Especially, since it was Three Dog Night, as opposed to the Doobies. . .Denny wrote:improbabledaveboling wrote:Jeremiah was a bullfrog, was a good friend of mine.
"Joy to the World"
Doobie Brothers
Some of the musicians I know that survived the '60s don't consider this improbable at all.
dave boling
Which probably means Dave was really there (if you know what I mean)
dave boling
I teleported home one night
With Ron and Sid and Meg.
Ron stole Meggie's heart away
And I got Sidney's leg.
-- Douglas Adams
'Bundinn er bátlaus maðu'.
With Ron and Sid and Meg.
Ron stole Meggie's heart away
And I got Sidney's leg.
-- Douglas Adams
'Bundinn er bátlaus maðu'.
- cowtime
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CT, I just don't know what to make of you. Girls just don't like anything funny like Zappa or the Mothers
( I've still got my dog-eared Freak Out album from the olden days)
"Let low-country intruder approach a cove
And eyes as gray as icicle fangs measure stranger
For size, honesty, and intent."
John Foster West
And eyes as gray as icicle fangs measure stranger
For size, honesty, and intent."
John Foster West
- Nanohedron
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Oh, yeah: also a mod here, not a spammer. A matter of opinion, perhaps. - Location: Lefse country
Two of my Zappa favorites for improbable opening lines (that is, if I'm getting at what you're getting at, Wombles):
"Ah cudda swore hur haiur wuz mayde of raaaay-ahhhnnn..."
"Why does it hurt....when I peeeeee?"
"Ah cudda swore hur haiur wuz mayde of raaaay-ahhhnnn..."
"Why does it hurt....when I peeeeee?"
"If you take music out of this world, you will have nothing but a ball of fire." - Balochi musician
Warren Zevon songs have some great, odd lyrics.
I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand
Walking through the streets of Soho in the rain
He was looking for the place called Lee Ho Fook's
Going to get a big dish of beef chow mein
-Werewolves of London
Well, I went home with the waitress
The way I always do
How was I to know
She was with the Russians too
-Lawyers, Guns and Money
Roland was a warrior from the Land of the Midnight Sun
With a Thompson gun for hire, fighting to be done
The deal was made in Denmark on a dark and stormy day
So he set out for Biafra to join the bloody fray
-Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner
Well, he went down to dinner in his Sunday best
Excitable boy, they all said
And he rubbed the pot roast all over his chest
Excitable boy, they all said
-Excitable Boy
Man, I miss him.
I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand
Walking through the streets of Soho in the rain
He was looking for the place called Lee Ho Fook's
Going to get a big dish of beef chow mein
-Werewolves of London
Well, I went home with the waitress
The way I always do
How was I to know
She was with the Russians too
-Lawyers, Guns and Money
Roland was a warrior from the Land of the Midnight Sun
With a Thompson gun for hire, fighting to be done
The deal was made in Denmark on a dark and stormy day
So he set out for Biafra to join the bloody fray
-Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner
Well, he went down to dinner in his Sunday best
Excitable boy, they all said
And he rubbed the pot roast all over his chest
Excitable boy, they all said
-Excitable Boy
Man, I miss him.
- Flyingcursor
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Back in '79 my roommate and I wore out two tapes of the "Werewolves of London" tape.Buckeye67 wrote:Warren Zevon songs have some great, odd lyrics.
I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand
Walking through the streets of Soho in the rain
He was looking for the place called Lee Ho Fook's
Going to get a big dish of beef chow mein
-Werewolves of London
Well, I went home with the waitress
The way I always do
How was I to know
She was with the Russians too
-Lawyers, Guns and Money
Roland was a warrior from the Land of the Midnight Sun
With a Thompson gun for hire, fighting to be done
The deal was made in Denmark on a dark and stormy day
So he set out for Biafra to join the bloody fray
-Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner
Well, he went down to dinner in his Sunday best
Excitable boy, they all said
And he rubbed the pot roast all over his chest
Excitable boy, they all said
-Excitable Boy
Man, I miss him.
Actually a mutual interest in Zevon brought my wife and I together. That and bluegrass.
One of my favorites off that album is "Like a Martyr". Great stuff.
I'm no longer trying a new posting paradigm