Shopping with Partners

Innocent Bystander · Post by **Innocent Bystander** » Fri Feb 02, 2007 11:44 am

Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or
boyfriend along shopping

This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in
Oxford:

Dear Mrs. Murray,

While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty
Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and
your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our
surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine
products aisle.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
"Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told
shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas
stove.

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he
began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror,
picked his nose, and ate it.

9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the
Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants
were.

10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the
"Mission Impossible" theme.

11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the "Madonna look"
using different size funnels.

12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled
"PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed
the foetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices again."

And; last, but not least:

14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while;
then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here."

Yours sincerely,

Charles Brown
Store Manager

Scott McCallister · Post by **Scott McCallister** » Fri Feb 02, 2007 11:55 am

What...?

I've done all of these... except #8.. That's just nasty.

ok... #8 too

Post by **Nanohedron** » Fri Feb 02, 2007 12:24 pm

Those are seriously funny.

Well, you know what I mean.

Jack · Post by **Jack** » Fri Feb 02, 2007 12:29 pm

Girls do that kind of stuff, too.

fearfaoin · Post by **fearfaoin** » Fri Feb 02, 2007 12:41 pm

Wow, another new twist on an old classic:
http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/spree.asp

I like how the Walmart version includes asking for antidepressants
in the gun department, but at Tescos it had to be changed to knives...

Meadhbh · Post by **Meadhbh** » Fri Feb 02, 2007 12:44 pm

This reminds me of a video my husband showed me the other day...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ic4G8rplgsA

hyldemoer · Post by **hyldemoer** » Fri Feb 02, 2007 1:11 pm

Perhaps Mrs. Murray's husband is a performance artist.

Is Mr. Murray a white guy with dreadlocks and currently living in or near Boston?

Post by **Nanohedron** » Fri Feb 02, 2007 1:16 pm

hyldemoer wrote:Perhaps Mrs. Murray's husband is a performance artist.

Is Mr. Murray a white guy with dreadlocks and currently living in or near Boston?

I'd seen pics of that in the news before this, but it didn't dawn on me until now that the li'l critter was flippin' the bird. Heh.

The Weekenders · Post by **The Weekenders** » Fri Feb 02, 2007 1:19 pm

Yeah, I thought that was the old circulating gag about what to do at Walmart...

I.D.10-t · Post by **I.D.10-t** » Fri Feb 02, 2007 1:24 pm

hyldemoer wrote:Perhaps Mrs. Murray's husband is a performance artist.

Is Mr. Murray a white guy with dreadlocks and currently living in or near Boston?

Man I miss my old Light bright.

I wonder if they still use incandescent light bulbs.

Caj · Post by **Caj** » Fri Feb 02, 2007 1:38 pm

hyldemoer wrote:Perhaps Mrs. Murray's husband is a performance artist.

Is his first name "Bill," perchance?

Caj

anniemcu · Post by **anniemcu** » Fri Feb 02, 2007 6:52 pm

Someone's been following my hubby and son around again, haven't they?

fearfaoin · Post by **fearfaoin** » Fri Feb 02, 2007 7:47 pm

I.D.10-t wrote:I wonder if they still use incandescent light bulbs.

Not in California!

The Weekenders wrote:Yeah, I thought that was the old circulating gag about what to do at Walmart...

Yup, back in '97. It must be a 10 year anniversary thing...

celtic_lass · Post by **celtic_lass** » Fri Feb 02, 2007 8:11 pm

ROFLMBO!!!!!

That is so funny!

cowtime · Post by **cowtime** » Fri Feb 02, 2007 9:58 pm

9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the
Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants
were.

My favorite.